Monday, December 31, 2007

let me sing ur song to slp

i'm sick!!! LOVE SICK! & e whole big freakin pt is i'm nt even in love!!!
or maybe i'm nt love sick. anyway, if u watch peter pan, jeremy sumpter is cute. but his wendy has a really wide mouth. she looks pretty frm some angles though. but guys seem to get uglier when they get older... I'M A PAEDOPHILE!!!

e sch is weird, i don't noe anyone there, e sch is small, e buffet wasn't as nice.
oh well. i'm looking forward to my work laptop! heh

it surprises me, how 2 ppl frm 2 different worlds can meet out of the so many millions of ppl living here, have so much fun & den stop all contacts all together. maybe it's like they always say in e movies. it's like as if it's a dream. but somehow they stay on u. one way or another. i know he'll say tt it's part of his plan, but for me, i always believe it to be a part of affinity.

so let me sing ur song to slp.

Saturday, December 29, 2007




why do we take so long to apologise & hesitate to help?
because we try to shrug it off.
because we don't feel guilty enough.

Friday, December 28, 2007

Benazir Bhutto

"The subcontinent has lost an outstanding leader who worked for democracy and reconciliation in her country,"

Benazir Bhutto
21 June 1953 – 27 December 2007

"I find that whenever I am in power, or my father was in power, somehow good things happen. The economy picks up, we have good rains, water comes, people have crops. I think the reason this happens was that we want to give love and we receive love."

so christmas is over & new year's coming. once more, i've missed out e one chance to go to st andrew's cathedral when i went to city hall more than once durin e christmas period. guess wad, smthings are just nt fated. haha
anyway, the grinch is a nice show! where dr seuss attempts to tell us that xmas is more den giving presents. but heck, i've already use xmas as a reason to buy myself a $27 notebk & eat gd food.
THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING TO MEEE! i'm actually spending more den i'm earning!!!
i've sworn tt i shall nt buy anything except necessities & eat cheap fd during my teaching stint in BEDOK.
& yes, despite dr seuss telling us presents r nt THAT important. having someone giving u cheapskate 10 yrs old pasar malan stuff means more than just e "present" alone cus we don't see sincerity, we don't see remorse, so since christmas is the time to forgive & forget. i shall forget such a gift & person even existed.

anyway, my lovely young brother loved e crystal heart so much tt he has carefully stashed it somewhere together with his other "treasures". o.o i swear tt no matter wad happens, i will nvr send him to maris stella.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007


Thankful - Josh Groban

Somedays we forget
To look around us
Somedays we can't see
The joy that surrounds us
So caught up inside ourselves
We take when we should give.

So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be.
And on this day we hope for
What we still can't see.
It's up to us to be the change
And even though we all can still do more
There's so much to be thankful for.

Look beyond ourselves
There's so much sorrow
It's way too late to say
I'll cry tomorrow
Each of us must find our truth
It's so long overdue

Even with our differences
There is a place we're all connected
Each of us can find each other's light

So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be
And on this day we hope for
What we still can't see
It's up to us to be the change
And even though this world needs so much more

There's so much to be thankful for

Friday, December 21, 2007

school posting ARGHHHH!!!

I AM POSTED TO BEDOK!!! yar yar i retook my kindergarten school leaving examinations aka KSLE & was posted to BEDOK!!! URGH!
apparently bedok is just half and hrs bus ride away but u know... BEDOK!!!! it is so damn far tt i classify it under e category of e unreachables, just next to woodlands marsiling.
oh man this is killing me. but like ms yu dan said, i must take everything in a positive light.

recently, yudan is my new fav. HURHUR. some how, sitting there listen to smone give holy talk makes u feel holy too. i been out of touch with chinese for too long. which suxs cus i don't even know how to write chinese characters. ARHHHHHHHHHHH!

if u've managed to read till this paragraph, u must really love me alot cus i think i'm writing shit. as an EDUCATOR, THOU SHALL NT SWEAR, BUT WHAT DA HELL. oh god. kids these days r even more well versed in sex den i am so heck, they already hurl e word fuck at teachers at pri 2 lvl already, dun be surprised if they have sex before 10yrs old. i've already given up on e nxt generation. they creep e hell out of me. which is y i want to marry a korean, & give birth to a korean baby.

