Saturday, September 30, 2006

e ultimate eraser

Madness need not be all breakdown. It may also be break-through.
~R.D. Laing, The Politics of Experience

hoho, me, miao & chee had our little discussion abt religion @ e expense of hcl lesson (c'mon it was boring... o_o) & e teacher being pissed off with our constant chattering threw a eraser @ us with e words "shut up" written on e sides of e eraser. i applaud her for her ingenuity...

my computer is laggy again. i nearly stabbed myself just now when i somehow reset e html code of my blogskin & lost all my customizations. wadever. i'm having problems setting up a blog too cus it just refuses to let me in despite me having gotten e correct username & password.

yes yes it's 4am & i know i'm supposed to either slp or study. wad da hell.

ohh. btw, i found this lovely website with all e very cute advertisments frm ard e world.
this one's abt piracy in e movie industry causing e superheros to be unemployed

this is e advertisment for deoderant for socks.
yay! e power of smelly socks! ^_^

meanwhile, study hard guys for ur As & ur Os & wadever test u have coming up.
admit it, this is just e no life education system. wad can we do? study lor....

I suppose it is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts. ~G.B. Burgin

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

dreams 我的梦

Climb every mountain, ford every stream
Follow every rainbow, till you find your dream

damn i'm so drained out today. i'm glad tt i finally passed my hcl. now all i need is to study harder & make sure i can memorise everything back to back to score well for my As.
believe me when i say there's smthing called exam luck, how u choose questions, how u stay calm throughout e exams & all e rubbish. haix. work hard ppl.

34 more days. A lvls here i come~!

rejoice, for your soul is alive

“If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy, if the simplest things of nature have a message that you understand, rejoice, for your soul is alive.”

it's e little things u do tt matters. i don't really care for e crap & stuff on that "special day". it's abt how u live ur life every single day that matters to me. smtimes i wonder if i'm taking things too seriously. smtimes i wish u cld understand how impt all these means to me as much as it means to u.


Tuesday, September 26, 2006

i had a friend

yay yay to new blogskin. actually it's nt really new or smthing since i had echizen to help me out in manipulating e html codes of blogger's blogskin to put my nice pict in. but i'm still proud of my blogskin.

i used to have a very close fren when i was in sec 2. my table partner. we did all e crazy stuff but i guess my craziness made her very depressed too.
somehow i'll always have this guilt when i think abt her. this guilt of nt giving her back what she has given me. i guess she always deserved much more. i'm a lousy fren. i knew she loved anime & manga. i guess she loves it now too, frm her msn nicks. she even wanted to set up a website with another fren dedicated to anime. she had a great love for fan fiction too & always wanted me to read her stories & give her comments. i saved e link to her fanfiction, but i didn't manage to find e time to read it not until we drifted apart that i managed to find time to fulfil my promise. she is good. haha
maybe there were alot of things i cld have done for her. maybe i had e ability to give her more.

i guess tt's just one of my regrets in life. i've disappointed alot of ppl, i've made many more angry & every time i try to recall, it hurts alot. oh well.

maybe it's better to be alone, to nt feel like u have to live up to expectations...

i actually missed e times we had together. but i guess maybe one of e reasons we drifted apart was because we had very different personalities. i hope u're happy now. i hope u don't get stressed up easily like u used to in e past. stay happy okay?

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Fiat Lux - let there be light

Genesis 1:3 - And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.

The Latin phrase fiat lux, from the Latin Vulgate Bible, is typically translated as "let there be light" when relating to Genesis 1:3 (Hebrew: "יְהִי אוֹר"). The full phrase is "dixitque Deus fiat lux et facta est lux" ("And said God let there be light, and there was light")

i found out abt this natural phenomenon frm e matrix revolution. it's pretty amazing, the stuff that mother nature has in store for us.. it's nt just floods, tsunami, drought, volcano eruptions alone. e skies filled with stars, e 4 seasons with its beautiful sceneries. these are the wonderful stuff tt u don't find in singapore. these are e things that just make u wanna stop time & stare @ it forever.

somehow this line frm e bible gives me e feeling of power, yet u do not feel overwhelmed but instead feel reassured & protected. u feel hopeful. u see hope.


Saturday, September 23, 2006

post prelims mood - irwin, religion & blah

if u've read e ST recently, there was this very gd article abt steve irwin in e review section.

it's quite a lengthy article but i very much agree with e points e author had mentioned.

But the lesson learnt — that animals think and behave like human beings — is a harmful and erroneous one. It was precisely that kind of mistaken arrogant thinking that killed Mr Treadwell and, to a lesser extent, Irwin. While Irwin never pretended that all the animals he encountered were cute and cuddly, he did, as Ms Greer pointed out, “barge into” their space to “manhandle” them.

