it's the thought that counts...
yet when i look at reality...it always tells me otherwise...
it's the thought that counts...
somehow or rather, this sentence seems to be used to comfort people who are not able to afford a very expensive gift...

maybe it's because i've low self esteem... that i am not able to afford that much makes me more sensitive/suspicious of people's reaction after they receive the present...
to put it simply... i'm just plain weird...

if there is anything that i didn't prepare enough in social skills... it is the gatherings, gatherings & more gatherings that make me very sick of socialising... & it's not just any gathering... it's the gatherings with people who simply do not take into / or show little consideration the economic status of other people that piss me off the most...
it is at this gatherings where i feel most depressed... because people seem to think that money just miraculously appear in the purses and thus waste no effort in trying to spend it... they think it's an enjoyment... i think it is a torture... and the worse thing is i've been made to go through this ritual constantly... and even more frequently during the holidays... call me a miser or whatever u wanna call me....
i'm just poor...
i just can't stand it when i have to go through this ritual of lowering my self esteem everytime i go out with people... it's tiring & depressing...

and the lep web is making me worry too...

haix... when will all this ever end?