& i've been living such a carefree life with my last months as a teenager. 19 OMFG & nxt year i'll be a goner. i think everyone will hate me cus i'll be a civil servant. so it means that ur taxes will be my salary. HEH HEH HEH. don't u hate me now?
anyway, i still don't get e big deal abt global warming. if e earth dies, everyone dies, big deal. no one is really THAT concerned abt global warming yet. we print on millions of paper each day to remind others to stop e cuttin down of trees. we spends millions setting up a conference of how we can "improve global economy" & at the same time hope to go green to save e earth. i'm like WTF???!!! OH THE IRONY.
u either give up e economy or give up e earth. so honestly, stop e big talk abt protecting e earth. it's really bullshit.

say bye bye to our jerboa, isn't he a cute little thing? he hops, & he lives in e desert too. i dun noe why but when i see cute things, i feel like eating them. HEH

Saturday, December 15, 2007



they always say
put urself in someone else's shoes.

but of course i don't think anyone does tt
cus we tend to knowingly/unknowingly put ourselves first before others
& cus e shoe stinks.

yet when we constantly go thru e cycle of hate, forgiveness, or nt really forgiving nor forgetting, what we do, as a mechanism of self defense, or as a justification of hate, will keep living in e past at that specific point of time, when someone has failed us or just pissed us off.

we're always e victims, so why shld we forgive?

yet it is also for myself tt i realise, tt forigiving is such a hard thing to do. it's like in e supposedly eighteen lvl hell where e sinned will relive e most painful moment again & again & again & again.

e feeling suxs.

so let me try to find a reason to forgive ur ignorance, ur pathetic-ness, ur temper, ur unreasonable demands, ur greed, ur vanity & all

& take u as who u r, as what i see,

cus ur shoes stinks & so does mine too. XD

happy pms-ing, YANG SA MIN.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Voici mon secret - u're truly loved & not alone

my english is teh suxs. i haven update my blog, in a very intellectual way for what seems like years. damn even the previous sentence sounds wrong. TEACH ME ENGLISH PPL!

oh btw, have u wondered how businessmen survive overseas with such a small luggage. i just saw this businessman effortlessly pulling his bag into e check-in area with this damn friggin puny luggage and a passport in his hand while we were lugging our 5 bulky baggages & still feel like we haven't brought enough underwears, bras or shirts or wadever e shit. doesn't he need to bring extra clothes? wad abt underwear? i mean briefs? pyjamas? besides business meetings is he naked e rest of e time? HUH HUH HUH???

rich ppl drink a cup of hot coco for $48++ at e chocolate buffet & den ask for e bill.
rich ppl dun pee when they eat chocolate buffet.
i think rich ppl dun wear underwear. they wear gold plated diapers so they dun dare to pee in case they spoil their gold plated diapers.
i think rich ppl are screwed.

HEH. cus i'm nt rich. WHEEEE.


u noe e thing abt some friends. is that after knowing each other & sharing with them wad's really inside ur heart till e point where u're constantly thinking abt them & u can almost predict their behaviour that that ur friend becomes sort of a "lifestyle". it essentially becomes a part of who u've become which makes it so easy for u to feel at ease with each other without feeling tt time has passed between us. that we can just sit anywhere & start talking abt e ppl that have passed us by. & that once we start talking, we wld share our fears & relieve our burdens & laugh or cry abt what could have been or shld have been.

& when we part @ e end of e day, we'll feel energised to face new challenges in life, & know tt we're truly loved & not alone.

Voici mon secret. Il est très simple: on ne voit bien qu'avec le cœur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux.
Here is my secret. It is very simple: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Monday, November 26, 2007


HAHAHA! ciao!



i m currently hooked on to...

華麗なる一族 (木村 拓哉/成宮 寛貴)

花ざかりの君たちへ aka 花樣少年少女 (小栗旬)

HERO (木村 拓哉/ 松たか子)

2046 (木村 拓哉 etc)

Taegukgi: the Brotherhood of War (won bin/Jang Dong Gun)
HAHAAHA. 帅哥帅哥everywhere!

ja mata! 26 Nov - 3 Dec 2007

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

i'm srry to disappoint

i think working & earning my own money has made me realise tt things dun really come as easy as i expect it to be.

and it has made me less apologetic to e world

in fact, i don't think i owe u anything

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You are calm and rational person with a good deal of balance in your life.
Friends consider you to be kind, caring, and truly loyal.
You are easy going and trusting. However, you are too sensible to fall for mind games.
Open to the world, you are not afraid to be yourself.

