white dragon lyrics

* white dragon

● 白い竜　　　　　歌/ＲｌＫＫＩ　　　作詞/宮崎駿　　　作･編曲/久石譲

月の海　かすめてとぶ
　　わたしのたいせつな　白い竜
　　はやく　はやく　もっとはやく
　　わたしの元へと

　　銀の鱗　血にまみれて
　　奪われた名前求めて
　　あてどなく　さすらう
　　美しい白い竜
　　いとしい白い竜
　　千の夜を飲み
　　千尋の澪に鎮め

　　錆の風　塩吹く土
　　わたしの高なる　白い胸
　　はやく　はやく　もっとはやく
　　豊かこあふれよ

　　青いたてがみは　火にやかれ
　　埋められた　河を求めて
　　あてどなく　さすらう
　　美しい白い竜
　　いとしい白い竜
　　かくされた　わたしの
　　わき出⊃る流れへ

　　千の夜を飲み
　　千尋の澪に鎮め

White Dragon

Flying stealthily over the moonlit sea
My precious white dragon
Faster, faster, hurry
To my side

Silver scales stained with blood
Seeking your stolen name
Aimlessly wandering
Beautiful white dragon
Beloved white dragon
Drink Sen's nights
Be soothed in Chihiro's waters

The earth breathes a rust-colored wind
My white heart throbs
Hurry, hurry, faster
Overflow with richness

Blue mane burning with fire
Seeking that buried river
Aimlessly wandering
Beautiful white dragon
Beloved white dragon
Come to this welling stream
That was hidden within me

Drink Sen's nights
Be soothed in Chihiro's waters

& it nvr changes....
i'm so tired...
if there is any thing that reminds me more of my weakness, it is through u...
frustrations, anger...
i am like this...
& u always think i don't love u....
insecurities

blheax...

my network is restored but damn my mp3...
e inventions of e 21st century can be such a bane in my life....
& my dad has to go all e way to central to get this bloody damn thing fixed...
shessh... i should have been more careful...

i feel e urge to just slp in e house e whole day....
this would be my greatest wish... to have a break... bloody break from sch, frm e sch's duck & a whole lot of teachers who get their pay for free...

i need to do notes for paper 1 & 2...
if i should ever fail chinese again, i can go die of carbon monoxide, get struck by lightning & die a terrible death....
i should never ever fail chinese...

THE LIFE AND DEATH OF KEVIN CARTER Visiting Sudan, a little-known photographer took a picture that made the world weep. What happened afterward is a tragedy of another sort.
BY SCOTT MACLEOD/JOHANNESBURG

click on e title to get clearer pict of what really happened...
i've always wanted to know abt what happened behind that photo.... now i know...

things that left a deep impression on my mind...

"I'm really, really sorry," he explained in a note left on the passenger seat beneath a knapsack. "The pain of life overrides the joy to the point that joy does not exist."

what really happened...

Seeking relief from the sight of masses of people starving to death, he wandered into the open bush. He heard a soft, high-pitched whimpering and saw a tiny girl trying to make her way to the feeding center. As he crouched to photograph her, a vulture landed in view. Careful not to disturb the bird, he positioned himself for the best possible image. He would later say he waited about 20 minutes, hoping the vulture would spread its wings. It did not, and after he took his photographs, he chased the bird away and watched as the little girl resumed her struggle. Afterward he sat under a tree, lit a cigarette, talked to God and cried. "He was depressed afterward," Silva recalls. "He kept saying he wanted to hug his daughter."

"Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" is the 34-lettered song title from the 1964 movie Mary Poppins. As a song title, it is a proper noun, but the word, and variations, has entered the English language as an adjective. It is one of the longest words in the English language.

The song describes using the word as a miraculous way to talk oneself out of difficult situations, and even as a way to change one's life. The song appears in the film's animated sequence where Mary Poppins is harangued by reporters after winning a horse race and responds to one claiming there are not words to describe her feelings of the moment. Mary disagrees with that and begins the song about one word she can use.

