Tuesday, October 31, 2006

rubbish barbish larbish

i honestly think chen weilian's fans are weird...
they are overzealous, over protective & overdemanding... like hello ppl?! get a life honestly will ya? so what if u guys voted infinite times for ur weilian & den he was leading in e 60% vote count thing. aren't u forgetting that steph sun has her own group of fans too? so what if he was leading in e vote by fans? there's still another 40%. have 60% lead doesn't make it a CONFIRMED WIN!!!?? and poor chen weilian felt so disappointed tt he didn't win. he was quoted in e newspaper tt he felt tt it's like winning 4D and den being told e nxt day tt it was a mistake or smthing... DOTXXXX
comparing weilian to sun, she has quite a few albums while he has only 1, and he's only a local singer. sun is already a regional singer & i bet her fan base ranges from china to malaysia & all other asian countries. furthermore how da hell did weilian end up in e hong xing da jiang? IS HIS ACTING EVEN NICE? OMG PPL!!!!
i'm nt surprised chen weilian didn't win & can e fans can stop making a big hoohaa demanding tt e votes are screwed & stuff. URGH GET A LIFE PPL!!!!!
ok nvm, i'm random. just bimbo rambling but hurhur.

studies killed me...............

Sunday, October 29, 2006

i am sick, drownsy, weak, & tired....

Thursday, October 26, 2006


i feel depressed all of a sudden, i don't know why...

all this studying is making me nuts. i'm literarily trying to squeeze translations of chinese poems into my brain. for fuck?! i also dun noe for wad da hell reason.... to score As... i guess.

i'm been watching tv too. i gives me breaks. better than kit kats.

i keep telling myself tt all this is gonna pay off, i don't wanna regret. i wanna earn big bucks, i wanna get my parents a nice big house to stay in, i wanna drive a car, i want my parents to stop working & worrying bout money....
oh lala, i lack steam... i need to eat steamed buns..

me: u must study hard! if u get first u can get e gold plaque
my bro: but i dun want to get first! i want to get third in class!
me: xiao ah! for wad?!
my bro: i dun like gold colour, i like bronze.

u noe it's kinda weird... kids, how do u teach them to have ambition? i mean when a kid lacks ambition, does it mean he's wrong? if u look at e issue morally or in any other sense, it's just not wrong for him to wish not to be e first. he's just aiming for something tt he likes, maybe to him, third is just good enough.
but somehow to my family, or maybe to soceity, this kid so lacks e guts, e ambition to aim high. WHY SO STUPID CHOOSE THIRD? doesn't everyone want to be first? first in class, first in e race, first first first!
so what's wrong with not wanting to be first? social stigma? y must he be the ambitious boy who aims to be no.1 in order to be the "correct" or "ideal" child who can make it far in life? must u be e first in everything to be "successful"? or maybe it's only in singapore where we're trained to be kiasu in everything? this stupid mentality tt condemns those who fail to make it big, those who don't have e balls to strive for e best? maybe to my kid bro, third is just his no.1. maybe to him, e colour bronze is even more radiant than e colour of gold.
maybe, being first is not e best option after all...

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

oh lala

ohhhh, i watched princess hrs today. ARHHHHH it's such a disappointment!!! it's like F4 meteor garden quality, e 4 of dem sucks totally. like totally u noe?!!! their faces were basically emotionaless. nil emotion. void void!!! ARGHHHHHH! no wonder my gd friend said tt i most probably won't like e show. it's so o.o!! U GET ME??!!!

ok nvm, i'm still gonna watch it at e end of e day. maybe everyone's been praising e show tt i've expected e quality to be better. haha. nvm, i'm going crazy slacking. THOU SHALL NOT SLACK! ARHHHH!! I'VE BEEN SLACKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* oh btw, did u noe, he's nt a very good singer too. it's really bad... unless he sings fast songs. >< but his cute looks shld more than make up for everything i guess. sighx.

Monday, October 23, 2006

forgive me, for being cute

we just need some things to look forward to at e end of As, sex, booze, drugs, cars, hunks... okok nt tt bad but just give me cute guys & my korean dramas... that would satisfy me....