Her ultimate fear, she concluded was that “a whole generation of kids in shorts seven sizes too small has learnt to shout in the ears of animals with hearing 10 times more acute than theirs, determined to become millionaire animal-loving zoo owners in their turn”.

It’s one thing to dress your poodle up in baby clothes, it’s totally another thing to assume that your poodle likes it. Irwin’s downfall was assuming he knew better than the animals and that he had the upper hand.

Human beings can sometimes be animals, but animals will never be human.
so yeah there u have it. not like we're saying irwin deserves it but smtimes we're just too full of overselves to assume tt everyone/everything will think & behave e same way as us.


btw, i found some interesting quotes regarding religion. it's thought provoking so i tot i might paste it here. :)

Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish. Albert Einstein

Or what about the statue in California currently said to be crying bloody tears? Why worry about the alleged weeping of a plaster effigy when so many actual human beings have reason to cry? Anna Quindlen (newsweek)

How do you define God? Like this. A God I could understand, at least potentially, was infinitely more interesting and relevant than one that defied comprehension.
Robert J. Sawyer

anyway, tt stupid ceremony is tml. i'm stuck @ home with my bro. believe me i can be so childish smtimes tt i'll get into fights with him. e only difference is tt he cries & i don't. @_@
haix. i've been sourcing youtube for animatrix clips too. e duration is abt 9 mins & e animation & storylines are fantastic. if u guys want i cld paste it in my blog for ya. muahaha.

until then, adios.

Friday, September 22, 2006

right or wrong?

after all this hoohaa abt religion, we're still tearing our hair out over whether there is a god. ppl who usually write abt religion in their blogs will have their entry flooded with comments & all this agitated debate over facts & faith, giving quotes frm a whole bunch of ppl just to prove their point.

so what? u realise tt nobody wins in e end. we'll always walk away frm debate having gained nothing but feeling more frustrated with e inability to understand & accept.

who is right to say that ur beliefs are wrong? there wasn't even a correct one to begin with.

e worse thing is tt none of us, when discussing abt our beliefs can understand what it means to respect. we get agitated when ppl question e existence of god, e bible etc because we feel that god shld nt be subjected to such an insult like questioning his existence.

and it's so funny how we shld nvr adopt a blasphemous behavior towards religion but religious followers on e other hand can label non-believers as being immoral, satanic or wadever names they feel is appopriate for us. some even call our beliefs another form of religion.

right, so we have to respect religion, but we can forget abt ppl who have other beliefs that are not similar to urs. isn't religion just another form of belief? y shld it be that beliefs which come under e category of religion can be protected from blasphemous behavior/language while e others can't? so u're saying tt i have to accept this unfair treatment? and i tot god was fair.

Monday, September 18, 2006

thoughts of a brainless shit

People are like stained-glass windows.
They sparkle and shine when the sun is out,
but when the darkness sets in,
their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

i always wondered what it meant to be resilient

does being resilient mean that u wld by all means prevent things tt hurt u frm happening again?
or does it mean that u do nthing abt it but wld be expected to be strong if u'r hurt.

since u know u'll be hurt by it in e first place, why nt prevent it?
but by preventing it are u denying urself of any chance that things wld happen that wld be out of ur expectations. maybe even better than u've expected.

society has taught me tt it doesn't pay to be kind. society has taught me tt ppl make promises so as break them. society has taught me that it is a place filled with fucking bastards, who knows, i'm just one of those too.
anyway, nthing is making sense now adays. i read on ST interview with this religious figure tt if u read porn, u're most probably possesed by satan or smthing. interesting...

my family is preparing for my sis's PGA ceremony thing. i didn't noe my dad can look handsome in a longue suit. & my mum looks darn pretty too. URGH. i was hoping tt e president wldn't be such a shithead & allow e whole family to attend e ceremony but i guess he is just a shithead so it can't be helped.

anyway, my tolerance for whiny voices is very low recently but obviously someone doesn't get it. bleahx.

oh anyway e novena church saga is bothering me alot recently. haha. don't noe why. maybe it's because my mum was suggesting tt i go novena church & chill after my As or smthing. my sis was suggesting st andrews cathedral but i went there before.

"This life's dim windows of the soul
Distorts the heavens from pole to pole
And leads you to believe a lie
When you see with, not through, the eye."

William Blake, The Everlasting Gospel

Saturday, September 16, 2006

in the arms of an angel, may u find, some comfort here...

Columbine High School massacre occurred on Tuesday, April 20, 1999

history repeats itself. this time in canada.