The word itself has obscure origins, pertaining as to when it was first used, but the roots are fairly clear, as Richard Lederer wrote in his book Crazy English: super- "above," cali- "beauty," fragilistic- "delicate," expiali- "to atone," and docious- "educable," the sum meaning roughly "Atoning for extreme and delicate beauty while still being highly educable."

it's a Fucking Freaking Freaktarded world where we just have to Flunk & Flop examinations & Fail them oh so terribly that u're just so Fascinated by all this Fudge...

in case u haven noticed, the world is full of Fs isnt it? bird Flu, Failures, Freaks etc...

god kill me.... why does the bad news always have to come with e gd news...
*depressed*
& i just have to work so much harder & believe in myself so much more...
i guess i've been just wallowing in self pity in e depths of low confidence lvl for too long that one sort of forgot how to soar...

& i can't find excuses, i'm just too tired to even live a lie...

i used to feel that u only use to feel jaded in a different context.... now i noe, with the pressures of society squeezing e shit out of us, we don't even have a damned childhood & blessed teenage years & being forced into adulthood by coming into terms with shapes tt simply dun shut their fucking mouths & birds that haf no brains... but in the end, i end up scoring like e one i hated too.... ironies ironies isn't it?

the fact that i wasn't even plagued by anything surprises me... what have i lost? what have i given up that resulted in the me today... the me i hate...

maybe i knew all along... that some things, u just can't let go....

& here i cry in e middle of the night, w.o fears, w.o tears...

i feel like puking my dinner out.... i feel unwell *faints*

& i haven been seeing zhixin in sch for quite a while too... e lep room seems so much quiter w.o her.. (is tt a gd thing or a bad thing? XD *grins*)
& stupid faith has exams so i wun be seeing her ard too... yes darling pls go & slp or else u might juz lose ur way in sch

i'm so afraid tt all these will nt last... it's kinda of freaky... & i dun blame it on paronia since teachers always have this tendency to miscalculate my marks & award me with higher marks, only to have me finding out later that i actually got much lower... *foams* * prays hard*

my hcl hasn't been good... shit... *STABS MYSELF*

we fall in love because of curiousity, we fall out of love because of reality...
true? i realised tt i can actually brainwash myself to nt believe in smthing but this process takes me ard half a year before it really works... although it's quite a painful process though... haix... self denial... sighx

A Seiyū (声優, also transliterated seiyū or simply seiyu) is a Japanese term meaning "voice actor."

Anime
In the case of anime, it's all about timing the recording of your character's voice to the picture on the screen. Before completing the recording of the role, there are two different methods of prescoring. In Japan, the most popular method is to do the dubbing after the animation has already been completed (although, depending on the production schedule, the dubbing may be recorded before all of the animation is complete).

just general information..haha... i finally found out that the animation of e anime comes first, followed by e dubbing... & eng voice dubs for jap anime is horrible so they shld just forget abt eng dub & read subtitles... or else it's just make e anime damn childish & unbearable...

tmltmltmltml....
smtimes, we just push everything to ignorance...
& i felt so hurt... but i guess superstition doesn't help either....

and we wish for everyone to go away
to just shutup & leave us alone....
and we say that we are alone... which is emtionally incorrect but factually correct...isnt it?
some ppl go away, some ppl stay...
maybe through silence we learn....

I HATE OLD NAGGERS
LEAVE ME A-L-O-N-E
JUST S-H-U-T U-P!!!
BLHEAX....
& i feel so tired all of a sudden...

慢慢失忆
所有和你的事情必须忘记
慢慢心痛
没有人发现我和从前不同
一直逃避　我以為闭上眼睛就能忘记

我们在盲目追求这一切的荣誉和光荣的当儿
可否知道自己失去的是什么？

那不是勇气，那只是虚荣，追求到后又能怎样呢？

e good thing abt bein human is that there are no 2 ppl tt is exactly e same
e bad thing abt bein human is tt there isn't a exact formula tt u can follow to bring up a perfect person...
& it get's so tiring sometimes... trying to search for smthing u know don't exist....or tt it may exist.
to get back into a shell.... to try to get back into something that does exist, but doesn't have enough space to contain e past....
the future is always more powerful than e past because u're given e power of choice in e future while u're only allowed to regret abt something in e past...
it's so ironic that i'm becoming a person i don't want to be
or maybe it's by coming into contact with that person do i realise who i truly am?

