sudden feeling of frustration...
i have lots of things nt done & it's piling on to my stress load....
christmas gives me headaches...
1. hcl pw project (DAMN U DAMN U OK!!!)
2. presents...
3. 3 tests & lots of damned homework
URGH... the sight of a croakoach just freak the nerves outta of me & is the catalyst for this whole chain reaction crap...
it sucks to be a santa clause of reality cus u are constrained monetarily & u dun have enuff time...

btw i was reading thru my past entries in open diary & i think i sounded... idiotic... it doesn't mean that i dun sound idiotic now... it's just that my idiocy has evolved to another level & perspective...

extract:

thoughtful...

8/16/2003

nicez day..nice weather...

watchin e repeat telecast of our country's ndp parade...dun really feel anything cause i'm not really a great fan of PAP, the political party of singapore. i'm just took more notice of this yrs parade cause our sch participated in it this yr! yeahs...i sort of miss the practice...though i'm juz a lousy reserve...i'll miss e days

mark lee is behaving stupidly on e screen...lame guy...

i just read a newspaper article about stress of students in s'pore, about suicide of 2 students.... i wonder if the kill themselves to escapre frm e problem or frm something else? i heard frm my sch mate that one of my classmate slit her wrist...weirdo..i wanted to do that lasy year but didn't haf e courage to do it...i sux as usual.

my thoughts are suddenly disrupted by mark lee screaming hysterically on e screen"HAPPY BIRTHDAY S'PORE"...darnz

suicide....ppl sae only weaklins do tt but i wonder... however..does death really solve everythin? or do u juz wanna run away...?

this was my second entry... my first entry sucked... not like this didn't... the only thing i liked abt this entry is the font.. someone just KILL ME...
anyway i did a analysis & this was what i found out of the 101 entries tt i wrote before switching to blogger.
1. almost every entry contained the name of a PRC scholar... egs. dwjj, zj, cj, zsr go figure
2. most entry was of how life sucked because of CLDDS & e lousy president
3. i wld constantly lamented abt my grades, because the fact is... i kept flunking my science & maths subjects. i wld lament at how the wrld is unfair, how the education system sucked... blah blah blah...

this is boring me...

~Do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment. Even the very wise cannot see all ends.

~All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.

i need a plan... a long term one to sustain me thru all this shit... it's nt helping tt i'm nt talking to anyone now... i dun feel like talking... i'm just authistic... not artistic.. URGH

damn it... i think i'm going to have a second asthma attack because of stress.. and it's during the HOLIDAYS!


philosphies dun save lives that are hanging on the line... to hell with the world...