& now as ppl start pointing fingers @ every single thing they cld lay their hands on, u wonder if these ppl are too quick to make judgements & jump into conclusions when they don't know much of what happened in e first place. (just look at e overwhelming 200 plus comments pasted on his blog calling him a motherfucker o.o)

Kimveer Gill, 25 years old, Quebec

i sort of tot he was an angsty guy, he had alot of anger in his blog entries & directed most of them towards bullying & ppl who didn't understand gothic culture.
his blog profile was kinda of disturbing too. it's kinda of weird smtimes, to look at e photos & blog of smone who's just not there anymore.

however, one entry in his blog that struck me most was abt him recalling abt his crush in his high sch & wondering what she was doing now... maybe what i needed to know was he wasn't just a cold crazy psychopath bent on destroying e world or die in a hail of gunfire. maybe he was just a someone who was disappointed with e negativity of e world. maybe he was just a guy who lost his way & didn't get e help he needed before he turned e gun on others & finally himself.

Where's Waldo? I think not! Where's Barbara is the true question!!
September 04, 2006, 03:57:am

I was thinking of Barbara Borelli yesterday.

I saw her in a dream. She was just standing their smiling at me. She looked like a princess. All in white clothes, and she was just smiling, the most beautiful smile, but didn't say anything, and i just looked at her, i tryed to look at her ears to see how many piercings she had by now, but couldn't see anything other than her face. There was a bright white light shining from all over, around her body, from the ground up, from the sky down, all over, a super bright white light. I couldn't stop looking in her eyes, it almost felt like if i stopped gazing into her eyes, that i would die. For a second i thought she was trying to tell me something, I wanted to run up to her and hold her, and touch her, to see if she was real, cuz' this dream felt different than others i've had. But i couldn't move. I wanted to look down to see if there was something holding my feet and keeping me from moving, but i couldn't take my eyes off her.

It was weird. Cuz' usually I have dreams about people being murdered, hung, getting shot in the head, and stuff like that. Sometimes it's me that that stuff is happening to, and it's always dark and cold. But this was so different.

I wonder what happened to her? She was a girl that went to my high school. We hardly ever spoke, we were in like two different groups of friends, so our paths rarely crossed. She always looks so preoccupied with stuff. I liked her, guess I should have told her or something, just to let her know and stuff, not that anything would have happened, but it would'a been nice.

I wonder what she's up to? Maybe she owns her own business or something (seemed like something she'd like). It always made me smile when she went running down the halls, screaming at the top of her lungs, arms and legs flailing in every direction. Like some sort of escaped mental patient or something (I mean that in a good way). She was really sweet. (But loud) Bet if she ever stumbled upon my web page, she'd hunt me down and smack me for that. lol.

Wonder if she'd have let me call her Bar-bar if we had been friends. Bar-bar sounds nice to me. Hey! Hey Bar-bar!! Where are you? You're not under my bed, or in my basement, or dancing on the roof!!


Have fun Barb :)

e last entry tt he wrote 2 hrs before he went on a killing spree

Gill’s last post, September 13, 10.41 AM:

Whiskey in the morning, mmmmmm, mmmmmmmmm, good !! :)

P.S. When i call people “niggah’s” in my journals . . . it doesn’t have anything to do with their skin color. I call white people niggahs too, it’s just fun. It’s all dave chappelle’s fault, ever since i started watching the chappelle show, i can’t stop calling people niggahs :(

Mood: No mood :(
Music: Megadeth — A Tout le Monde

there were a few other interesting blog post

September 12

Stop Bullying

It’s not only the bully’s fault you know!! It’s the teachers and principals fault for turning a blind eye, just cuz it’s not their job

August 20

The police in England shot an innocent man in the head seven times. Is it a coincidence that he wasn’t white? I think not.


Thursday, September 14, 2006

it's been a while...

it's been a while...

i've always wondered if e day will come when i wake up 1 day & feel that live is nt worth living anymore...

it's always a ritual especially during crucial exams tt there'll always be this thought at e back of my head throwing at me a whole lot of "what ifs" & then trying to convince myself how painless it wld be if i could just gather e courage to walk to e middle of e road or just leap frm a building.

smthing inside me tells me tt if i can't do well, i'll just snap. my results hasn't been fantastic since PSLE. fantastic as in it hasn't been what i had expected it to be considering ppl used to praise me & say how "clever" i was. or maybe it was them tt i had believed myself to be clever & cld score straight As or stuff... yet e results were just nice enough to get me to where i wanted to go...

now as i sit in e exam hall trying to figure out half e time what e hell is going on, i just keep telling myself tt it's just e last lap & there can be no more mistakes.

i just wanna move on frm this horrible sch, leave all these horrible ppl behind & get into a uni.
i need to support my family, i need to get a good job to support my family.

smtimes u can't wait for what life has in store for u. other times u look at all e weirdos u've met & u wonder how much more life can have for u when u've had ur fill of weird ppl & crazy events.

i guess there's no short cuts in life...

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

so much for leaving a gd impression...

4 million smiles (not forgetting barbed wires)welcome u to singapore.

