Thursday, April 21, 2011

i'm moving. find me here

this is random
but it was 3 days ago i think.
when i felt a need for change

so i'll be moving here:

somethings triggered it. but i guess it's always better for everyone? X)


Monday, April 18, 2011

I think it scared her...

"I think she was afraid to love sometimes. I think it scared her. She was the type to like things that are concrete, like the ocean. Something you could point to and know what it was. I think that's why she always struggled with God. And I think that's why she also struggled with love. She couldn't touch it. She couldn't hold on to it and make sure it never changed."

"Sometimes it's those things you can't touch that you need to hold on to the most."

Sunday, April 17, 2011


maybe i am u
n u are me
n i give u more pain
then joy.
n maybe tt's why
u had to take a step back
from me

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

i fell

u haf to understand
i come from a family of highly emotional n irrational creatures

n over e course of living this damned life
i haf fallen more than once to feelings i can't control
n i end up bloodied, n scaring those closest to me away.

i can't trust feelings.
it's brought me to the depths of hell n left me scars
i don't wanna live thru this ever again.

Monday, April 11, 2011

@ friend sng

n for that once when i said i love you, i meant it :)

Sunday, April 10, 2011

hear ye hear ye for this is my voice

An atheist loves his fellow man instead of god. An atheist believes that heaven is something for which we should work now – here on earth for all men together to enjoy.

An atheist believes that he can get no help through prayer but that he must find in himself the inner conviction and strength to meet life, to grapple with it, to subdue it, and enjoy it.

An atheist believes that only in a knowledge of himself and a knowledge of his fellow man can he find the understanding that will help to a life of fulfillment.

He seeks to know himself and his fellow man rather than to know a god. An atheist believes that a hospital should be built instead of a church. An atheist believes that a deed must be done instead of a prayer said. An atheist strives for involvement in life and not escape into death. He wants disease conquered, poverty vanquished, war eliminated. He wants man to understand and love man.

He wants an ethical way of life. He believes that we cannot rely on a god or channel action into prayer nor hope for an end of troubles in a hereafter.

He believes that we are our brother's keepers and are keepers of our own lives; that we are responsible persons and the job is here and the time is now.


head over heart

and it is only in times like this

am i glad for the constant reminders

together with my pride n ego

to keep me head above my heart

n to let those sweet nothings

ring empty

Thursday, April 07, 2011

in memory of those who passed before us…

it is scary because i think most of our pain are from our own imagination & fears. and in our minds these sufferings seem to occupy the whole world. but in reality, its really no big deal.

and that’s why it’s so scary.

how our mind can condition us to believe that the pain is so much bigger that there is no room for hope and ultimately we drive ourselves to either physical or spiritual death.


i nvr deleted that msg.

it serves as a constant reminder of how easy it is for anyone to fall into that bottomless pit hole, never to see light again.

“I see, but I cannot show;
I feel, but cannot express.
Words come, but will not go.
I fly only in darkness,
A creature of the night,
A child of confusion
Without direction.”

- Anon.

Did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded And that heaven is overrated

Wednesday, April 06, 2011


The word "ciao'"' (Italian pronunciation: [ˈtʃaːo], English: /ˈtʃaʊ/) is an informal Italian verbal salutation or greeting, meaning either "hello", "goodbye"

The word derives from the Venetian phrase sciào vostro (in Italian schiavo vostro) or s-ciào su literally meaning "I am your slave". This greeting is analogous to the Latin Servus which is still used in a large section of Central/Eastern Europe. The expression was not a literal statement of fact, of course, but rather a perfunctory promise of good will among friends (along the lines "if you ever need my help, count on me").


Tuesday, April 05, 2011

this is what's on my mind

twice i spiraled out of control because of u

tt's how bad i am at managing myself

i'll pull u down.

together we'll drown.
i wish u hadn't said a word

i wish u hadn't intervened

but then again.

maybe it was better tt i knew.

but things were already in perspective,

or was it?

n it will end. somehow.
1314 is for e dellusional
i think i haf commitment issues.

i'm good at getting myself to believe that there's nothing there.

at all.

n the stars were pretty tonight =)

Sunday, April 03, 2011

to live

To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering.