Monday, July 24, 2006


Nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets.

there is this guy in lep room, who speaks with a weird accent, who is alone by himself most of the time, who sings chinese tribal songs when he's doing homework & bows to every senior he meets.

he comes to most ppl as odd, eccentric, or just simply some guy with e personality problem.

he's ostracized, not accepted by friends & seniors alike. it's like every action he makes screams for attention, & he never gets sick or tired of what he's doing so most ppl came to e conclusion tt he is just plain odd & sniggers when he does smthing funny like bow 90 degress to greet his seniors.

i wonder if he ever feels sad. i wonder if he ever hates himself for being different frm the "others". i wonder if he feels frustration for others nt being able to understand & accept him e way he is.

he reminds me of circle & square. i don't deny tt i always hit out at them. espcially square. when he fluants his almost "encylopedic" knowledge to us every single day & hr. telling us what shld be e correct ans, stressing that he has invincible debating skills, goes ard debating with anyone who has e mood to debate with him, raising his voice like he wants e whole wrld to know how knowledgeble he is, & thinks ppl who fail their hist ppl are nt human because e paper is simply just too easy(for him only). i wonder if he's ever thought if he shld change e way he talked or maybe his mentality tt ppl are lousier than him. i wondered if he's ever doubted himself & asked himself whether all this knowledge flauting wld get him anywhere. i wondered if he was like me, trying to search for my own identity, trying to look for a place in society where i can accepted as i am w/o being labelled as nuts.

it's these things tt make u not understand human. to not grasp why they can't be like everyone else. to not understand e insecurities & pain tt they go through when they hear e sniggers behind their back, the condescending tone tt ppl use when talking to them, when faced with other ppl's mentality tt they deserved e treatment unless they are willing to be someone whom they are not, a little less talkative, a little less proud, a little more thoughtful.

they are ostracized, simply because they cldn't meet e guidelines of what soceity deemed as normal. it is because they are special tt society hates them for who they are. u wonder why they don't change. i wonder too.

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