If you don't get enough sleep, you are: Able to cope

It's hard to sleep next to you because: You're a bed hog

haha, quite true for e last part, i hog e bed, even my sister's one XD okkkaayyy, i was supposed to feel guilty XD hehehehe

Thursday, November 15, 2007

my shrink says get a life

my shrink (actually it's just my colleague lar, HAHA) tells me to get a bf before i become a full time teacher. but my point is, ISIT TT EASY???

anyway, i've this habit of talking to myself, in my head, alot. so i wld hear myself screaming to myself everyday, HELLO, AREN'T U DEAD YET? ARE U DEAD YET?? but of course this wld also be referring to some of e dearest ppl i know as well.

& my lovely korean kid has been getting into his mood swings lately. my sis thinks my relationship with him is getting to be all kinda of weird cus it's like bf & gf quarreling. HAHA. heck. he's just becoming more attention seeking. i think studying overseas makes u all kuku in e head.

but honestly, i'm nt really e social kind of shit. i stay @ home & play computer games. & learn hiragana, which i've been learning for e past few months while others take just wks. heck, i've been BUSY playing ok??

damn, someone just date me for badminton and make me happy lar.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

homeland & ctry of residence

when conducting a NE survey today with my students today, my form teacher was asking e students abt e 5 NE messages in Singapore and if they strongly agreed with it.

when it came to e part of...
We must ourselves defend Singapore.

my korean student enthusiastically raised up his hand because he said tt singapore is a beautiful place & this is where he's living now.

"what if korea attacked singapore? wld u still defend singapore?"
his hands froze in midair and he became troubled.

"i'll go tell korea nt to attack Singapore lor" he said with uncertainty

"u think so easy meh" his singaporean partner sitting nxt to him mocked him

i asked him again,
"what if singapore attacks korea? wld u help singapore or korea?"
he started to lower his hands...

"aiyar! dun confuse him lar." my form teacher cut in before i cld say anymore and counted him as strongly agree to We must ourselves defend Singapore.
we have foreigners coming into singapore everyday, even more receiving singapore citizenship once they do well for their exams. "singapore is where we call home" or seemingly patriotic headlines as such are splashed across the news papers as they interview families after families of foreigners.
yet there's always one thing in common
it's always the govt they praise, the clean environment of our "garden city" blah blah blah

of course they like singapore, they're earning big bucks! the govt is granting citizenship like it's no big deal , & life here is better.
who cares abt singaporeans living in the lower end of the income line? we're just going to die off someday. why bloody hell care? *snorts*

Sunday, November 11, 2007

it's like...

sometimes i wld just be hit by pangs of fear, & then this inner voice telling me, u see, eventually, u'll be alone....

it's just as e lyrics said
Because I don't know you anymore
I don't recognise this place
The picture frames have changed
And so has your name
We don't talk much anymore

How do you redefine something that never really had a name?

Has your opinion changed?

paboo songsaenim

it's only when u feel that u've done enough is when u've not done enough
& when u actually think that u're the most decent human being ard, u're actually an asshole.

so judging from e "equation" that i've formed above, everything is always the opposite of what u truly are.
which is what i feel is the "truth" to how this sucky lovely world functions.

so using the equation above, this is what i think of myself...
i am an asshole
i tried my best for my A lvls.

wadever.... i hate being a woman with PMS. wtf. can we just be females without e fluctuating hormonal periods shits and live our lives happy without e freaking mood swings?
whoever said tt humans are e cleverest of all things made by god must be an asshole.
animals don't self multilate
animals don't declare war on each other using nuclear weapons
animals don't cause environmental damage to the earth
animals don't study books, take exams and as a result die of exams
animals can have multiple sex partners and be homosexual without flouting any laws in e animal kingdom.
animals don't play badminton. so they don't feel depressed.

so u noe wad, e creation of humans was a big mistake.
and yar lar, i'm feeling depressed cus my badminton skills suck & thus i embarrass myself in front of my colleagues. AND THIS REASON IS SO STUPID TT U SHLD LAUGH AT ME. HAHA

and i don't noe how to improve my engrish. suxs man. i'm finding a thousand and one reasons to be depressed. HAHA

and my cbox is outdated. depressed again.

and i haven't bought my laptop. depressed again.

so meanwhile, i'm spent my depressing PMS days playing with sims2, going extra high when i ctrl my sims to have affairs, get burnt and die frm e fire, get eaten up by plants, i really have nthing else to do.

