Saturday, May 28, 2005

she left

current status...: i'll miss u....hoW cAn u B GONE, wHeN u r iN my HEART..

she left today.... together with jianglai and a few others... sianx... i'll miss u junjie... take care... sorry i couldn't stay for long.... wonder where is zhuangjing and chenjing... haven seen them for quite a while as well....
very tired now...
sis campfire was today... saw some 4 i ppl... so glad.... wakata... wadeverr
shit...haha... brain nt working...
the camp.... haha... finally someone is injured... admitted to hospital... lye scolded fuck... haha... i bet i won't see him much next time... hate him hate him...lalalala
k box song still in my head... my singing sucks..haha
brain dead..........................................................

~I would have you smile, not grief for those whose time has come

Thursday, May 26, 2005


current status...: DAMN SHIT PISSED

we had 2 "WONDERFUL" days at the camp aimed to BOOST my confidence and my "LOVE" towards nanyang jc.... THIS CAMP ROCKS

since everything in this camp is about me, me and ME ALONE! i shall not waste my 31 bucks and give my sincere feedback regarding this camp.

1. first, i must absolutely comment on the camp instructor mr lye. he is such a "GOOD" instructor that i have nvr seen anyone better then him... he gave us such "CLEAR" instructions & "prepared us so well" for the obstacles that quite a few of my class mates got a shock of their lives when they fell back with the hope that their classmates will do their best to support them. thanks to mr lye! long live mr lye!

HARLOWWWWW, & u actually said sorry halfway through the thing because u forget to teach us a command. U R THE WORSE PIECE LARD I HAF EVER SEEN~!!! nothing is ever me, me & me alone, it takes 2 hands to clap & i bet ur fatty brain cells has not registered this logic no? it is our fault that someone nearly fell and injured themselves BUT... if instructions have been given out PROPERLY, SAFETY PRECAUTIONS TAKEN SERIOUSLY instead of u trying to CLOWN AROUND, nothing of this would have happened. it's not just our fault, maybe it's time for U! OUR DEAR MR LYE to reflect on how successful ur camp is...

2. NO! NO! AND NO ONE! i stress this! can change their personalities within a day. our dear classmate MR "I'M THE FREAKING KING KONG OF THE WORLD"(aka circle) WILL NEVER CHANGE beacuse he has a BIG EGO PROBLEM & PERSONALITY PROBLEM. i paid 31 freakin bucks to listen to him SPEAK ROT. THANK U VERY MUCH NANYANG! u r too naive to think that he will change because of this... in fact.. i think he enjoyed the attention very much... it wasn't his courage that needed applauding, it was he ego that needed deflating...

3. I WILL NOT TOLERATE PEOPLE --> ESP STUPID DUMB LAME CRAP IDIOT CAMP INSTRUCTORS TO COMMENT ON MY LIFE! u do not train perserverance through brute strength! what the hell were u thinking my dear mr lye pitting 2 guys against 2 girls?! thanks to u i nearly paralyzed my right arm.SEXIST IDIOTS! and because i couldn't push pass the 2 guys to get my goal which i didn't even bother to clip on their shirts, some stupid camp instructor actually commented that if i dun push hard enuff my life will be like what i'm treating this game now!?!?!? WTF!!!! HOW ENCOURAGING! AND HOW WRONG!

my life does not consist of brute strength & violence alone... we're living in a civilised 21st century! HARLOW PPL WAKE UP! if perserverance can be trained thru ur oh so superior method, them maybe the whole of singapore should do this blocker and pusher shit activity so that we can strive to be a more flowery garden city huh! and U HAF NO RIGHT! NO RIGHT TO COMMENT ON HOW MY LIFE WILL BE LIKE BECAUSE OF WHAT U SEE! to JUDGE people based on what u first see is PURE STUPIDITY, PURE BIASENESS & PURE PIG-HEADEDNESS! i shall nt and nvr rely on brute strength but on mental strength... obviously our dear mr lye, due to his fats in his brain cells has once again failed to see that mental strength is the one that counts in this society, not brute strength! stupid lard!



~I would have you smile, not grief for those whose time has come

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Galadriel: "I amar prestar aen. Han mathon ne nen. Han mathon ne chae. A han noston ne 'wilith. "
Translation: "The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the air."