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Friday, October 20, 2006

Light a candle for victims of online child abuse

Go and light a candle at lightamillioncandles.com, which has been set up to petition against child pornography. They have about 700,000 candles lit so far, and they are aiming for at least a million by 31st Drecember 2006, so go and lend your support.

taken frm mrbrown

Thursday, October 19, 2006


it's like u're standing on this piece of land with nothing in sight
there're no signs to guide u as to where u shld go
u feel tired, thristy, worn out & u just don't want to move on.
there's nthing in sight, just e setting sun in e horizon....


Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Are you a Carrot, an Egg or Coffee Bean?

wednesdays were always the best in cedar, not only because we were dismissed early but rather we'll always have pupils & teachers sharing their stories about life to motivate cedarians. (ok smtimes it's boring though o.o) ms leong's were always the most entertaining & the most encouraging...

this was one of e stories she shared....

Are you a Carrot, an Egg or Coffee Bean?
By Author Unknown

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life, and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it, and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water. In the first pot, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in
a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what do you see?" "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied. She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they got soft. She then asked her to take the egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to smell and sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as she smelled and tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What's the point, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity- boiling water-but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When trials and adversity knock on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I?

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a passive heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside, am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?

Or, am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you become better and change the situation around you.

When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another level?

How do you handle adversity?
Like the CARROT, the EGG, OR the COFFEE BEAN?

It is the size of one's will which determines success.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

what my bro will look like 20 yrs from now

u know those kind of techonolgy where they can recreate faces to see what ppl's faces looked like in e past or maybe in e future. well, me & my sis have come up with a more accurate recreation of what my bro will look like 20 yrs frm now. no fuzzy complicated programmes or photoshops, just a simple programme & tada!

he looks just like my dad. maybe i shld try doing this on haogay's pict too.


yeah i noe it's cliche, all e gdbyes, gifts, tears, hugs & blahx. but who cares, it's nt everyday tt u say gdbye to ur friend as both of u embark on another part of life's journey, be it to e Unis or to some other parts of e world.
u cry because u don't know when u'll meet her/him again, because there are so many uncertainties in life. (i mean if u knew u were gonna meet someone again, wld u even bother to have said goodbye?)
u nvr know how things may change after u've separated, how different things will be after ur frend who has been there for u leaves. u know tt no matter how many upteen times u write keep in touch in notes or letters or how determined u are tt u'll definitely keep in touch with this very close friend of urs, ur relationship with her might be as strong as ever, but there's also a high possibility tt both of u may drift apart. nothing is for sure, ppl change & so do their needs & mentalities...
photographs are e inventions of humans to capture a moment, be it real fake hilarious ridiculous, it captures ppl & places, & it reminds us of our past when our memory fails us. u take photos because u want to rmb what life was like with these bunch of ppl ard, how each place in e sch holds a special meaning for u.
u find urself becoming santa claus, giving gifts & letters to those tt have been with u throughout these 2 yrs, thanking them for friendship, apologizing for ur mistakes, urging them to keep in touch. maybe these words are hollow, maybe they're just last min attempts to make sure tt there will be no regrets when they leave. wadever it is, someone just wanted u to know that u had once meant alot to their lives & they appreciate u for tt.
goodbye marks an end, to my life in cedar, & then in nyjc. it tells me to move on, to leave without regrets cus there's no looking back. it gives me a closure & strength, & prepares me for e nxt part of my journey.

~thank u nyjc.


Saturday, October 14, 2006


Q1) Ah Mei's dad has 7 wives. The 5th and 7th are Africans. Guess Chinese idiom.

A1) Wu Qi Ma Hei

Q2) There's a party in the forest. Who didn't get to eat the cake!?!

A2) GRASS because Cao Mei Dan Gao (草莓蛋糕/草没蛋糕 )

Q3) Ah bao was murdered! However, the police quickly found the killer. Who was it?

A3) Ah Dou because Dou Sha Bao ( 豆沙包/豆杀包)

Q4) Xiao Bai and Da Bai are bros. As Xiao Bai grows older, he looks more and more like his bro. Guess a Chinese idiom.

A4) Zhen Xiang Da Bai (真相大白/真像大白)

Q5) Osama, Bush , Blair and Saddam play mahjong. Who will win first ??

