Wednesday, October 12, 2005

i shall write in point form, since i'm tired and i can't be bothered to type
things on my mind

1. lep farewell was a success.
many thanks to first & foremost yeo weihao aka my gorgor
jasmine aka jasgay aka mo li cha >.< who is my the other half.. i love zongwu 4ever
miao miao & not forgetting other people in the exco except for this one or two (shall not specify the number) ppl whom i do not wish to thank..

2. is my english making sense? nvm but yeah thanks to all esp my "darling" i/c & partner... it's been great... i love this feeling of accomplishment... look at me beaming!

3. my dear zong wu... i love eating out with her & just talking to her about anything & everything! it's such a lovely experience... ZONG WU ROCKS.. JASMINE I LOVE U!!!!

4. tml i'm going out with my dear blue aka wang junjie... miss her soooo much.... it's been a while since we've been together (pls do not think erhum... dirty) but yeah... i miss this sense of security... i miss everything bout her...

5. sorry to the twins.. pam & pris cus i wasn't able to make it to our date as we were dismissed late... sorry

6. date with back row on sun!! lovely lovely... watch movie or wadever... just going out with this gang makes me feel on top of the world! JULIA AND MELISSA AND AMY! U ROCK GUYS!

7. chatting to faith online at the most obscene periods of time at like 4am in the morning, talking about guys, life & any other crazy stuff u can think of. LOLx

now... for my other thoughts...
the world is my stage... this phrase suddenly came to my mind when i was on the bus home... and then i thought of the weird dream i had... it was something like a 3 in 1. a hongkong tv seriel + me & weilian + kaito kid
i know i's kinda of crazy... but maybe because i'm just deprived of love... i'm just curious what is a BGR like... as in how is it different from a friendship with a girl or guy or with my best friend? do bfs get more priority? do they get to touch u in ur butt or hug & kiss u while others can't? my senior asked me once how much would i give for a guy, or smthing like what would i do for the person i love... my instant reply was huh? i didn't know... really... i would be doing everything based on my love for that person, just like what i'm willing to give my friends now. i would like to see him happy, make him smile, just like i would want to give to my friends now. tell me how would a BGR be different froma normal friendship?
wouldn't it just be love? like as in a love for a friend? really... what's the difference?
den why am i still so curious? haix....

tt's why u hear me asking ppl, do u think i look like the type who will have a bf?
everyone will be like, yeah? yeah wad...
den i will go ohhh & be so proud of myself cus i dun look like a old maid... hex.... such a simple mind...

i have alot of crap on my mind... i keep having this feeling tt i'm a attention seeker... is a attention seeker = depressed person? what if i told u i used to be depressed, self multilated & wanted to kill myself before? tell me do i look like tt kind of person? would u still be my friend? or is my action here by telling u tt i'm a screwed person with a screwed mentality an action of gaining pity and thus seeking attention? are u confused? i am too... u wonder how ppl treat u when u tell them to truth... or ppl prefer juz prefer to see the perfect side of u...
the human mind is complicated... i'm tired

some tips to how i survive this world
1. trust no one... except for a few
2. give the very 125 look when u feel threatened by circumstances, ppl will avoid u like plague
3. trust ur instincts, we are afterall animals, the instinct is inborn to know what is danger & what is not
4. act dumb, it works, ppl think that u seem to not know alot when u actually know more than they do. use this to ur advantage.
5. act like u're a damn spastic bimbo & say i love u to everyone so that no one knows who u truly have a crush on.
6. avoid having rumours, it puts u @ a disadvantage
7. never show ur true feelings, it betrays ur thoughts & heart, causing u to be easily manipulated
8. never show ur detest for someone unless forced by circumstances. must follow singapore 2 pronged policy (social studies neh? mrs lim i won't fail u!) diplomacy & deterrence
9. observe & learn quick, time & tide wait for no man
10. be happy... if nothing works... just be happy cus u know there is always somebody out there who needs u. u may be the only person in this world but u might be a world to another person. (jianglai & junjie!!)

shall slp... now for a commecial break... excerpts from my sis's blog... have fun reading

i m drawing ballerinas for my banyueji. so pretty.they're choice lah.cldnt possibly colour them weird.ppl wld probably think those are candyce ballerinas. hahs. then i wld have to draw a male ballerina.. aka junyang. hahas.silly billy.i love my sexy ballerinas.bhb.'s good to have occasional ego boosts. X)) see.. my ego is ballooning. it's floating away. whee~heh.ego boost sounds like some boob job. except tt your boobs dun float away after the boob job. hahas.imagine the boobs floating out of the operation theatre and out of the hospital. eww. i am so porn.i shld stop.

~I would have you smile, not grief for those whose time has come

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