we all need to run away sometimes... into something unreal... from e pain, e sorrow, e anger, e hurt, e things that try to drown us out... why are we both stuck in a situation where we lose control of things we used to control with ease? or have we forgotten how much tears & anger have we given up for e results we have achieved? what happened to u? what happened to me? or is it only me?

it's no use trying to be strong... because ultimately, what u maintain is only an image...
i am who i am... this is what we always say... and this where we're always lost too...
at this point of time where u realise that everything has become a burden, & living too has become a chore.... what have u truly lost? hope?

in our relentless pursuit for ans, everything else becomes a burden, a burden u so wish to throw away... but when u do arrive at the ans... what do u get?

why must we always go on like this?

there's always this one big main reason i don't get manga & i nvr will... (refer to attached pict) will someone kindly tell me what just happened in that pict?

i guess that's e reason why i don't fare well for pict description for oral exams too... sighx...
i always have this problem when reading manga... even after my attempts by ppl who know what exactly is going on in e manga to explain to me to read from which box to which box... i'll just go "o.O huh?!!? did smthing just happen?" when i read it... so yar... kill me for being stupid..

anyway... i suddenly have a immense craving for this ayumi song... i have no idea what e song title is because i dun understand jap plus e lyrics... and e damn part just keeps playing in my head... so i need to play e whole song to clear it off my brain.. >< am i making sense? i know it goes smthing like kimi ni? & e music's quite bombastic @ e beginning too... *pulls hair* i tried looking thru all e ayumi lyrics but it didn't work... *foams*

i've been having this immense urge too to just pop back into cedar cldds... just to haf fun.. haha.. oh well.. i wanted to pass smthing to jj todae but i cldn't get out of bed... sheesh.. *trots off to slp again*

we always take the effort to note how stupid other ppl are but always end up doing something stupid in the end as well... if so why bother e effort?

i'm afraid u'll hate me
i think u hate me
i know u hate me

& eventually paranoia will ruin me

Then, whatever will restrain
the coward reasoning in my brain?
I think it will be that i am mad to see
the whole performance and what the end will be
--Keith Douglas 1941

IT IS FINALLY OVER....
it also means my death is just a few days away...
it's so sad that i have to get back my results together with my auspicious week.... that sucks alot believe me.... i dun even dare to talk to any j2 teachers for fear of being slaughtered.... nt that vincent toh cares... i mean when did he care? *foams @ mouth*

meanwhile, i shall start thinking chocolates & positive & start studying some more... i shld start making notes.... i should stop slacking... and i should sound so determined... sighx... meanwhile, faithy & lian are like at a different part of e world cus they haven take their exams so i should just cease contact with them? hohoho... *sniggers* but yar... jiayou!

i went shopping alone today in sim lim... hoho... & i heard this wonderful song that was blasting out of a speaker... actually, i was attracted to e tune only since i couldn't figure out what the person was singing... it sounded like he gt constipation of some sort... but yeah... u've guessed it... it's none other than other gay/jay chou...

oh... btw, i also decided that guy with fringe kinda ooze out of sex appeal... as a faithful history student who hasn't been passing history with fantasting results, i better start practicing my essay writing skills by substantiating it with egs...







will horneff... no he's not a giglo or smthing even though he's quite unknown to most ppl... & i dun think he's in e entertainment circle anymore... i first saw him in some show abt gorillas, born to be wild... yeah... i've been in love with him ever since... i'm loyal okayy

after which i found out that real life cute guys were nearing extincting so i turned to fantasy....









introducing.... [鋼の錬金術師] [エドワード・エルリック/朴璐美] [ シャーマンキング] [麻倉 葉/佐藤ゆうこ]

tada! yesh & they DO have FRINGES... aren't they cute? *foams @ mouth again* *hyperventilates* look at their kawaii eyes staring out of the computer screen?!! it basically screams "LOVE ME" *huggles* ok i'm fangurling like echizen... hoho... heck man... i love yoh & edoward hehehehe

okay... i'm crazy

(p.s: so... now i shall declare that i only love guys with fringes! sexy fringe too!)

