U WANNA SEE MY HEART?





























HERE! SEE IT!!!

E MEDICINE IS GETTING ON MY NERVES!!!! it's disgusting having to drink brown powder like every 5 hrs... & e fact that i can't complain @ home cus it makes my mum feel bloody guilty makes this whole thing much worse.... DAMN IT WHY MUST I EVEN DRINK THIS SHIT?!!!

& i tot i was strong....

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
my parents aren't even acting as a basic grownup by giving reassurances or everything tt this insecure child needs...
sometimes i just feel tt my parents(specifically my mum) didn't really grow in thought, but only in age... she's just so damn childish tt she accuses everyone of committing errors tt she herself fucking makes all the time... wad is her damn problem up there?
i have to learn to convince myself tt my mum learning how to be a mum, just like i'm learning abt adulthood & society.... we all make mistakes....

the most disappointing thing is that i've always believed them to be more mature than me in the material aspect & in their mentality.... i've always have this feeling that they know what is going on with me, but the problem is that they dun really know after all.... they just assumed that they knew.... and it makes it fucking irritating to speak as if she knows how easy it is to score As as if by simply plucking stars out of the sky....

which always explains for the reason why i feel alone most of the time cus i can't even depend on the ppl whom i used to think i could depend on.... i was just having this false sense of security all the time.... sometimes i even have to council her to snap out of her childishness & remind her tt she has the best husband around so stop fuckingly complain that he doesn't give u what u want.... u want a damn big house & a damn big car, go and dream, stop whining u asshole....

u noe humans are animals after all... when u put animals under intense pressure, for eg u keep irritating the hell out of fishes by knocking on their glass tank, or u keep disturbing the cage of a bird, they snap aka, they either jump out of the tank & die (for e fish) or they just dun eat food & die (for e bird).... so for humans, being animals, we self destruct....