Wednesday, May 04, 2005


current status...: trying to hold my nose in place.. this flu sucks

facade[noun]:an outward appearance, esp one that creates false impression

the question is do we all have one? or maybe some of us just bare our hearts and souls for all to see, no shame no fear... who deserves more applause? one that hides his inner feelings well? or one that does not have a facade...
fascinating isn't it? how a facade can be what others want to see and yet has some thing more that what u see... just like the buldings in china..
have u ever looked at a person and wondered, is this him? or there more to him than what u see? have u ever wondered what is truly inside? and once in a while if u do get a glimpse, most of us would be so shocked because what might appear to be a perfect appearance turns out to have a rotton core. whereas some whom u assume to be rotten to the core turns out to be someone whom u might in time respect? which one do u belong to?
many times when we do catch a glimpse of what is inside, u wonder if what u have just witnessed is true or not. is a trick to make u believe what he wants u to believe? or is it truly some bits and pieces of his inner mind and soul? what is true and what is not? every thing seems to be so blurred... nthing is defined.. u set the boundaries, u follow it. the definitions changes over time as u are exposed to more blood and gore.... just like life, like friendship, u can't expect it to last, what u can do, is just to cherish what is left of it and hold on to whatever that is available to make this friendship last. yet most importantly, u should make sure that what u are holding on to is not a dellusion, a dream of what used to be, what is present, and what will be... things don't work out that way.. it just doesn't..
for once in life, i found peace, i found me... however, nt sure how long this peace will last... i'm no longer troubled... let things be as it is... if u have tried ur best to change it but nothing budges, why tire urself out?
maybe this is a sign of realism..
don't know why.. troubled over BGR? maybe... hah.. childish me.. but maybe cus it's a trend... that's why i'm affected... but i shouldn't change... to change for the sake of this... i can't afford a revolution. let things come, let the wind bring me whatever it wants to... i leave it up to wind... let it come.. let it come..
i smile to myself...... i'm free..

~I would have you smile, not grief for those whose time has come

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