Arwen: "Frodo, im Arwen. Telin le thaed. Lasto beth nin, tolo dan na ngalad."
Translation: "Frodo, I am Arwen. I've come to help you. Hear my voice, come back to the light."

Arwen: "A si i-Dhuath u-orthor, Aragorn. U or le a u or nin."
Translation: "The shadow does not hold sway yet, Aragorn. Not over you, and not over me."

Arwen: "Renich i lu erui govannem?"
Aragorn: "Nauthannen i ned ol reniannen."
Arwen: "Gwennin in enninath. U-arnach in naeth i si calech. Renich i beth i pennen?"

Arwen: "Do you remember the time when we first met?"
Aragorn: "I thought I had strayed into a dream."
Arwen: "Long years have passed. You did not have the cares you carry now. "Do you remember the word I told you?"

O mor henion i dhu:Ely siriar el silaAi! Aniron UndomielTiro! El eria e mor.I lir en el luitha uren.Ai! Aniron...

Translation: From darkness I understand the night:dreams flow, a star shinesAh! I desire EvenstarLook! A star rises out of the darkness.The song of the star enchants my heart.Ah! I desire...

~I would have you smile, not grief for those whose time has come
gt this frm my sis blog... man u rock sister power! haha! stya crazy always!

recently, the yeos have gone nuts.maybe the drinks got contaminated.hmmm..let's check it out.

case study 1:
crazy nut miss yeo she's gone crazy.laughing like nobody's business during chem.nobody got business only casino have.hehes.this is what she says:meano peano.bahhs.i thought i had enuff of thinking liao.then she sent another atomic bomb.that makes it two atomic bombs.history repeats itself huh.bleahs.whines* lousy nut.see must go through the trauma m so scared.hah like real.poooo.nvm lah.see how lor...somebody play music.. que sera sera whatever will be will be..huh.. what's she toking abt.there she goes again.crapping like nobody's i said.nobody has got business.. only the casino.

case study 2:
mr yeo..i got nut-ing to saythis boy has gone crazy too.he's got a pet mouse.according to miss yeo.the boy was seen walking round the house pulling the wire of the computer mouse thinking that it is his pet mouse.apparently.he has abandoned his mouse near the fish tank.
the reason being: the mouse was thirsty.

he's got a new pet.a pet bee.the one u see flying ard after not rainbow is BEE.rainbee perhaps...he has specially chosen a high class enclosure for his pet bee- a 500 ml ice mt is escape- has no ventilation holes.the pet bee died today.a funeral attended only by mr yeo was held immediately.according to mr yeo he has buried the rainbee in his sister's potted plant. crazy nut.nut is an all time favourite snack.he should be sent to the casino as a snack.hahs.

bio test in 13 hours.

i've got a lovely bunch of coconuts.didilydidily.
~I would have you smile, not grief for those whose time has come


against the odds one man will rise~ kingdom of heaven

~ur soul is in ur keeping, when u stand before god u cannot say that i was told by others to do thus or that virtue was not convenient at that time. this will not suffice..

how can u be in hell, when u're in my heart...

soooo... orlando is cute... and his voice is as husky as ever... but that's orlando... not balin or wadever his name was... the movie's official website was not working so couldn't read up much.. he's still new i guess... give him some time.. but yeah... the kingdom of heaven was like lord of the rings the return of the king part, but now u haf legolas, not aragon as the lead.... minus the cool arrow, sauve look and blue eyes of legolas... even the towers used for attacking jerusulum were the same... exact replicas... what can i say... orlando can never be viggo and legolas can never be aragon...

forgive me my spelling sucks..
had yet to give the people promoting their religion at my house a piece of my mind... my mum gave them hers so that should suffice i guess.... but i just wanted to debate with them... to see who's faith will quiver first.. and i wanted to get even with them for disturbing my beauty sleep. i mean it... twice they woke me up and they did not go away... wad pieces of lards...
call it religious untolerance... but to have people blurting out suddenly saying that god will love them... are they really that pious? what propells them to spread their religion?
what makes u believe in a religion? what gives u faith... i guess that's something i won't know since i'm a free thinker.... well not actually... a taoist i guess... like i even know how to pray..

rubbish thoughts again...

my mind is an asshole, a toilet bowl... haha... random poem generator?

i wonder what everyone's doing now.....
junjie will be going back to china soon, so will the others... zhuang jing, jiang lai, chen jing...
do they think of me? or i'm the only stupid one pining for them?
haha... and julia too.. melissa, amy plus others in the back row... wad bout sha? gerald? lynn?(bet she's having so much fun now in RJC)

oh well...

smile.... that's wad keeps me going... jus smile ur toubles away... and i miss u...

