sometimes, i just wish that u did't care...
sometimes, i just wish u could care more...
isit a problem of me being emotional & all,
or isit a problem of ur eq being too sucky...
i don't know why...
sometimes i feel that everything bad that happens in this family is ur fault
u're the one who whines the most,
u're the one who always make it sound like the world is against u
u're the one who always ramble on & on abt how unlucky ur life is, how lousy ur kids are as compared to some invisible others
soemtimes i think u are just mentally challenged... or maybe u are just too pampered by ur parents ...
or to put it simply... u don't know how to treasure...
why do i feel like i'm talking abt myself...
how i hate genes... how i hate my similar behaviour as u
did i tell u that u're daughter is just as freaking crazy as people who are suicidal
did i tell u that it is always when i quarrel with u that i feel like life is not worth living any more
u always think i don't care... u always say i'm selfish... who's the selfish one?
everything is always about how u feel, u feel hurt that we don't tell u things,
u feel hurt when we flare up, u feel hurt when we don't respect u...
problem is, do u deserve it? u think by having us in ur womb for a period of 9 months plus 17 years of providing me with the basic accomodations is enough to justify this crap? u are so damn wrong...
u always treat me like a kid... both of you always do... i get calls from u like almost 2 to 3 times at least if i go out with my friends...
i have to describe to u the most detailled details like what time i reached that place, or what i did during my lunch break, or every single event that happened on that day...
i'm sorry do i sound overboard? the problem is i'm just pissed off & tired of you asking me to narrate to u what happened during that period of time in my life when u weren't around to witness it... and when i don't show interest or when i'm too tired to give u the exact details, u start whining & say that we're self centered & all rubbish
i'm amused... don't u do that to us too... flaring up for no reason at all when u are troubled with ur own kind of shit, screaming & yelling @ us like we're born to be ur punchbags... is that part of repaying you as well? to be ur personal punchbag?
then what are we? what the hell generation do u think we live in? kampong century? where results don't matter? there is not much cca stuff for u to fret about, where people during that time were more simple minded? WAKE UP! damnit... i just feel that u're childish, wishing for things that never exist, hoping that u're live in a condo or some other crap like wishing u were richer than u already are... who's the materialistic one?
i don't understand... why can u make errors that i can't? why can u commit every single mistake that u tell us not to do but u just blatently do it as if u were given the right because of ur priviledge as a parent?
everyone is suffering, everyone has their own problems... i just wish u cld know that... don't think that u're oh so heroic by seemingly bearing all the shit of the household... u're not the only one who fret...
i just wish u could just wake up... and stop being such a kid...