Do not ask what the world can do for you, but instead ask what u do for the world...
I guess this was what has been bothering me since my friend told me abt his theory of friendship...
Maybe true happiness & trust comes nt frm my friends meetin e long list of expectations set for them by me but rather what I can give to them in return for this basic thing they've given me...friendship
Nothing is 100%, it's no use being an idealist in this real realistic wrld cause u wld b measurin everythin against a ideal world tt is impossible to achieve... u would gain nthing but instead cost urself & ur friend of this bond... u wld be actively seeking for a complete trust while ur friend wld be trying their best giving u all of their trust...
I've learnt there is nothing called complete, there's nothing called perfect... shld I say tt I have a friendship with someone which I deem is ideal... it wld be because I wld have regarded e flaws as part of this picture tt we aim to create... nt because tt there is a total trust in each other...
Every human has their own secret fears & desires plus a whole lot of crazy emotions tt a lot of ppl will nt understand shld we attempt to publicly display them... many people r nt what u see, even for those do nt have double personalities, u wouldn't see the whole of them... I don't know... but I guess I've always equated 100% trust to no privacy... because I know tt there will always b things tt people will nt understand no matter how hard u try to explain to them because of different mindsets... these r e things I rather keep to myself, tt I rather bear rather than letting them strain relationships with people...
I wld rather stay in a relationship where there is no 100% trust but rather a significant lvl of trust which I'm comfortable with...
I guess it's too each his own...

Someone asked me whether if I felt lonely nt showin e other side to ppl... whether it felt lonely to be misunderstood as a crazy no image bitch/slut/flirt...
I couldn't give her an ans... even till today... maybe it has become so much a part of me tt I didn't know when this multiple personality thing started... I've just become so comfortable actin crazy tt I can't b who I am when I'm alone... (& I guess it's also one of the reasons why my blog entries are so different from who I portray myself to be on the outside)
I do keep a lot of things to myself I guess... like I would never ever tell anyone of my crush unless the crush is out of my life, like u wld nvr know how many ppl I actually used to detest in NYJC, like u wouldn't know how much I hate myself after goin thru a crazy routine of getting high & low & high & low in emotions...
Maybe it's because I don't want to have a final image of the person yet... maybe I just wanna remain neutral & look blur & dumb...
Or maybe it's because I'm damn sarcastic? Tt I actually do say what I feel but thru hidden meanings in sentences?
Can someone tell me what's wrong with my personality now?