had orientation for J1s yest... had to admit it was kinda of confusing but it was fun all the same... to see the committee in action plus how e J1s interact... btw my junior didn't come so yar.. wadever..
i am brain dead btw... since thurs... i think it just sort of shut off after e "mental breakdown" on thurs...
and yes... i won't talk to u... u are one whole piece of crap so i won't talk to u... explanations, acting, trying to act pitiful... forget it cus i'm a much better actress then u are so u really just forget about talking to me to sort things out..
and this is why i love a7a so much
and to think i sounded so positive on faith's blog, now i sound so fucked up in my own blog...
i don't know...
maybe it's because he just played with my trust again and again and again... he just started a record...
i really don't have the energy to analyse whether he is kind hearted, or whether he has lots of family / personal problems, or character problems... it doesn't matter

"isn't good to have someone cry for u?"
i wonder... it is good to know that someone will cry for u... but i didn't feel good at all...
i didn't even feel touched at that point of time.. i was just overwhelmed by this guilt consuming me...
i hate myself for nt being able to control my emotions till now... it sucks sucks sucks... u have people who tell u to shutup cus u're pissin them off with ur insanity, u have ppl who think u're just no image pea brained idiot who suck in studying and wadever u do...
what do other ppl think of me... i wish i could know... i wish i could be more sure of the ans i found out...
but i guess most of the time i wouldn't want to know... i just wanna run away...