it's been a while...

it's been a while...

i've always wondered if e day will come when i wake up 1 day & feel that live is nt worth living anymore...

it's always a ritual especially during crucial exams tt there'll always be this thought at e back of my head throwing at me a whole lot of "what ifs" & then trying to convince myself how painless it wld be if i could just gather e courage to walk to e middle of e road or just leap frm a building.

smthing inside me tells me tt if i can't do well, i'll just snap. my results hasn't been fantastic since PSLE. fantastic as in it hasn't been what i had expected it to be considering ppl used to praise me & say how "clever" i was. or maybe it was them tt i had believed myself to be clever & cld score straight As or stuff... yet e results were just nice enough to get me to where i wanted to go...

now as i sit in e exam hall trying to figure out half e time what e hell is going on, i just keep telling myself tt it's just e last lap & there can be no more mistakes.

i just wanna move on frm this horrible sch, leave all these horrible ppl behind & get into a uni.
i need to support my family, i need to get a good job to support my family.

smtimes u can't wait for what life has in store for u. other times u look at all e weirdos u've met & u wonder how much more life can have for u when u've had ur fill of weird ppl & crazy events.

i guess there's no short cuts in life...