and i haven't learnt korean yet!!! i can't communicate with my korean kid!!! so far frm my few crash courses i've attended by forcing my kid to teach me a korean word before i speak to him, i've only learnt
1. bo-go-ship-da - i miss u
2. pae-go-pa - hungry
3. sa-rang-hae - i love u
4. song sae nim - teacher
5. ah puh - pain
6. an-ja - sit
7. chu-yong-yi-hae - keep quiet
8. pa-boo -stupid
9. chae-bal - please
10. chu-sae-yoh - please give me
11. kamsahamnida - thank you
12. gung gang ha sae yoh - be healthy
13. chin-gul - friend
14. yak suk - promise
15. anneonghasaeyoh - hello

it is now 3.00am. i have 1 more wk of employment. i am officially insane.

Friday, November 09, 2007

i am happy

the only good thing abt being crazy, is tt u're narcissitic, & that being narcissitic will somehow make u see light in this world.

i am happy

i am happy

i am happy


btw, anyone interested in buying the 3 LORD OF THE RINGS extended version vcd???!!! i'm desperate for a buyer!!! PLEASEEEE HELP!

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

damn shit u r

at least now i know it's nt my fault.


thank you LORD of telling me the TRUTH.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

THE Right Brain vs Left Brain test

THE Right Brain vs Left Brain test ... do you see the dancer turning clockwise or anti-clockwise?

If clockwise, then you use more of the right side of the brain and vice versa.

Most of us would see the dancer turning anti-clockwise though you can try to focus and change the direction; see if you can do it.

uses logic
detail oriented
facts rule
words and language
present and past
math and science
can comprehend
order/pattern perception
knows object name
reality based
forms strategies

uses feeling
"big picture" oriented
imagination rules
symbols and images
present and future
philosophy & religion
can "get it" (i.e. meaning)
spatial perception
knows object function
fantasy based
presents possibilities
risk taking

taken frm here.

Friday, October 26, 2007

atheoi - the "immoral" ones

The Greek word αθεοι (atheoi), as it appears in the Epistle to the Ephesians (2:12) on the early 3rd-century Papyrus 46. It is usually translated into English as "[those who are] without God"

somehow, whenever i recall e things that my friends said to me regarding my beliefs out of contempt, blatant disregard or whatever was in their heads, i just feel alot of anger and hate. i hate ppl who don't understand, i hate ppl who label me.

but in e end, it's all just a pile of junk, unpleasant memories tt i have no wish to keep, but yet cannot forget.

religious issues have been generating alot of buzz & hate globally that u really wonder if they're tt peace loving as they claim to be. religion is evolving, so much so tt ppl are so aggressive when they talk abt it. seems to me like everyone just wants to have their piece of pie. what shld we be saying nxt? i pray for world peace?

"A child of the mob once asked an astronomer who the father was who brought him into this world. The scholar pointed to the sky, and to an old man sitting, and said: 'That one there is your body's father, and that your soul's.' To which the boy replied: 'WHAT IS ABOVE US IS OF NO CONCERN TO US, and I'm ashamed to be the child of such an aged man!' O WHAT SUPREME impiety, not to want to recognize your father, and not to think God is your maker!
Emblem illustrating practical atheism and its historical association with immorality, titled "Supreme Impiety: Atheist and Charlatan", from Picta poesis, by Barthélemy Aneau, 1552.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007


i think when u age a certain age in life, u'll have stop self reflection & lived the way u've lived for e past i-dont-know-how-many years. which make asses worse asses & nice ppl nicer ppl.

i bet i'm nt making sense. i bet i don't make sense most of e time which results in me be always incurring e wrath of some asshole.
which is why i have to learn to be more street smart.
there's no use just ranting & then cursing and swearing @ e source when it doesn't change much of e way i handle e source, which is a troublesome, emotional and always bordering on e verge of insanity.

rebellion doesn't always have to be on e surface. underground guerrilla warfare has always worked in e past, i bet this is gonna work well for me


Monday, October 22, 2007

shut e fuck up

i finally got e courage to watch e channel U show, Shoot aka 有话就说and i hated it to e core.
if u ask me, i think 蔡深江 is a big blardy asshole. big bloody idiotic asshole. and if u ask me why, let me list the funcking reason.