echizen ryoma! ryoma echizen jasmine! wadever just echizen ryoma (since u're married to him already i bet u took his name as urs too rite? hoho)
yesh thank u so much for e very kawaii handmade card... so filled with ur love rite now... thank u... it made my day... thank u so much..

yesh gp sucked, like a straw... u cld just literarily suck that bloody gp with a straw... i hate gp plus all bloody hell exams... surprise surprise isn't it? such is a life of a bottom 10% failure of nyjc & in general, singapore jcs... and such is my life that i BLOODY HELL HATE IT! HOW LONG AM I GOING TO BE STUCK HERE?
i know that no one knows the ans better than myself... and i hate myself for not being able to just stick to that bloody formula of studying hard till ur head fall off and ur eyes popped out of ur sockets & u can't slp cus of stress... i need it... this is the bloody lifestyle i need... there is no other alternative... i so damn suck

i know i haven been a good fren recently...
or maybe i haven been a good fren at all...
all i can say is i'm sorry...
cus all this is driving me crazy...
i tried to make promises...
but i know i can't for fear of breaking it again...
i'm just ur pathetic acquaintance..
i'm really sorry....
i just wish u knew...
and i want u to know...
because i can't even help myself now...

Sucker In Mind Incapable Numb = simin

i am blogging... cus i cannot find ans...

there is no definite ans...

somehow i gave up along the way...

somehow... i just gave up...

a.l.o.n.e.

sometimes e ans is right in front of u, & u dun see it...

i don't know why i can't see it...

i need to change my specs...

somehow... somehow...

excuses...?

i really dun noe...

u noe what, i hate hypocracy, i hate dogs... especially walking dogs (yes do a literal translation to chinese & u'll get what i mean)

i hate general elections in singapore...
no it's nt because i'm apathetic, i wanna know what's going on, i wanna know what the different political parties are advocating, what policies do they plan to implement for e good of e ppl?

the news is getting increasingly ridiculous, with lian he wan bao actually reporting that the MPs had a mini debate in the parliament on whether dyed hair makes them look younger or not.. i am sooooo surprised.. can u believed it? & they concluded proudly that DYED HAIR MAKES U LOOK BLOODY DAMN YOUNGER BUT IT'S ARTIFICIAL SO NOT GD LAR... GO & DIE LAR... they actually haf the cheek to hold this kind of god knows what lousy debate in parliament using tax payers money as their salary... god damn u assholes...
*throws hands up in disbelief*

& the mass media --> channel 8 & U news are nt faring any better too... when it comes to local news, it's just PAP PAP & PAP, how the PAP will do its best for e ppl, how the WP & their policies suck cus they don't take into consideration the minorities... god damn it how biased can the media be? and u proudly teach ur students that singapore is a democratic country...
what u see on tv is just e PAP attacking e opposition party with the opposition party having little chance to defend themselves..

& some idiotic journalist actually thinks it's ok cus it's NATURAL for any political party to want to consolidate their power... if so they shouldn't even have a parliament.. y nt just declare singapore a totalitarian state... that would make things so much easier wouldn't it?

& Youth Parliament remains a dream...

"when you dislike someone for being a realist, you don't really dislike the person, but rather reality"

hmm... so if i dislike idealist, i hate being unrealistic, impractical & those who are visionary?

what's wrong with being a dreamer?
they're too unrealistic, clingling on to things that do not exist, dellusioning themselves with romantic fantasies... they do not seek for the truth... they only find solace in things that are imaginary

what's wrong with being a realist?
u become too jaded, become too pessimistic & u dream no more...









