... is behhx

i woke up on sat thinking tt it was all a dream, & then tot of e different ways i cld die, & then wished i was dead.

i woke up on sunday feeling like a piece of crap, i wanted nthing, i wanted everything to go away, but i just had to drag myself to some fest & live life like i've won a million bucks & supposed to feel happy cus "there were others who did worse".

so by comparing i am expected to feel better. i am expected to...

i don't know.

just apply, just apply, just apply, don't wait, don't hesitate. u don't have much of a choice.

u shld have gone to work, u cldn't be trusted to be independent, u're worthless, u have disappointed me, u've wasted all my tuition fees on u, u cannot study, what more do u want me to say? wad is real wad is nt.

i can't even trust myself to study anymore, since i might just flunk it anyway. bwahaha.

so everyone is telling me to stand up & move on. i'm moving, i'm moving. just tt it hurts alot, no matter how hard i try to tell myself it's ok, it hurts alot. i'm sorry am i nt supposed to say tt? hahaha. i'm srry, i feel very happy then.

and wad's e purpose of this entry? to gain sympathy? to get ppl to comfort me? to move on? i don't know. hahahahaha.


incoherent. byebye