he loves to thumb down teenagers, like he was born an adult & had nvr gone thru e teenage phase. he speaks as if he knows everything about the teenage mentality. in fact, he goes to great lengths to psychoanalyze and twist the mentality of teenagers to the point where teenagers are simply implied to be brats, emo kids, brainless apathetic condescending bunch of useless freaks who cannot express themselves verbally, and have to resort to self mutilation as a form of expression.


i mean seriously if u're tt smart, how come u're just pointing the "blame" at teenagers for being who we are today. u mean what, all of us are some mutated freaks different from ur fucking generation so it's wrong of us to be teenagers? HELLO??!! WAKE UP UR IDEA, who made us into the teenagers we are today who can only express ourselves on blogs? it's e fucking society and to be specific, fuckers like u who love to blame e product for being faulty when u put e batteries in e wrong direction & it's nt working to ur liking.

e fucking society here condemns those who speak, even in more extreme cases, removes the person who speaks more than he's supposed to. think of Mr Brown, think of e few small pathetic protest we have because of e tudung issue, think of e MOST EMBARRASING time when the IMF came to singapore and our generous govt gave a small area located inside a god knows what place for small, non violent protest. THERE IS A FUCKING DESIGNATED AREA FOR PROTEST! HOW INGENIOUS IS TT?? so what can we do? if the government thinks expressing of opinions is fucking harmful to the society, e only way we can be expressive is only through blogs, and if they've successfully dampened our interest in politics and society and made us into apathetic youths, where else can we focus our energy on besides on ourselves?

tell me, how can kids in tt area be apathetic when they can protest abt things tt affect them. THEY HAVE A VOICE WHICH IS HEARD! WE HAVE A FUCKING VOICE WHICH IS LOST A LONG LONG TIME AGO.

so 蔡深江, shut e fuck up honestly. there's so much about youths tt u don't know.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Jesus Camp

Quotes from Becky Fischer a Pentecostal children's pastor

I can go into a playground of kids that don't know anything about Christianity, lead them to the Lord in a matter of, just no time at all, and just moments later they can be seeing visions and hearing the voice of God, because they're so open. They are so usable in Christianity.

If you look at the world’s population, 1/3 of that 6.7 billion ppl are children under the age of 15. Where should we be putting our efforts? Where should we be putting our focus? I’ll tell u where the enemies are putting it, they’re putting it on e kids.

I want to see young ppl who are as committed to the cause of Jesus Christ as the young ppl are to e cause of Islam. I wanna see them as radically laying down their lives for the gospel as they are over in Pakistan, in Israel and Palestine and all those different places you know because we have, excuse me, but we have the truth.

(When preparing for e bible camp) Let’s just walk ard the fuse & stuff, & pray over the seats in the name of Jesus. Father we pray over the electrical systems, we pray the electricity will not go out in this building in Jesus name because of storms or any other reason. Now I just pray over this equipment, we speak over the PowerPoint presentations, all over the video projectors and we’ll say devil we know what you love to do in meetings like this & we say u will not in Jesus name, you will not prevent this msg frm going out.

Levi Parents(when home-schooling Levi.)
Parent: The summers over in US over the past few years have been very warm, as a result, global warming must be real. What’s wrong with this reasoning?

Levi: it’s only got up 0.6 degrees

Parent: Yar it’s not really a big problem isit?

Levi: No, I don’t think it’s gonna hurt us.

Parent to the camera later: Our belief is there are 2 kinds of ppl in the world. People who believe in jesus and ppl who don’t.

Quotes from Mike Papantonio (radio talk show host)

Everything they do, they say they do in the name of God, that we need to go to war in the name of God.

Why are kids taught that global warming doesn’t exist? Ok, why? Look, rape this world, rape this earth, take everything u want because u know what, it doesn’t matter. We’re not here for very long. Christ is coming to take us away from earth so cut down our trees, use all of our oil, take advantage of everything the earth has to offer. That’s y do you hear them getting involve in issues like global warming? And u want to shake them and u wanna say that what is it tt u’re nt understanding abt the fundamentals of Christianity? How did u get here? Our president is still telling Americans we should teach creationism in our schools. That we should teach it right alongside with evolution.

Quotes from Ted Haggard, a former American evangelical preacher

Haggard is a firm supporter of President George W. Bush, and is sometimes credited with rallying evangelicals behind Bush during the 2004 election
(Less than two months after the release of the film, Haggard became embroiled in a high-profile scandal involving, among other things, homosexual prostitution, & methamphetamine possession.)

