Friday, July 29, 2011

of lonliness and being alone

it's been a while photoshop.

n it brings back so many memories.
impeding threats of lawsuits of defamation
police reports and what nots
i'm still terrible at it.

“…there are two types of people in the world: those who prefer to be sad among others, and those who prefer to be sad alone.”

we were talking abt dreams yest
it was good how love cld provide some with such a strong pillar of support
it's amazing how love cld seemingly let them soar higher in life
but to me it has always and is still been a burden
i think being alone pushes us to do greater things then being in a group
being alone means u're out of ur comfort zone
u can't rely on any one for help
u can only save urself.

yet the only terribly thing abt being alone
is that when u fall
u fall alot harder
and u bleed alot more

yes the afternoon heat is really driving me crazy

Monday, July 25, 2011


my best and worst dreams are abt flying

not in the plane.

it’s peter pan style really. retarded

there’s so much freedom.

and then suddenly u’ll realise tt u’re lost,

and someone will be after u








u can’t stop because u’re dead meat once u do

i just never had e guts to stop flyin
to see what i was getting away from.

Saturday, July 23, 2011





the day u become irreplacable

is the day i fall in love with u

Friday, July 22, 2011




Monday, July 11, 2011

that moving imagery

tt's all she had
that face that moved, and the voice that spoke

she sensed no warmth and felt no breath

so once that moving imagery stops
she wakes up
spends hours trying to convince herself
why she should not fall ( )

Wednesday, July 06, 2011

the weight of the heart

love becomes a burden
when u assume that u know what is best for the other

A conversation begins
with a lie. And each
speaker of the so-called common language feels
the ice-floe split, the drift apart
as if powerless, as if up against
a force of nature

The scream
of an illegitimate voice
It has ceased to hear itself, therefore
it asks itself
How do I exist?
This was the silence I wanted to break in you
I had questions but you would not answer
– Adrienne Rich

n learning stops n starts again

i could haf sworn i hated teaching.

until i forced myself to sit down and write lesson plans n think of activities
my mind becomes a virtual classroom with all these brats filled inside.
n i keep thinking of ways to keep them interested in the class
to keep the show going so that they'll want to learn.
i want them to be happy when they're learning.
i want them to see how knowledge can be applied to real life.

today was really bad though. by my standards. a bad bad lesson.
a lot of things werent really my fault. like 3 teachers coming in back to back to get students out of my class.
but the things i could have foreseen, i did not. soooo i have to work sooo much harder.

i do miss teaching.

Sunday, July 03, 2011

Not all those who wander are lost.

当遇到超级极限的事情, 在无法承受的时刻,马上就会崩溃。

~ 黄爱琳 《再苦也要去旅行》

 If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light. Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness and fears." - Cesare Pavese

“Traveling is a brutality. It forces you to trust strangers and to lose sight of all that familiar comfort of home and friends. You are constantly off balance. Nothing is yours except the essential things – air, sleep, dreams, the sea, the sky – all things tending towards the eternal or what we imagine of it.” – Cesare Pavese

“All travel has its advantages. If the passenger visits better countries, he may learn to improve his own. And if fortune carries him to worse, he may learn to enjoy it.” – Samuel Johnson

“Once you have traveled, the voyage never ends, but is played out over and over again in the quiestest chambers. The mind can never break off from the journey.” – Pat Conroy

“What you’ve done becomes the judge of what you’re going to do – especially in other people’s minds. When you’re traveling, you are what you are right there and then. People don’t have your past to hold against you. No yesterdays on the road.” – William Least Heat Moon

“I soon realized that no journey carries one far unless, as it extends into the world around us, it goes an equal distance into the world within.” – Lillian Smith

“Adventure is a path. Real adventure – self-determined, self-motivated, often risky – forces you to have firsthand encounters with the world. The world the way it is, not the way you imagine it. Your body will collide with the earth and you will bear witness. In this way you will be compelled to grapple with the limitless kindness and bottomless cruelty of humankind – and perhaps realize that you yourself are capable of both. This will change you. Nothing will ever again be black-and-white.” – Mark Jenkins

But I would walk 500 miles And I would walk 500 more

i am given the whole world to work on
and the freedom to do what i want
i'm not prepared to give up my world to you

u once promised me that u'll be there
u'll sit next quietly nxt to me when i cry
wad's lacking
was the courage to approach u when i wanted to cry

Saturday, July 02, 2011


i sat there n rambled on

n listened to words not of my own

i tried

i lied

i cried

they said u can't tempt fate.

i'd rather not tempt love

no one understands me

they bemoaned

but then again.i never sought to be understood.

i live in my own ironies.