"IMF and World Bank Rebuke Singapore" (Financial Times)

“NGO Ban will Embarrass Singapore” (Bangkok Post)

“Singapore under fire as World Bank-IMF Protest” (AFP) “”While we understand and agree that security at the meetings is of paramount importance, Singapore’s authorities have not shared any information that would make us … consider these individuals as potential threats”

“Singapore Rapped over Protest Ban” (BBC News) “In an interview with BBC World Business Report, Mr Wolfowitz said Singapore had made a “bad” decision when it blocked activists that had been invited to the event.

“Singapore Tightens the Cordon on Protest” (International Herald Tribune) “It’s completely astonishing”


talking bout s'pore govt doing its best to create e best impression for delegates, we're already creating a "great impression" by banning protestors who have been invited by the IMF.
the govt cites a list of reason, stressing on security of singapore, terrorism, blah blah blah. i guess they're just willing to give any reason to stop protest from happening in e streets.
and some minister was saying in zaobao newspaper 新加坡已相当开放.
damn rite we are.

So much for yaya Papaya.

U r nt being brainwashed. U r nt being brainwashed.

all righty, these products are selling at US39.95 (including shipping!).
other similar products are up for grabs too. feel free to check them out here.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

in memory of humanity - 9/11

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

the ability of atheism

Spiritual Atheism and the False Comforts of Faith
David Gleeson

Thursday, September 07, 2006

fanatic estelwen

okok ppl u noe i'm a lotr fanatic so i just can't help looking for lotr stuff.
e clip is good. i've watched it for e upteen time & i still laugh my head off so go watch if u haf the time XD

and if u guys haf e time, just click here & vote cedar for it's coolest uniform!! just admit it. cedar has nice uniforms :P

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Crikey! We will miss you...

"Crocodile Hunter" Steve Irwin


what constitutes of molest?
when it's a sexual assult?
or when it's done by someone u don't know?
or when e act by the other party invades ur sexual privacy?


so if this girl is damn flirtatious & doesn't mind another guy touching her all of her sudden then it's nt called molest?

we're so damn bloody obsessesed with definitions while we define define & define ourselves away while the others suffer in silence.

& the sad thing is, most females have to be victims of sexual assults because we are portrayed as "objects". objects for guys to fuck ard, flirt with & then when u're done, u dump this object & fuck with another one of those pretty little things.

how much have we done to protect ourselves frm this shit. why are we always e helpless clueless bunch. why do we have to be seen as one. why do we always behave as one.

i love porn...

Tuesday, September 05, 2006



Fish (fly-replete, in depth of June,
Dawdling away their wat'ry noon)
Ponder deep wisdom, dark or clear,
Each secret fishy hope or fear.
Fish say, they have their Stream and Pond;
But is there anything Beyond?
This life cannot be All, they swear,
For how unpleasant, if it were!
One may not doubt that, somehow, Good
Shall come out of Water and of Mud;
And, sure, the reverent eye must see
A Purpose in Liquidity.
We darkly know, by Faith we cry,
The future is not Wholly Dry.
Mud unto mud! - Death eddies near -
Not here the appointed End, not here!
But somewhere, beyond Space and Time,
Is wetter water, slimier slime!
And there (they trust) there swimmeth One
Who swam ere rivers were begun,
Immense, of fishy form and mind,
Squamous, omnipotent, and kind;
And under that Almighty Fin,
The littlest fish may enter in.
Oh! never fly conceals a hook,
Fish say, in the Eternal Brook,
But more than mundane weeds are there,
And mud, celestially fair;
Fat caterpillars drift around,
And Paradisal grubs are found;
Unfading moths, immortal flies;
And the worm that never dies.
And in that Heaven of all their wish,
There shall be no more land, say fish.
- Rupert Brooke

Saturday, September 02, 2006

when commuting on a busy train...

ohhh... anyway, i heard jay & fei yu qing's song 千里之外. think it's wonderful & finally i can heard jay's real voice, nt e rapsy blurry voice tt he uses to rap most of e time.

i pity u. ur stupidity, ur ignorance, ur stubborness, ur selfishness. for that, i pity u.

Top Crimes Committed in Fairy Tales

1. Unlawful demolition of straw houses

2. Illegal consumption of grandmothers

3. Abandonment of children in the woods

4. Inter-species romance

5. Conversion of humans into amphibians without a licence

6. Offering poisoned fruit

7. Tricking little children into trading their livestock for ‘magic beans’

8. Grand Theft Pumpkin

9. Outraging the modesty of women by kissing them without their consent when they are in a magically-induced coma

10. Breaking and entering, followed by theft of porridge

11. Failure to pay musicians for pest control services

12. Employing elves without paying foreign worker levy

13. Distorting the truth and undermining confidence in the monarchy by writing a column suggesting that the Emperor has no clothes on