Monday, July 10, 2006

of pins & needles....

it's horrible. to have 3 needles sticking out of ur scalp, or shld we say punctured into ur scalp. u can't move ur head or ur face muscle cus e pain is amplified & u can't squint frm e pain too cus it doesn't help with e situation.

i hate sinus. i can't use western medication cus if my sinus doesn't act up, my skin will be red & itchy & in worse situations, u'll get pus & infection & all those shit. so now i'll need to have 3 needles inserted into my scalp once a wk. now i know why patients of long term diseases get depressed easily. e pain itself makes u very drained & weak, & a thought of having to endure e pain again makes u even more drained. e medical fees doesn't come cheap either. $20 a wk adds up to $80 a month. >< & worse. i went to research on e dangers of acupunture just now & i came up with this. now i'm having a phobia of him puncturing my skull & killing me.

Hematoma may result from accidental puncture of any circulatory structure. Nerve injury can result from the accidental puncture of any nerve. Brain damage or stroke is possible with very deep needling at the base of the skull. Also rare but possible is pneumothorax from deep needling into the lung, and kidney damage from deep needling in the low back. Needling over an occult sternal foramen (an undetectable hole in the breastbone which can occur in up to 10% of people) may result in a potentially fatal haemopericardium.

ok so i'll die if he pokes me too hard.
actually i dun mind. since we all die some day. it's a matter of when, where, how etc. and doc said i'm nt a very healthy person too. like duh. weird slping hrs plus unhealthy thoughts with unhealthy lifestyle shortens my lifespan.

i'm nt bothered by death because i think of it everyday. i'm just figuring out what to do with e lifespan tt's given to me... & till now i haf not a single clue.

and i realised my blog is nt suitable for paraniod, sensitive or inquisitive readers. i shld rate it as M-18 or smthing. wait... everyone is almost 18 already rite? shit. ok R21 then. because i usually don't write names, & because i usually see a shadow of myself doing e same thing when i criticise e actions/characteristics i hate, i spend most of the time dedicating entries to tell myself to get a life & stop whining... which is a reason y i hate myself too. i'm so zi lian. i used to have a friend in my cliche called zhi lian. take out e h & pronounce it as zilian & u get zilian! amazing rite? ok shut up simin. not funny

btw, my tuition teacher was using my com to dl songs & he introduced me to this really lovely song
somehow i just love e lyrics. it makes u sad, it makes u cry.....

Micheal Buble - Home
Another summer day
Is come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home

Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone

I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know

And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aerorplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home

Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
But this was not your dream
But you always believe in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
And even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel alone
Oh, let go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home

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