Goleman divides emotional intelligence into the following five emotional competencies:
- The ability to identify and name one's emotional states and to understand the link between emotions, thought and action.
- The capacity to manage one's emotional states — to control emotions or to shift undesirable emotional states to more adequate ones.
- The ability to enter into emotional states (at will) associated with a drive to achieve and be successful.
- The capacity to read, be sensitive to, and influence other people's emotions.
- The ability to enter and sustain satisfactory interpersonal relationships.
In Goleman's view, these emotional competencies build on each other in a hierarchy. At the bottom of his hierarchy "1" is the ability to identify one's emotional state. Some knowledge of "competency 1" is needed to move to the next competency. Likewise, knowledge and/or skill in the first three competencies is needed to read and influence positively other people's emotions ("competency 4"). The first four competencies lead to increased ability to enter and sustain good relationships ("competency 5").
i also realised that there's this term known as "faking good" aka socially desirable responding (SDR) when a person takes personality test. it shows how diffcult it is to measure emotions accurately. even in real life itself, there are somethings that we refuse to face ourselves & we will always try to create a dellusion ard ourselves in an attempt to convince ourself tt everything will be okay, thus protecting ourselves frm any emotional distress.
i guess life is just like taking a EQ test. unless u want things to work out, unless u want to know what really went wrong, there's really no other viable alternative or solution unless u be true to all ppl, especially urself. no one knows what u r thinking more than u do & it is only frm there do u try to reach out positively to ppl e ppl ard u & tt u'll not let ur emotions go out of ctrl.
what wld u rather have? to let ur emotions rule over u or let urself rule over them?