A5) Saddam Hussein because Saddam Hu Xian

Q6) What's the panda's 2 biggest wishes?

A6) i. Get rid of dark eyes ring

ii.Taking colour photo

Q7) Who will pick up the dumpling (ba zhang) on the floor ?

A7) Xiang Long because Xiang Long Shi Ba Zhang (降龙十八掌)

Q8) There are 3 Male and 1 Female pencils in a box. The Female pencil got pregnant!! Which Male pencil is responsible?

A8) The one without the rubber

Q9) Xiao Ming drinks milk to grow up. What does Da Ming drink?

A9) Alcohol because Jiu Yang Da Ming (久仰大名/酒养大名)

Q10) Which brand of shampoo is the wealthiest?

A10) "Lux" Super Rich

Q11) What did Batman say when he fell down?

A11) Painful Sia... (Bian fu sia/蝙蝠侠)

Friday, October 13, 2006




Wednesday, October 11, 2006

the brother.

extract from my brother's english compo of his trip to e zoo where he noticed a man hiding in the bushes near the lion's den...

"At first I thought he was the zookeeper, but to confirm this, I went over to take a closer look. I saw the man holding a sharp knife. I decided to hide behind some trees & observe the man while my sister prepared to call the police with her handphone.
Soon, I saw the man stabbing the lions. We were rooted to the spot as it was horrible. Blood was all over the place. After killing the lion. He proceed to set up something. I quickly scrambled up the tree to spy on the man. To my horror, he was making a nuclear bomb as big as a watermelon."
"i ran over to stop the man from setting of the bomb. he was surprised to see me but started fighting. i put up a brave struggle but was no match for him. He soon pinned me to the ground & was about to stab me when a gunshot was heard. The man was so surprised that he dropped the knife missing my head just a few milimeters. i quickly grabbed a stick and swept him off his feet. the policemen than pounced on him & handcruffed him...

to be continued.....

my sis & i already died laughing when we finished reading this part. tt's e reason i love to teach pri sch kids, they have wonderful imagination, like stabbing lions & watermelon sized nuclear bombs which was mentioned later in his essay could "blow singapore into a million pieces". & tt's nt all, he went on to say how he was recognized for his bravery. when i tot tt he is finally making some sense, he concludes proudly:

"i hope that there will be peace on earth forever."

© the brother

of the disconnected P65 (II)

i happen to read mr wang's blog on e hoohaa abt the P65 blog & i found this comment by mr wang very interesting

Mr Wang Says So said...

Quick thoughts ...

I think that the root problem is that the public knows this isn't the real PAP.

In contrast, think for example of Virgin Airlines CEO Richard Branson - if he said that tomorrow he's going to hip hop in public, no one would be surprised because everyone knows that Richard Branson does crazy things all the time like run naked on a public beach or sail across the ocean in a little boat. If you read his biography, you know he's been spontaneous and freewheeling ever since he was a kid.

The P65 MPs, however, are nothing like Richard Branson. You know that they are going to hip hop essentially because PM Lee has announced that he has decided to change the PAP's image to get in sync with younger Singaporeans.

To me, that immediately smacks of fakeness. And really, I feel that this is what irritates people about the whole thing.

There's a bit of shallowness in the whole thing too. I mean, if you were interested in reaching out to youths in Singapore, there are thousands of more meaningful ways you could do it. Taking "youth" to mean Singaporeans, say, in the 17-25 age group:

MPs could for example visit schools; polys; local uni's; give talks; support youth charity efforts; form working groups to study issues and help specific groups of young Singaporeans (eg handicapped; juvenile delinquents; drug abusers; ex-convicts; single mothers); put forward suggestions to deal with NSF problems; help in AIDS awareness education campaigns; organise sports & other activities for youths in their constituencies; canvas for donations for bursaries to help young Singaporeans from needy families with their school fees; focus on education issues and contribute policy suggestions on how our education system could be improved; get in touch with organisations like the Juvenile Courts, Boys Home, Girls' Home, SIngapore Police etc etc and see where they can use their MP status to help with youth issues; do something in the area of career guidance for young Singaporeans; organise activities at the community centres in their constituency for youth etc etc ....