je me souviens.... I remember

to my fren who smsed me countless times today...
i'm srry i cldn't give u a decent reply... no u're not a flirt... goodness sake... but i do agree that sometimes, ur actions do give ppl e wrong impression that u're interested in them, therefore resulting in urself always getting the unwanted attention from guys...
maybe ur sis came up with this impression because sometimes, ur actions give the wrong impression to ppl, so unless u explain urself to us, sometimes i get misleaded into thinking that u're flirting too...
as for acting stupid... hmm... maybe it's cus of ur slow reaction due to lack of sleep resulting in u being able to stand in e middle of e road & stare at a car instead of avioding it... so if ppl don't know u, they think u're acting stupid but u're not... trust my on that... it's just slow reaction time.. so pls slp early or at least get some sleep...
maybe try to be more aware of what u're doin or maybe ur actions when u're in front of guys... i think sometimes u're so used to doing that (plus e fact that u're frm a girls sch) makes it more possible for u to behave the same in front of guys & girls, therefore giving guys e wrong impression, whereas it might be completely okay with e girl...
hope u won't be too depressed over what ur sis said... don't dwell too much on it as well... just maybe try being more aware of what u do when guys are around... i have the same probs as well... blame it on a guy's high sex drive & stupiditiy of fantasizing...


my fish died... the white colour one...
my mum bought me starry underwears... she claims it's converse brand...

it's pathetic to see how my expectations of chinese has been reduced to just "dun fail too badly"

it's just plain pathetic...

i blame it on complacency, i blame it on stupidity, i blame it on laziness... but i failed my bloody MYE & EYE? what is there to be complacent? why is it that i just can't damn bloody focus...

i don't know what went wrong....
all i know is that that wasn't enough...
i wanted it to be over...
i wished so hard for it to be over...
and it was gone.....

and now i'm damned..

it's ironic how my mum's encouragement always makes me feel worse... because i know she'll turn against it in the end & berate me for everything gone wrong...

I DESERVED IT...

i rmb once tellin a friend that open communication is the key to a healthy relationship... be it guy, girl homosexual wadever...
because once the channel of comunication is open, misunderstandings won't occur, if they do, then not that frequently...

& now i find myself more unwilling to explain myself when misunderstandings occur...
even though i know how explanations will make things a whole lot better, will reaffirm a relationship, will clear suspicions...

i think i used to be more vocal in this sense... because i always saw the reason to faulty relationships as being not able to maintain an active communication channel & thus resulting in misunderstandings, misunderstandings & more misunderstandings...

maybe it's too tiring to be reaffirmed repeatly... cus what u have left is only ur insecurities... what others give are only superficial... something to just build up ur facade...

or maybe it's because my social circle has shrunk... that i tend not to face that much problems as i used to in the past... that there are things i choose not to care, that maintaining equality doesn't matter that much to me because no matter how hard i try, the problem is always there...
some things didn't change no matter how hard u try, because of time, because of pride...
since by saying so much, u only get so little in return, why say it? if all these usually puts u at a disadvantage... why bother to even make ur stand? it wasn't needed in the first place....

maybe i'm starting to learn... that as we grow older, many things are left unsaid... if u understand, then gd for u, if u misunderstand it, than too bad... u're expected to know... they think u'll know...
maybe that is the unwritten rule of adults.... maybe that is the rule of the society we have to live in... maybe it's like history... where maintainin neutrality is the best solution to all things...

s.i.l.e.n.t

today... society told me this... there isn't a need for u to speak, there isn't need for u to explain, we would have known... you should have known....

maybe there wasn't a need for me to know.... maybe that's why u didn't say....

maybe there was this barrier i couldn't cross, maybe it can't be crossed...

maybe it was never meant to be crossed....

the author of this blog, estelwen undomiel yang simin, hereby issues a challenge to everyone (specifically directed @ chee chee & zhixin aka 正常的阶梯) to see who can start a record of changing blogskins so frequently that even the owner of the blog itself will loose count...
MUAHAHA....
o.O
-_-"


----------------------

怎么...又下雨了...?
心里那种沉重,那种郁闷,那种痛苦,你能明白吗?
也许感情过于的丰富,也就变成了一种负担,也就变成了一个围墙,永远的把你困在里头,永远的...
这就是永远的沉默...

i tend to get depressed easily at night...
FMA & Shaman King makes me depressed too... despite all it's cute characters...
maybe life itself is depressing too
all e separation... all e deaths....
gawd... why am i even so emotional now....... damnit... i hate exams.... i can't study... i'm nt motivated....
why......

