Sunday, February 27, 2011


last night was bad

i'm still alive

thank u

Saturday, February 26, 2011

selfish thoughts

i think what's really scary about u and me

is that sometimes i emphatise with u too much

cus i think we share the same pain

that sometimes

i become really selfish

i take life for granted.

n seek for easier ways out to end my pain.

Friday, February 25, 2011


i asked u to define bff

u cldn't give me a reply

u just kept asking if i was ur bff.

if u haf no friggin idea wad's a bff, den why do u want it?

because they haf it in sex n the city? where bffs come at ur beck n call?

i gave it to u in e end anyway.
if it makes u happy.
haf fun facebooking.
my sis n i laugh alot

for e slightest reason

maybe for no reason at all

it's as if we're e happiest person on earth

what a joke

today i had a random thought
when i was reflecting on who i really am
i've come to the conclusion that i'm a damn emo shithead
look at my blog. LOL
9 out of 10 entries are emo verbal diarrhoea.
fail max. hahahaa

Thursday, February 24, 2011


When I was 5 years old, my mom always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down “happy.” They told me I didn’t understand the assignment and I told them they didn’t understand life.

“I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life.” I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
— Maya Angelou

i am one of u

i find myself smiling like a retard whenever i see the clear skies dotted with these tiny little bright white lights





they never fail to remind u


how small u are

how amazing it is be alive out of the ten thousand unknowns out there

and tucked in some corner of my heart i desperately want to believe

that they remember the names of those who have passed before us.

n in the dark skies watching over me






n in the infiniteness of constellation

i am one of u

Without a wish, without a will,
I stood upon that silent hill
And stared into the sky until
My eyes were blind with stars and still
I stared into the sky.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

mum's e word


esp when she confronted nearly e whole family abt it


n it's like they always come in pairs.

n now i can only pray that love will prove me wrong.

Monday, February 21, 2011

let the bodies hit the floor

it's 4.35am

i can't slp

i am tired

i am confused

i don't know who to pray to

n i want to die

Matthew 11:28 Come unto Me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

fuck u simin, u're nt that great



fuck u

Monday, February 14, 2011


lost it a little today.

didn't know it until much later when i started to spiral out of control

everyone starts to message me n i got a little confused.

den e things u said started going on in a little replay mode.

it usually wldn't hurt but it's exceptionally painful n loud now.

i can't rmb e words exactly, but it's painful

still a little irrational now

indulging in self pity. loads of it.

this is bad.

Thursday, February 10, 2011


(李清照 《武陵春》)

Wednesday, February 02, 2011

revelation @ 4.55am

at 4.55am

i had a revelation...

u shldve known better

than again, call it a woman's instinct.

e surprising thing is that i dun really feel much at all.

maybe all along, i wasn't really expecting much out of this.

i'm getting used to the jokes n what nots.

n ultimately what i needed to sort out was that stubborn feeling in my heart.

now i know that i can control these

the path in front of me seems clearer

all along my head n heart had been working fine

if it worked once, it'll definitely work again

and finally i decided that i wasn't lying to myself anymore =)