... or hell, just START a blog on youth issues.

Instead they're going to hip hop. Because that looks "cool". And "hip". And "happening".

Aiyah, please lah. Do we really need Members of Parliament to be hip and happening? Please leave that to the Singapore Idols and the TCS actors and the Super Model wannabes. MPs should focus on helping residents in their constituencies and on contributing to policy-making in Parliament. No one wants or needs MPs to be hip & happening or hopping or whatever.

oh yeah i also left a comment on their blog (sad thing was i didn't have e guts to leave my real email add & name)
i’m sorry dear MPs but this entry sounds bimbotic. may i know what are ur views on youth issues instead of ur own health issues? isn’t this blog supposed to connect with the youths?

let's see if this comment gets moderated.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

what we need now...

taken from the bitter stickgirl

how much is much?

ok it's this crazy obsession with some korean thing again. like URGH! i'm already addicted to quite a few korean dramas. @_@ e gd looking guys are killing meeee XD


just what is sharing ur troubles & what is overburdening others with ur problems?
i think there's always a fine line drawn b/w what is attention seeking & seeking comfort from ur friends.

maybe it's just me but whenever problems crop up in sch & u have so much emotions pent up inside u, e first person u look for is never ur family members but instead ur friends. u start keying in ur msg furiously into e phone & send it to e first person tt comes into ur mind ie. ray is such a bastard, he looks like a fucking balding monkey!#*$(^%# & hope for a reply that ranges from
1. comforting friend
(hey wad happened, r u ok? dun be upset, i'm sure u r nt what he thinks)
2. reflecting ur sentiments friend
(YAR LOR, what a piece of shit he is, nt only is he bald, he is a f***ing dork as well. i'll stuff durians up his ass for ya.)
3. the solutions & showing u e other side of e story friend
(hmmm, maybe u shld avoid talking to him for a while. i guess he must have felt very stressed too.)

maybe we just needed a channel for us to express what was kept inside, maybe we just needed someone to point us to a way which we can get out of this frustrating situation. or maybe we needed someone to tell us tt everything's gonna be alright.

friends, u assume, will always be there to carry ur burden, to reflect ur sentiments & to give u what u need when u can't get enough of it from e relevant authorities ie ur parents. maybe it's this unspoken rule tt said tt friends will be there for u 24/7 tt u r filled with e romantic notion tt it is e requirement tt all ur friends must meet. look @ all e songs tt have been sung abt friendship, e quotes tt have been made abt this special bond tt more often then not, we take all this "i'll always be there for u" promises for granted.

true, that's what friends are for, to help u up when u fall down, to cheer u up when u feel blue, to lend u a listening ear or shoulder to cry on. it is a bond worth celebrating, but apparently it's nt smthing tt we cherish much. with e expensive presents tt u've bought for their birthday, it is as if they have signed a contract in return to be there to give ur attention deficit life more attention, love & more attention. u make sure tt they honour their contract, by expecting them to pamper u when u're stressed out & then u're filled with their love, u sneak back into ur own little world only to come back for more later because there's just nt enough attention tt u can extract out of ur friend.

u forget tt u friend is human, ur friend faces e same problems as u do in life, maybe even worse. u forget tt ur friend needs u in return, ur support & ur care. as much as u need them to tell u tt everything will be ok, they need u to tell them tt things will be fine & i'm sure u can do it. basically, u forget. as long as it doesn't concern UR welfare, UR happiness, U, u forget.

i'm nt saying it's wrong to share ur troubles, in fact it is what bonds us together as we face each crisis in our lives together with another person. but forget abt claiming another person to be ur friend when u don't bother to share her burden, or "think tt" e person might need some time alone & she'll tell me when she's ready, or u're "too afraid" tt u might hurt her if u ask her wad's e problem now. i think it's bullshit. what do u mean u think? wad do u mean u're "afraid of hurting", yeah rite u're afraid of hurt, u're afraid u'll hurt urself, nt her.

honestly, it takes just this much effort to reach out to ppl tt u care. u just need to open ur mouth & listen with ur ears. ur friends willingly lent ur theirs & reached out to u no matter how tired they may be. have u even tried? it's another matter when ur friend tells u to shut up when u try but don't bother to give excuses when u haven.

