my special thanks to...

mood: moodless
msn nick: 四德PRC scholars,衷心感谢你们! 落红不是无情物,化作春泥更护花..

before i start whining or anything... i'd like to give my special thanks to these group of people who bothered to remember when i came to this earth to become an asshole
1. to first & formost, ppl from cedar
--> cldds juniors, chenjing, zhuang jing, junjie, the back row especially julia, melissa, amy etc
--> thanks for the warmest wishes & memories that u've given me... cedar rocks always
2. secondly, ppl from 5a7a
--> the ppl closest to me in 5a7a, siying, eunice, ee hui, radhiah (i love u all!)
--> and anybody else from 5a7a, not forgetting wenshu..haha... thanks
3. long lost friends... haha... not really...
--> angie, twins, ron, zhenhua, zixin, & of course my forever friend & lovely pen pal liu chang
4. basically anyone else..haha...
guess what, i acutally volunteered to be a ct rep but didn't get nominated... den the same feelings consume my thoughts, i'll go through this process where i start degrading & denying myself. By the end of the process, no matter what i think, i'll be drained & tired... is that even normal? it's like everytime i don't achieve what i set out to do, i'll just start getting upset & then i'll start to doubt myself & most of the time, my inner voice will start mocking me, saying how stupid & useless i am, then i'll feel very humiliated, very confused.. maybe it's because i don't believe in myself or whatever...
red jacket actually replied me through qq, i guess it's the only thing that cheered me up today? oh yar, & we managed to get a motorised scooter or whatever u call that.. meanwhile, the other times are like shit i guess...
i need to be honest, i need to be true...
~I would have you smile, not grief for those whose time has come