~I would have you smile, not grief for those whose time has come

Monday, May 23, 2005

let's see

1) Cut and paste this meme onto your blog.
2) Bold whatever is true of you.

I can decently speak more than three languages (dialect counts as one!).
I can speak my dialect.
I live with my grandparents.
I've never cross-dressed before.
I personally know someone who died/was hospitalised of SARS.
I had SARS.
I don't know how to play mahjong.
I don't know how to play Blackjack.
I can decently play more than three instruments (and no, the recorder is not).
I have spent more than $200 on an item before.

My preferences:
I do not hate pink.
I usually support the bad guys.
I wish I could change my gender.
Japanese cars over continental cars.
Channel U over Channel 8.
Today over Straits Times.
Kino over Borders.
Film fests over Hollywood.

My sch life:
I hate RI.
I think pai kias are cool.
I passionately love an academic subject (I'm a nerd in disguise!).
I was not from the Express stream.
I took Higher mother tongue.
I was never a class rep/comm member/prefect.
I have had more than 3 CCAs at one time.
I did things just for CCA points.
I got 10 points or less for my L1R5.
I never pon class before.
I never got booked before.
I was the teacher's pet.
I loved my school library.
I think inter-fac/house events are a waste of time.
I liked/like social studies.
For primary school, I prefer to be in a single-sex school.
For secondary school, I prefer to be in a single-sex school.
I had/have a crush on a teacher.

My leisure time:
I have never gone clubbing before.
I have never watched a Korean drama before.
I've watched 15 before.
I am a fan of one or more local bands.
I love J-rock.
Screw the Oscars.
I confess. I like some of Britney Spears's songs.
My favourite hangout is Orchard.
I have travelled to all continents.
I prefer Sly over Taufik.

My political leanings:
I support the PAP.
I think we should have the casino.
If I had the chance, I want to join the government.
And as the opposition.
I think the government should legalise firearms.
I hope that one of LKY's grandchildren does not become our prime minister.
I believe that we should have complete freedom of speech.
I'm anti-Mahathir.
I'm anti-Bush.
I did not support the Iraqi War.
I seriously believe that Singapore and Malaysia should again consider merger in the future.

~I would have you smile, not grief for those whose time has come
current status...: chocolatety

yesh...wadever... shouldn't b eatin choco in e middle of the nite like @ ard 3.30 but who cares... stupid ltc making me paranoid! haha... gd news! i passed NAPfa! no afternoon PEs... achieved a 163 cm after the 3 rd jump *hugs myself* i love everyone who was there with me! esp QT~! thanks! i shall work hard to pass the nxt standing broad jump with ease...

things which i didn't do which makes me wanna bash up myself
1. i forgot his bday! no nt this his, is that his! CAN U BELIEVE! stupid bday calander... urghs... shucks... i shall send him a belated one i guess... so srry my dear.... just hope u'll accept my greetings
2. haven revised! stupid hmwrk and lectures nts piling up. not done, not read thru... stupid idiot me... i hate jc life! wadever...haha.. so lame >.<
3. i have sudden urges or spams to just walk out of the sch and pon smthing... like this wks camp. i seriously would rather do smthing more... interesting... like day dreaming... revising... playing red alert....
4. i am still thinking of him... not the previous him but another him who pissed me off... guilty? or is it a sign tt i like him?! EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW *vomits out my guts...* or maybe it's this weird feeling of being so straightforward in severing ties with another fren w/o feeling all mushy and wishy washy or guilty has made me very proud of myself... therefore... i shall flaunt it * flaunts flaunts* hahaha... did i detect a sense of guilt?
5. i am a paranoid freak cus i can't trust anyone... a slightest thing they do that goes off course... i'll like condemn them as if they've committed a treasonous act... i think i need to deflate my ego... i'm starting to be complacent.....

i think the 5 items are enuff to sentence me to a lifetime of paralysis...haha... wadever.. metal tortue i guess...

all is well... life's ok... muz study i guess... couldn't care more abt anything else...

