Friday, October 30, 2009

i think i've been losing it these days.

just yest was enough...

this is hard to bear...

but i'm hopeful that it will end soon.

pls just let it end soon :(

maybe i shld just check into IMH... woots

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

and den u keep asking urself

everyone is doing e same thing

everyone is facing e same amt of shit

why is it that u have to be different?

why aren't u able to cope?

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

3 am, it's when i think of ways i can just kill myself.

there's this overwhelming self pity.... it is scaring me.

den it whispers to me.

"why are u living..."

i don't know...

"it's so tiring isn't it..."

i noe.. it is...

"end it all..."

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

i did a really stupid thing

and i didn't mean it when i said it.

but still....

i'm just really sorry.

Thursday, October 15, 2009


simin is stupid, because she tried to act smart.


nxt time. just go straight to e point pls.

failing is not the end, it is failing to stand up that's e end
so what if there's this problem all along. this fucking problem hogging me and not letting me go..

it's not like i didn't try. i try. hard. every single day to breathe.

and yet it still has to come and bug me every once in a while.

persistant bitch.

why are there no solutions to this problem?

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

i would like to say

what the fuck.


my rmmate, my nie mate.

both of which i have no obligation to be nice to, since both i dun really like.

farnnie how i've been living with her for almost 2 years, and we share so much secrets. oh wait. it's her secrets. i dun share mine with her. since she openly doesn't like most of my other friends that i'm close to. like i'm exclusive to her. she can fuck herself and die.

i dun like her. still. for e fucking things that she does. for her irresponsibility towards herself and others.

so what if i'm e fucking wayang queen and i dun like to say things directly. if i had to be direct, it wouldnt be nice. at all.

fucked up bitch. if u think u noe me very well. think again. ur judegement of ppl is really screwed.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009


There is a saying that the earth upon which we fall is the same ground which enables us to push ourselves up again. There's another which maintains that barley grows better after it has been trampled on. Human relationships are sometimes painful, but there is no such pain from which we cannot recover. It is up to us to decide to live a life free from self-doubt and despair in spite of our failures. Indeed, it is during our most humbling moments that we should show greatest poise and grace. Then the dignity of our lives will truly shine.

i think, religion gives her alot of hope. ignoring the fact that their ultimate aim is to achieve world peace in the end.

i think religion gives her hope to move past tragic events in her life. to keep her strong and calm in the face the worst that life has to "offer". in fact, 12 years of knowing her, i've never seen her cry. at all, despite all that she's facing. she's never blamed anyone or life. she just lived. for passion, for her family, for her friends. she just lived life to e fullest.

if there's a embassidor they need for living life to e fullest, i think she fully qualifies for that. without doubt.

she gives me hope. always.

Monday, October 12, 2009

there must be something really really wrong with me.

if i keep complainin abt ppl, den i think e fault lies in me, not?

Sunday, October 11, 2009








上を向いて歩こう (I shall walk looking up)
涙がこぼれないように (so my tears won't fall)

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

at 3am, u kinda lose ur mind & hope u'll die...

i think minds weren't made to stay awake till 3am in the morning.

but it's also late in e night where u get to actually reflect about ur life. ur life that has just past within e last 24 hrs.

u ask urself what's wrong with the things u've done today to deserve that kind of crap u get from ur friends.

i mean 2 within a day just makes u wonder if u're one of e worst asses in e world.

maybe i do get a little pushy overzealous and fucking self centered sometimes.

oh fuck this.

i shld just slp.

Sunday, October 04, 2009


it was 20 mins of screaming at my brother for the upteem time on why he's not using the method that i taught him and which worked for him as well.

and then i watched him cry & sob uncontrollably.

and i tot to myself. humans must be e stupidest animals on e world to get themselves so upset over their studies.

whoever said that the responsibility of students was to study is a pile of shit head.

there must be more than life to this.

this is definitely not gd for e kids.

no wonder we are all getting screwed.

recess wk

i wonder if there'll be a day

when i'll become so dellusional that i'll take my own life

the chances of anything happening at all is just like e probability of u getting knocked down by a car.

but then again there are ppl who do get knocked down by cars. like one sunny day. like any other normal day.

what makes u desperate enough to take ur own life?
when u have nthing to lose? or when u have nthing to gain?

my recess wk was a little screwed. i think i slpt for a wk. or maybe it was all a dream...

i think funerals are like this little sacred places where time just stops. where everyone is like black and white. time ceases to exist. and i guess with that, emotions are numbed too. surrealism in nostalgic way.

i'm sorry i cldn't meet up with u faith. i miss u loads. :(

Friday, October 02, 2009

if we studied this for LEP, we wld have all gotten As. XD


  既弱冠,冠希携巨资而入梨园为伶,未几,声名鹊起,名动香江,粉丝甚众。香江梨园,佳丽甚众,纯女熟妇,万紫千红,环肥燕瘦,婆娑婀娜,浅笑 轻颦,极尽瑰姘。冠希见之,怅恨良久,叹曰:“不入此间,不知天下佳丽何其多也!吾必一一御之!”左右皆笑,以为妄言,冠西太息曰:“嗟乎,燕雀安知鸿鹄 之志哉?!”
  时有丽姝曰钟氏欣桐者,或谓之“阿娇”。冠希见之,曰“吾必御之!” 或曰:“此女甚纯,常自比贞女烈妇,恐不可得也!” 冠希笑曰:“以貌取人,失之子羽。诸君徒知其貌,安知其底?!吾且为诸君尝之,诸君但作壁上观,温酒以待吾归!”遂入阿娇金屋,倾而,执阿娇亵衣以归,而 镬酒尚温,左右皆拜服!或赞曰:“温酒之间,斩将夺旗,古有云长,今有冠希!”
  冠西好画,尤嗜春宫,其御百女,皆以相机摄之,存之电脑,或邀朋共阅,或举杯独赏。后电脑崩坏,与修,冠西春宫遂泄。好事者闻之,以千金购 之,散于网上,遂天崩地裂,百兽惊惶,中外侧目,香江鼎沸。夷人闻之,皆惊曰:“中国者,冠带之国,礼仪之邦,圣人之所在,而蛮荒之所慕也!孰知黄暴若 此!”众女皆自危,或以千金购冠希之头。冠希闻之,急亡之东夷曰美立坚者,不敢复出。世人谓之曰“艳照门”。
  阿娇、柏芝闻事泄,皆惶然。阿娇泣告世人曰:“很傻很天真”。 柏芝之夫霆锋闻之,仰天叹曰:“吾识柏芝三十年矣,孰知其贱若此,反不如芙蓉姐姐也!”遂意欲休之。
  或谓曰:“公何以自断后路?既出梨园,复能何为?”冠希笑曰:“此吾之计也!吾所誓出者,唯香江而已!浩浩中原,煌煌美夷,安得无为?今中原大豪张公纪中,已以千金聘吾饰西门庆矣,得无可乎?” 左右皆服之。

Sie haben Angst

i am PMSing very badly :(