~Friends aren't jumper cables. You don't throw them into the trunk and pull them out for emergencies.~

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Christ in Limbo

Christ in Limbo
Museum of Fine Arts, Budapest
As a fulfillment of redemption, Christ, having broken open the gates of hell, has brought with him the pious figures of the Old Testament, holding Adam by the hand as the symbolical incorporation of the whole of humanity. Allusions to this forced invasion, a favoured incident of popular legends and mystery plays, are found even in the Divine Comedy; here it is indicated by cracked and broken stones. It is typical of medieval thinking that hell is represented as a well-guarded building of huge stones, a sort of immense fortified prison; the notions of release, heaven, enjoyment of the delights of Paradise, are conveyed by a fresh green meadow encircled by mountains and forests of fantastic shape, worthy of the imagination of a Tyrolese painter. As symbol of his triumph over death, Christ holds the banner of victory in his hand; the wounds on his hands and feet are clearly visible.

ok so there's talk abt abolishing e limbo "since it has always been only a theological hypothesis".
i find it interesting tt ppl of e same religion can actually be separated into different "sects" or demonitions, or into different thinking eg b/w e traditionally minded & e more hmm, shld i say, open followers?

i mean isn't there supposed to be just 1 god? if there's 1 god, how come god's followers can have such diverse ideas on their beliefs? how can followers even disagree on their fellow followers' beliefs? so by disagreeing are they saying that there is only 1 correct belief? then how isit that they have been unable to figure out which is e correct one since religion first started? Isn't god supposed to guide them? how isit that god would allow such diversity in beliefs? how can god allow e possibility of e abolition of e limbo aka Abraham's Bosom? why isit tt e bible can be interpreted in many ways by different followers?


e haze is really bad. i dun think e PSI index is just a pathetic 80. like c'mon, i already have breathing difficulties & having nose & eye irritation & u tell me it's 80?!! honestly, i think tt's a lousy cover up again with e mentality tt singaporeans are dumb. ok maybe most of them are. i can't be bothered.
bet those assholes are well equipped with air purifiers @ home so they can't be bothered abt e rest of us. i tew u, if this goes on, my brain will most probably die frm e fumes. do smthin!

Friday, October 06, 2006

of the disconnected P65

maybe u might think i'm refering to e apathetic youths of singapore, rather i'm refering this whole bunch of people who are disconnected from e ppl they claim to serve or represent.

call e youths of singapore apathetic all u want, i've read enough in disgruntled entries on blogs. so with e MPs having this concept tt are our youths are self centered, they try all means to connect with the younger generation, by having these bunch of post 65ers (who apparently are young enough to connect with us) to set up blogs & if like that's not bad enough, they will be dancing hip hop @ the chingay parade. rite, so they wld expect me, to feel suddenly very inspired & VERY CONNECTED with them. it's just painful to see them try...

PAP is trying too hard to get youths onto their side. honestly, youths just want their voices to be heard. nt in some lousy stomp forum where attention seekers get to narrat abt their harrowing expriences on sitting on e MRT, or in some youth forum where a bunch of bimbotic no life youths complain abt abolishing e exam & education system just for e simple reason tt they don't want to study.

yes the P65 & e PAP are trying, but maybe they're just trying too hard to connect into any viable socket as long as they can avoid e responsibility of listening to youths & doing smthing worthwhile for them. youths are nt just any socket u can just plug into & hope to get smthing to work out. we don't want some stupid coffee shop talk where we just TALK but there is no ACTION. we don't want some 40 to 30 yr old MPs dancing hip hop or blogging with us. we just want them to listen & take action, is tt too much to ask for? apparently for e incumbents, it is.