~I would have you smile, not grief for those whose time has come

Thursday, May 19, 2005


current status...: headache
i need to catch up with my life... i've been pushing things to the back of my mind... running away running away... that's wad i've been doiing all along anyway...
anyway... yar... give thanks to following ppl who have helped me...
julia... for just being there
faith for helping with lots of weird stuff and for me to bully...haha
qt for being just qt haha...
haix... and lots of ppl....
i dun noe... dun really think much.... just this emptiness inside.... but it's mch better den getting depressed... oh well... cheerios....

~I would have you smile, not grief for those whose time has come

Monday, May 09, 2005


current status...: slight guilt

yar... feel guilty for leaving him behind so early but the problem was that we weren't doing anything.

~I would have you smile, not grief for those whose time has come

Thursday, May 05, 2005


current status...: hahaha... haven finish hmwrk bleahx

Your Birthdate: March 31
Your birthday suggests that you are a good organizer and manager, an energetic and dependable worker; attributes often showing success in the business world.
Serious and sincere, you have the patience and determination necessary to accomplish a great deal.

Your approach can be original, but often rigid and stubborn.
Sensitivity may be present, but feeling are likely to be repressed.
You are good with detail and insist on accuracy, but at times scatter energies.

You're a practical thinker, but not without imagination.
You love travel and don't like to live alone.
You should probably marry early, for responsibility is necessary for your stability.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

~I would have you smile, not grief for those whose time has come

i am nobody

current status...: trying to finish hmwrk...GRRR..haha

despite everything that happened today, i feel ok... just abit stressed that i'm not doing my part as a student well enough but i do there'll be something big enough to make an impact on me so that i'll work harder.. morbid..haha
i'm nobody
nobody is perfect
therefore, i'm perfect...
doesn't this sound familiar? in fact people just carry this badge with this interesting twisted fact around. yet why do we even want to be perfect?
~I would have you smile, not grief for those whose time has come

Wednesday, May 04, 2005





current status...: trying to hold my nose in place.. this flu sucks

facade[noun]:an outward appearance, esp one that creates false impression

the question is do we all have one? or maybe some of us just bare our hearts and souls for all to see, no shame no fear... who deserves more applause? one that hides his inner feelings well? or one that does not have a facade...
fascinating isn't it? how a facade can be what others want to see and yet has some thing more that what u see... just like the buldings in china..
have u ever looked at a person and wondered, is this him? or there more to him than what u see? have u ever wondered what is truly inside? and once in a while if u do get a glimpse, most of us would be so shocked because what might appear to be a perfect appearance turns out to have a rotton core. whereas some whom u assume to be rotten to the core turns out to be someone whom u might in time respect? which one do u belong to?
many times when we do catch a glimpse of what is inside, u wonder if what u have just witnessed is true or not. is a trick to make u believe what he wants u to believe? or is it truly some bits and pieces of his inner mind and soul? what is true and what is not? every thing seems to be so blurred... nthing is defined.. u set the boundaries, u follow it. the definitions changes over time as u are exposed to more blood and gore.... just like life, like friendship, u can't expect it to last, what u can do, is just to cherish what is left of it and hold on to whatever that is available to make this friendship last. yet most importantly, u should make sure that what u are holding on to is not a dellusion, a dream of what used to be, what is present, and what will be... things don't work out that way.. it just doesn't..
for once in life, i found peace, i found me... however, nt sure how long this peace will last... i'm no longer troubled... let things be as it is... if u have tried ur best to change it but nothing budges, why tire urself out?
maybe this is a sign of realism..
don't know why.. troubled over BGR? maybe... hah.. childish me.. but maybe cus it's a trend... that's why i'm affected... but i shouldn't change... to change for the sake of this... i can't afford a revolution. let things come, let the wind bring me whatever it wants to... i leave it up to wind... let it come.. let it come..
i smile to myself...... i'm free..

~I would have you smile, not grief for those whose time has come