就是那个承诺,曾经的一个承诺,让我有了一个目标,但也时常让我感到彷徨失措....

and i'm so afraid everything will be too late....

Lesson One:

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle, and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared,jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson?
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.


Lesson Two:

A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree, " sighed the turkey,
" but I haven't got the energy.
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my dropping?" replied the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung,
found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung,
he reached the second branch.
Finally after the fourth night, he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Management Lesson?

Bull shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.


Lesson Three:

A little bird was flying south for the winter.
It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field.
While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung,
it began to realize how warm it was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung,
and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Management Lesson?

1)Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
2)Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3)And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

This ends your management course.

i dun noe why i'm so bugged by what XXX said a few days ago...
are u still the same?
are u still a attention seeker?
I BLOODY HELL DUN NOE
DUN NOE DUN CARE DUN NOE DUN CARE DUN NOE DUN CARE
it was a good 4 years...
or maybe it wasn't that good at all....
have i openly threatened myself with suicide before?
i dun recall....
am i still a bloodsucker?
sometimes i wonder why i'm nt nominated for somethings...
is there something wrong with me?
my attitude? the way i talk? the way i express my ideas? tell me man! fucking hell tell me...

i don't know why.... but i still defended her... maybe because we were once the same... or maybe we are still the same...
pathetic creatures of this worm infested garbage bin which we call earth
same same similar same same similar...
maybe she was right after all.... the shadows will always be there... no matter how hard we dispell them... no matter how hard we try..........

it's so ironic isn't it... my attitude...
failure failure failure.... just in some aspects i know... but... these are still facts isn't it...
i noe i noe...
i'm just wallowing in self pity...
go away....
or maybe i'm just doubful...
i can't trust blogs anymore....
but i still keep blogging like nobody elses business...

i wanted to put a welcome note that says fuck off....
but decided against it in the end...
i'm a model citizen of the bloody internet....

i want to move on... but in what direction?
what is wrong with me? i talk too much? i'm too sarcastic? i'm too irritating? i'm too high? i gossip too much? WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT?

there are some qns in life that we can never find ans to...
are these the questions which i'm nt destined to find ans to?


~maybe the worse & best thing one can say to a suicidal man is :"go on, jump...."~

你知道吗，每当收到你的信时，就是我一天里最开心的时候。。。
你还好吗？
其实，通过电邮互相保持联络，有时候是一个最美好的事情，那种真实，那种等待。。。
这一切的一切
就因为当时你主动给我写了那一封信，
我们两人，就因为变成了地球上彼此之间距离最远的朋友了....

maybe u just belong to another part of the world...
so real & yet imaginary....

yo
sorry, noe ur bz and all but yea
i got some wind of wat the talk tt day might have been abt la
juz ignore the negativity yea?
some ppl juz have alot to say
doesn't help to listen to the negative aspect
rather than let urself be bogged down by all tt nonsense and negativity
might as well juz pick up ur sword and fight sia
i think everyone can do it de
so yea
show em wat u've got
screw all the nonsense talk
prove them jokers wrong
ok la, said my piece
u take care hor
dun stress urself too much or overwork yea?
oh yea one more thingz
blue's the colour of the boundless sky too
hope tt u can hua4 bei1 fen4 wei2 li4 liang4
be as boundless as the sky
the sky's the limit

~thank u weikian....

time will tell...
time is always my best friend...
and my most hated enemy too...
time proves me wrong...
but it surprises me once in a while too....

maybe in 10 years time when i look back at this very day
i would have become more sure of myself
i would be able to recall all the great times i have spent with u
i will be thankful for all that u have given me
to make me who i am...

10 years down the road
i will prove to u that i've truly overcome all obstacles that have been bugging me since sec 2
there is no use in feeling disappointed in u for not being understanding...
u wouldn't have known
even though u insisted u knew...
the fears & the insanity that separated us so far apart...
i guess i hated u at that point of time...
but maybe i was blinded too...
i thought u knew i thought u knew i thought u knew i thought u knew i thought u knew...
that is what we always assume....
that is what always hurts us...
maybe there isn't a need for u or for anyone else to udnerstand this anymore....
maybe all this will past...
i will prove u wrong
i will prove me wrong....