"All of us are having fun. It's not important whether we perform well, we dance well or whether we look professional on tv or during the parade. Most importantly, we have to connect with the youths of today," said Lam Pin Min, MP, Ang Mo Kio GRC.

forget abt putting on an act or granting "freedom of speech". the more u try to connect, e more disconnected u are.

they are also NOT THAT young lor....

they think its so easy to connect with the youth meh?

youth blog, they also blog.
youth dance hiphop, they also dance hiphop.

come on lah.... u really want to connect with the youth, u just need to open ur ears and listen. don need come out so many pattern and act wannabes.... u'll onli make the youth move further from u onli....
dk99 from SPUG

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Song of Los

I Will sing you a song of Los, the Eternal Prophet:
He sung it to four harps, at the tables of Eternity,
In heart-formèd Africa.
Urizen faded! Ariston shudder'd!
And thus the Song began;--

William Blake's Song of Los 1

The archetype of the "creator" is a familiar image in the illuminated books of William Blake.

Here, Blake depicts an almighty creator stooped in prayer contemplating the world he has forged.

William Blake's Song of Los 2

In this image, Los resting on a cloud, leans on his hammer, the symbol of his creative energy.

He stares down at the bright red sun that he has fashioned out of components of his own soul.

The sun represents the giver of life, that most fundamental of elements which keeps the world in balance and nurtures the development of all physical matter.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

The Fly

The Fly

Little Fly
Thy summers play,
My thoughtless hand
Has brush'd away.

Am not I
A fly like thee?
Or art not thou
A man like me?

For I dance
And drink & sing:
Till some blind hand
Shall brush my wing.

If thought is life
And strength & breath;
And the want
Of thought is death;

Then am I
A happy fly,
If I live,
Or if I die.

-William Blake

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

hazey bazey lazy crazy dazy fuzzy zazy

Carve a tunnel of hope through the dark mountain of disappointment.
~Martin Luther King, Jr.

what's @ e end of every tunnel? i haven been seeing light for a while, maybe abt a yr or so? it's kinda of depressing actually, as u are surrounded by bks & slog on day & night hoping for tt all that u're doing now is nt just a futile attempt to salvage ur grades. u wonder if ur frens are doing ok.

my sis has been nominated by her teacher to attend some global young leaders conference held in europe so she might get e chance to go to vienna(austria), prague (czech) & hungary. e problem with this world is tt nthing is for free so e trip will cost her around s$10,000, which is nt even my dad's 1 yr salary. oh well. as much as i'm jealous abt her getting this chance, i do hope she can get a sponsor, like maybe advertise for DBS in europe by wearing DBS T-shirts or smthing. haha.

i shld plan to save up to go on a european tour. maybe enough to bring my family along too. it'll be cool to actually see e hall of mirrors & other fascinating places. ohoh, & VENICE! haha. dreams dreams dreams.

The face is the mirror of the mind, and eyes without speaking confess the secrets of the heart.

Monday, October 02, 2006





Sunday, October 01, 2006


So don't wish upon a star
Cause a star can only get you so far
And it doesn't matter who you are
Cause the sky looks better from the ground
Anyway you never know what you got
And even if you do it don't mean it's gonna stay
Tomorrow is another day
You only live once and I'm living for today

jc is a place where u'll find urself growing up alot.

i was kinda of cynical @ first when my senior told me this. but looking back at e archives of what i've raved & ranted, i guess maybe she's right after all.
e past 2 yrs in ny was a roller coster ride. i went through periods of extreme mood swings, depressions, obession, self-inflicted pain, crushes & what have u. it wasn't a great ride & i definitely wldn't wanna go thru it again.
maybe e only sign for me tt i've actually grown up frm some incident is tt i felt immensely stupid when reading my archives. but maybe it might be wrong too. who knows. now as i run e last lap, i keep asking myself what are e things i'll miss in ny. maybe it's e fact tt i missed cedar alot tt has pushed me to go through this process so that i can treasure those things i feel tt i'll miss when i leave this hellhole.
just like in sec sch, all these familiar faces will become distant once u've moved on to another phase.
maybe wad's so amazing abt e network of human relations is tt u can nvr be complacent or even think tt u have it under ctrl because u r not. graduation doesn't mean an end to all this tiring process of maintaning e network. weird ppl will nvr fail to show up... either u decide to take up e romantic idea of living in bukit timah out of human contact or live with it, of which none sounds very inviting.
whatever it is, we only live for ourselves. so forget e crap abt altruism. i'm nt making any sense. bahbah sheeps....