We believe that you have to emphasis, ppl younger than u in order for ur church in a healthy way. Kids are everything. They love the evangelical msg, god loves them, the bible is the word of god, they are gifts from god. So all the public schools telling them they’re animals, they are the product of natural selection. We tell them god loves u, god created u, u have a purpose in life. I mean the kids are just, loving it.

And so it’s an awful lot of ppl and we’re growing. It’s got enough growth to essentially to sway every election. If the evangelicals vote, they determine the election. It’s a fabulous life!


there was just alot of crying, alot of words like war, spirit, ghost being thrown around. war..

yet despite all these, they r just kids.

and i still think george w bush is a blardy idiot.

Saturday, October 20, 2007



it is now 2am & there's a fire at my block! i repeat: MY BLOCK IS ON FIRE!!!

just rushed down in time to snap a few photos & choke in e stinkin smoke. CAN U BELIEVE IT?! A FIRE AT MY BLOCK? how in e world is tt? HAHAHAHA. and i was there getting so amused with all e residents running down in their PJs, taking photos, coughing & wheezing etc etc etc etc.

and my mum was there calling 995 and then asking them "do we run?"
HAHAHA. i noe i'm nt supposed to laugh, but it's just funny. o.O WHEEEEEEEE

will upload e photos later. as u can see, am extremely high & tired now. bleahx. just excited u noe. i mean u dun get to see fires at ur block everyday. & it's 2am i repeat! HAHA. & it's nt tt big a fire though, just enuff to spread to e 2nd floor. XD

CIAO! tata!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

sometimes, i think i'm slowly losing myself, conforming myself to what is considered a norm in order to "survive" & to just be "happy".

how much of u do i not know.

Monday, October 15, 2007

the irony of being human

i love stupidity... humans r really stupid. face it & see e light. go save urself frm hell.

Friday, October 12, 2007

just so you know

somehow, i've this fear tt all these are just going in e very wrong direction.

but i just want what's e best for u. or maybe us.

when is e line crossed? what have i taught tt is wrong or right? what values r "morally right" & what values r wrong?

who am i sacrificing?

how do i look for all these when u're all gone?

10 yrs later, 10 yrs later, 10 yrs later....

i wld be 29, where wld u be?

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

widdle wabbits

welcome to the widdle wabbits club!

there are many reasons why we love wabbits. because they r nt just cute, but VERY cute.

membership has been overwhelming since e club was first started. in fact, many ppl are frantically trying to join e club at this moment because wabbits are just so irresistible.

considering e history tt we've had with wabbits, e formidable wabbit is nt just an animal which we can ignore. wabbit 万岁!

e official club dance

president: echizen, chee, estel
vice president: echizen, chee, estel
treasurer: echizen, chee, estel
secretary: echizen, chee, estel

echizen, chee, estel, echizen, chee, estel, echizen, chee, estel, echizen, chee, estel, echizen, chee, estel, echizen, chee, estel, echizen, chee, estel, echizen, chee, estel, echizen, chee, estel, echizen, chee, estel, echizen, chee, estel, echizen, chee, estel, echizen, chee, estel, echizen, chee, estel, echizen, chee, estel, echizen, chee, estel, echizen, chee, estel, echizen, chee, estel, echizen, chee, estel

Tuesday, October 09, 2007


i have no idea what is Erratum until today. which shows how sucky my eng is.

and it is a nearby hospital, nt the nearby hospital, if u're referring to it for e first time. XD

recently, i've found e need to constantly remind myself tt i'm only 19. ONLY NINETEEN. nt 20 nor 21.

maybe i shld start planning for my 21st bday. which i'm nt really looking forward to anyway.

e kids are giving me e hell of a time. because they're enjoying life when e exams is near. maybe tt's why parents gets so agitated, & nt e kids, when e exams are coming. it's because they're jealous tt e kids can be so relaxed during e exam period while they get all hyped out. HAHAHA

there's a joke going ard e staffroom recently. because e p3 kids had this compo exam with a pict of currypuffs with hseflies buzzing ard it, meaning to say tt e food is contaminated. but i think they took it literally & started writing abt how they vomited or had diarrhoea after eating "currypuffs with houseflies" or as some say it in a more direct way "HOUSEFLY CURRYPUFFs"


u noe they always have these villains in e movie, chiding e protagonist for being too sentimental or emotional. e sad thing is tt e gd will always triumph over evil in e end so tt all e gd ppl live happily ever after. somehow i pity e villains more. protagonists have such a gd life. they, or in many cases, we know that they'll always survive. somehow..