Les etoiles sont belles, a cause d'une fleur que l'on ne voit pas...

got this frm chee's blog... haf no idea wad it means... the translater says smthing of this sort

"The stars are beautiful, because of a flower which one does not see..."

so... even though i haf no idea what it means, it still sounds beautiful....

maybe it's thru deeper understanding then do we understand, then do we learn to appreciate, then do we love & accept....

i still firmly that a person who has not gone through pain & suffering is unable to achieve his/her potential... cus it is only through all this that one grows, one learns abt his weaknesses & strengths & work on it... so yar... no pain no gain... growing up is painful...

anyway, i think ppl who blabber rubbish are rubbish themselves... it's irritating especially when ur words get misinterpreted... dun try to even act clever.... shallowshallowshallowshallowshallowshallow

so meanwhile, enjoy life, kill someone, get sued, and go to hell.... byebye....

snores.............

*author is cranky these few days.... *

也许爱情就是熟能生巧。。。

我疯了我疯了我疯了我疯了我疯了我疯了我疯了我疯了我疯了我疯了我疯了我疯了我疯了我疯了我疯了我疯了我疯了我疯了我疯了我疯了我疯了我疯了我疯了我疯了

你还爱我吗？
我是不是很傻？
你还爱我吗？

我不要跑了，我不要躲了。。。可是这一切。。太迟了吗？

不要走不要走不要走不要走不要走不要走不要走不要走不要走不要走不要走不要走不要走不要走

就是这种思念，心疼的思念，疯狂的思念，情不自禁的思念。。。。

这时候的你，是否在想着我？　是否是否是否是否是否是否是否？

我已经开始忘了，但又很想开始记得了。。。我不要忘记！我不要！

就这样，我哭了，但又不流泪了
就这样，我死了，但又还在呼吸
就这样生命就开始了，但也结束了。。。

FUCK FUCK FUCK!
URGH!
I HATE MYSELF
as usual, there is always a first time to everything, but why bottom 10%????!!! WHY NOW?!
quek can eat shit... i dun wanna listen to him talk cock & threatening us with retaining.... i'm already trying....

i just deserve all this...

sometimes, i wonder she is more than what i see...sometimes i wish she could just grow up & learn to see things from a different perspective instead of assuming that the world should just cater to her needs...

maybe i might be wrong... maybe i might be right too...sometimes, some things u thought to be so strong turns out to be very fragile sometimes, it's the other way round...
life is just so full of sometimes, that u just wish that there was more certainty, that things wouldn't just enter or exit ur life suddenly...that u feel a little bit sad...
i feel that mr duck of our sch comes from a communist country... if not he's raised there... his propaganda is horrible... and i pity my friends who had to endure this painful process of listening to him making noise...the worse thing u could ever do, is to brainwash somebody's mind, & claim it for ur own...

is my blog making u depressed?

maybe we all live up to some kind of expectations in life, like expecting my blog to be funny & all crap because i appear to be that kind of no brainer in real life... why do we even need to define
an image for ourselves? we can't we not live in a boundary?

we always assume, assume that all these things should be there for us, that people should always stand behind us supporting us, that promises will always be kept, that forever would definitely mean forever.get of this assumption mentality man... no all funny crappy no imagine ppl means that they haf no sorrows or worries. there is never a promise in life that is just definite...nothing.. nothing is for real...

我不知为什到现在还是没法打开心中的结。
我不否认，我一直在寻找原谅的机会，一个复合的巧合。
像似我做错了似的。。。
你曾经尝试过，我也何曾不晓得，我也知道你不想失去一个朋友。
可能是我无法再相信你，可能是你没有诚意，我不知道。。。我真的不知道。
也许恨一个人，就是一个负担，一个不必要的负担，一个令人憎恨的负担。

我也曾经尝试过，请不要怀疑我，我没有恶意，你呢？
我是因为自私，才有这种想法吗？
也许我俩都觉得很痛苦。。
但也许这个事，是没有了结的可能性了。

我拜托你，就让我走吧....

