i dun noe why i'm so bugged by what XXX said a few days ago...
are u still the same?
are u still a attention seeker?
I BLOODY HELL DUN NOE
DUN NOE DUN CARE DUN NOE DUN CARE DUN NOE DUN CARE
it was a good 4 years...
or maybe it wasn't that good at all....
have i openly threatened myself with suicide before?
i dun recall....
am i still a bloodsucker?
sometimes i wonder why i'm nt nominated for somethings...
is there something wrong with me?
my attitude? the way i talk? the way i express my ideas? tell me man! fucking hell tell me...

i don't know why.... but i still defended her... maybe because we were once the same... or maybe we are still the same...
pathetic creatures of this worm infested garbage bin which we call earth
same same similar same same similar...
maybe she was right after all.... the shadows will always be there... no matter how hard we dispell them... no matter how hard we try..........

it's so ironic isn't it... my attitude...
failure failure failure.... just in some aspects i know... but... these are still facts isn't it...
i noe i noe...
i'm just wallowing in self pity...
go away....
or maybe i'm just doubful...
i can't trust blogs anymore....
but i still keep blogging like nobody elses business...

i wanted to put a welcome note that says fuck off....
but decided against it in the end...
i'm a model citizen of the bloody internet....

i want to move on... but in what direction?
what is wrong with me? i talk too much? i'm too sarcastic? i'm too irritating? i'm too high? i gossip too much? WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT?

there are some qns in life that we can never find ans to...
are these the questions which i'm nt destined to find ans to?


~maybe the worse & best thing one can say to a suicidal man is :"go on, jump...."~