y be emotional & dreamy abt a rosy future? it's a whole lot of bullshit. like my mum always tells us of her stupid naive dreams of living in a big hse during her retirement years. i hate it when gives me all this whole lot of bullshit abt her retirement in condos, big houses & travelling overseas to european ctries. she says tt i'm too sensitive to all these when i tell her tt she's giving me stress & she shld just snap out of this kind of stupid daydream. which is also why i really hate naive ppl who have complete disregard for reality, ppl who r filthy rich & take it for granted.

it's like when i don't work, i'll have these panic attacks of nt having enough money for my future, or e fact tt i'm nt earning money because i'm sick makes me so fuckingly stressed up tt i hate being brought up this way with these kind of fucked up mentality. i'm really nt tt poor. i'm nt tt in need of money either. i don't want to b a fucking miser. i don't want to feel stressed up over every cent i spent. i dont' want to feel guilty if i spend more than i shld. i don't know... i guess deep down, really really deep down inside me, i'm just secretly hoping tt i can make her dreams become reality.

guess it's just a materialistic wish huh...


i believe tt's e only way to survive "successfully"

just detach. & nthing will be there.

fuck it all.

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Losing Hope

This was an opportunity for them to express themselves for the first time after 20 years. Their eyes are on the international community, their only hope is that the world will see their plight and help them.

But when they hear that support for the demonstrations is dwindling and time passes by without help from anyone, they lose hope. They are getting disillusioned and eventually they'll give up.

"There is no peace in this world," she said. "There is just strife, strife, strife, and I want it to stop."


i know i shldn't...

but i've been missing alot of ppl lately.

especially e times in cedar. seniors who have left, succesfully graduated frm universities & are in other parts of e world now...

i wonder if they rmb me. that there was once this person, all crazy & melancholy. that there was once this person, & she's thinking of u right now.

there r ppl who still think tt teaching is a dead end job. in many ways yes... salary's nt high, parents r nt cooperative, workload sucks, but i guess i just have to hold on... for the things i first started believing in..

~thought u shld know, i tried my best to let go of u, but i don't want to...

Saturday, October 06, 2007

this invisible dream...

something out there... is calling for me...

take me now...

The trial record demonstrates her remarkable intellect. The transcript’s most famous exchange is an exercise in subtlety. “Asked if she knew she was in God’s grace, she answered: ‘If I am not, may God put me there; and if I am, may God so keep me.‘” The question is a scholarly trap. Church doctrine held that no one could be certain of being in God’s grace. If she had answered yes, then she would have convicted herself of heresy. If she had answered no, then she would have confessed her own guilt.

~ Joan of Arc

there's no need to fight e inevitable... we just have to take what comes & let go of what has to go.

it's so ironic, because what we've learnt in school, morals, blah blah blah blah, doesn't really come in much in my daily life. we learn about responsibilities, about taking responsibilities for our own action, yet when we start working, we learn how to push away responsibilities, we start to learn how to cover up our asses to avoid being pushed e blame. e ironies...

& i hate e system, really... can't i just tell u tt i hate e system? if we're supposed to do what's best for a child, doesn't that include advising them what's best at e expense of ur school's reputation? what shld come first?

btw, i'll be going away on a long long trip during e sch hols! hahaha. like finally we can go somewhere that is nt just 3D2Ns kinda of thing. but money still remains a constrain. wadever.

Friday, October 05, 2007

examination in progress

this is what i look like to my students.

this is my brother trying to "fry the ant" which is too small to be captured on my lousy hp camera on e table in e hawker centre

this is my insane "roommate" trying to wrap a toy bear with e new lacy underwear tt mummy dear bought for us.... o.o we all miss our childhood days of dressing up dolls... in clothes i mean. XD
the end result was somehow... more normal den we expected. :)

for those who haven't seen me for a long while & 've forgotten how what i look like, this is me feeling narcissistic

& here's a happy belated children's day to all, including adults with their inner child still alive & kicking, to all kids, beautiful, normal & nt normal alike. we love u. always. XD

my children's day gift! WHEEEE! frm my teacher! haha, reason y i love to teach in my alma matta.
meanwhile, i'm currently sick.. yes... again. i've been falling ill alot recently.
my status as shown below...

toodle's XD

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