就在那一刹那，我和你就不在有任何瓜葛，我和你就不曾相识，也不会相识，我和你就成了世界上距离最遥远的人。。。

sadistic pleasure....
是那些矛盾的情绪....象是被遗弃,象是被遗忘,象是被出卖.
我似乎和舞台已经在前世结下了缘,有很多机会上台,但是就是没有什么明显的进步,但是...我始终还是忘不了朗诵时的那种心情,在演戏时的那种挑战,就是对舞台表演的一种热诚，一种兴趣。要我忘了，我似乎做的到,有似乎办不到... 总之,就是矛盾

每次谈起来，都是一种痛苦...是因爱生恨吗? 虽说每次表演后一定有一种遗憾,但那满足感也足以让我感到心血没白费...

错误是难免的,但是回忆却是美丽的.跌倒了,就一定得爬起来.
记得老师说过,在每次排练时就必须付出超过100%的努力和态度,这样子在台上紧张的时候,至少还能呈现出100%的完美表演...

这,就是舞台生活的刺激,那种让一个人能自我提升的挑战....

心里隐隐作疼,我就怕自己哭了...真是怯懦!但无论如何,我还是会为你们感到开心.

我恨啰嗦吧,怎么就和这烂东西纠缠不清呀...心是嫉妒,是羡慕,是祝福,是佩服...

常劝别人要放得开,怎么我就一直放不开呢?

people cannot gain anything without sacrificing something, you must present something of equal value to gain something. we believed that that was the truth of the world when we were young..

恭喜白云岗2006年演出成功!

4th march 2006....

You scored as Japanese. You should learn Japanese! Either or you are Japanese or you wish you were. Well, you're not going to transform magically; the least you can do is learn the language! Japanese 93% Latin 87% Chinese 87% Arabic 80% French 73% Spanish 73% English 7% What language should you learn? created with QuizFarm.com

My Personal Dna Report

yeah baby! it's kinda of accurate... love it!

sometimes... what the world needs is not salvation but humour... just humour to make the world go round...
if only we had a little more humour...

how does it feel not to feel....
how does it feel to cry but not have tears...
how does it feel to hate but feel no anger...
how does it feel when the ones whom u thought were ur closest friends turns out to be ur greatest enemies....
sometimes... it's better not to feel at all...

i'm starting to get myself mentally prepared... now what i need is the drive to keep me going...
life is a cycle... where we are like the frog swimming in the pail going round & round & round & round....
i love my tuition teacher, although he dresses like a contruction worker, and his mouth is filled with vulgarities of different languages, although he has a crazy sex life (don't ask me how i know, he shares it with us once in a while o.O) he tells me enough jokes to keep me sane...

c.e.d.a.r
it never fails to invoke a sense of nostalgia whenever i go back... the teachers, the ppl, the school...
even though i may be the only person there, even i may be wearing some begger clothing of some qi gai bang... i never once felt out of place... and that is when i always felt like somethings have become a part of me so naturally...
i miss cheering... alot... in fact, my talent in this area has been forcefully surpressed in ny... where ppl think cheering is stupid... so now i only go around declaring my love for everyone & anyone...

have u ever felt so out of place before? have u ever felt so betrayed by this group of ppl whom u readily called ur friends but in the end ended up ostracizing & discriminating against u...
i don't know... maybe i have... maybe i haven...
i have this tendency to just stick to a few friends, like i only had 2 good friends in pri school, more in sec sch, & a sizable no. in jc... i am blabbering rubbish...
maybe our greatest fear is the sudden realisation that we are indeed alone... that those ppl ard u, and were close to u, on the slightest disagreement, or because of other underlying factors accumulated over time turn against u... that u realise that u are truly indeed alone...

from e start i knew that forever was a lie, yet hung on to it for my dear life...
this was how we started... something happens... and this is how we end...
just fading away... away.... away..............
and then we are no more...

the sweet irony of a forever friend...