Saturday, February 18, 2006

my special thanks to miaoyu for enlightening me =)

i haven even started studying & i'm tired... btw i'm currently addicted to the song that jasmine sent me quite a while ago... Life -Yui
hehe * goes high*

i wonder why isit that i don't feel left out in all other grps of ppl that i go out with yet instead i feel most left out when i'm with this particular grp of ppl whom i used to hang out with...
isit because there's something wrong me? or with these people i used to hang out with?
there's always this constant reminder that i'm nt part of them... that even though sometimes they do attempt to include me inside, i still feel very much left out... or maybe it's because of our difference in personality...

i haven talked to myself for a while *yes i'm schizoprenic..*
why is there a tendancy for ppl to stayin cliques instead of being alone? because u're afraid of being alone?
sometimes the loneliest person in the world is not the one who is alone by himself most of the time but instead is surrounded by ppl & noise.
i read this line from some chinese essay like 5 years back? i dun know but it left a deep impression on me... i used to think that i'm the most lonely & pathetic soul alive, even though i was constantly surrounded by people... then i realised what made me feel lonely was nt because i didn't have enough people to crowd my social circle... it was because i didn't feel secure enough, that i couldn't trust my friends enough to know that even though they are not there for me in person, that they'll always be there for me when i needed them...

i'm watching a lame show where e gurl acts weak & goes gah gah over this stupid guy... then she wants the guy to hug her until she slp & all this rubbish like cannot live w.o the guy likedat
god can someone kill this producers? it's just teaching gurls all this wrong mentality which is just plan disgusting....

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