Tuesday, March 13, 2007

what ifs

when all else fails, who will be there to give you the strength when u most need it? ur delusional theories? your narcissistic beliefs?

somehow i've lived through e first 2 wks feeling void, feeling like nthing has happened, or mostly feeling hopeful. ppl want me to take care, ppl want me to live strong but i guess whatever happenes, it is only ur own strength that will pull u thru, and maybe just prepare urself for wadever will come. i am preparing for the best, but have yet to prepared for the worst...

maybe ur gp will pull ur thru, maybe u'll be lucky this year. haha, who knows, who knows. somehow once in a while when ppl pop in on msn just to ask what is my As, i just feel like a piece of shit, flaunting my results as if nthing has happened. or maybe i'm supposed to act all sad and unwilling to say my results. or maybe...

or maybe i'm just retarded.

some ppl have lived through lives as cynics, believing tt no one is altruistic, believing tt no one will be there. i don't know, but somehow this has taught me how impt friends are to me, those who go all out to tell me i'll do fine, those who go out to me & tell me i'll live thru this. maybe i will... maybe i just will.


it amazes me to no end, on how moronic games can keep me fascinated with their idiocy for such a long time.

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