presenting to you, a masterpiece of internet designing!!!! ta-da! *unvields*
sm background information
on Thursday, April 06, 2006, NYJC's website got hacked by a group of iranians (apparetly) which greatly fascinated me & echizen... so whoever wants to laugh, take a good look out of it...
btw i think e colour combi are quite o.o
it wasn't that i didn't want to....
it was that i couldn't...
maybe it didn't make much of a difference to u...
but it meant so much to me...
i guess that's what makes humans different...
tt e heart is nt as easily read as we initially thought it would be
i observed how ironic e world when we consider the fact of how wishes are being granted...
i had wished to die from over donation of blood & my wish was granted (nt wholly, but partially is gd enuff for me), i fainted
i had wished for bird brain to dissapear out of my sight, he didn't, he became more persistant in pissing me off instead...
& lll said e wrld is fair, my ass, maybe in e future yeah bt now no...
considering the fact tt i've been alive for 18 years, i'm abit sua ku in tt sense...
but i don't deny e fact that i was initially overwhelmed by panic by fear but i guess the only thing tt was going in my head was just walk to tt damned bloody table & die...just let me have a place to rest my tired body be4 i die.. & i made it there... so proud of myself...
everything just went black... maybe some hazy stuff here & there... i only rmbered that i held on tightly to my wallet as if my life depended on it... i'm such a money face...
life has been good to me so far... failing exams, lousy grades, lousy classmates, lousy teachers who only excel in bowling... what more could i have expected from this place of comfort, and i so love myself for even choosing to place myself in hell... i should have gone poly & died my ass off when i had e chance, get a diploma, earn money & lighten their(her) bloody workload...
i guess there is always e bad thing abt being e eldest of a middle incomed family, u're expected to lighten e load... and that became a rule...
on a lighter note
i've been reading up on suicide...
the mentality of suiciders....
i guess in the end, after going through 2 very unpersonal deaths, i've learnt to view death as a part of a cycle, the ritual of returning to where we came from - the soil...
but who knows... i've nvr experienced a personal loss before... for me, ppl just fade away... to a point where they pop up once in a while in ur memories to remind u that u've once known them...
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