sighx...

my current stats.. : distracted, mentally drained..

alot of things weighing down on me... sch work, friends, family members' relationships... affairs of the heart.. i mean it's like dotx.. when u only hear about this kind of things happening to others, u dimiss it cus u don't think it'll happen to u. but suddenly these things strike so close, strike so close to ur heart, u become so affected though it does not concern u directly, it concerns people whom u love, ur relatives, people who are always with u, a part of ur memories.. so what now? i'm supposed to start a bra burning campaign? start a i hate all guys campaign? haix... so lame...
alot of times, i tell myself to grow up at look at the bigger picture, but i guess i won't be slacking right now if i had learnt how to..
haven't been blogging much, haven been writing much to my pen pal either.. i was wondering when would be the time when i really stop writing, stop thinking? when i lose my soul? when i feel that life has nthing much interesting for me to write about anymore, then i choose death...
i hate the way things are now, i hate sch, i hate my friends... can u believe it? i actually looked at the nygh bitch sitting at the other end of the room and had this sudden urge to cry?! i guess i was very frustrated and depressed at that time so i just needed an outlet i guess.
girls are too sensitive, in fact too damn sesitive that we sometimes let it ruin us... i just wish i shouldn't have been born that way. maybe homosexuals are best. it's because they have a combination of both, they might even have better social skills then others, both male and female alight.
i need to know my current standing, about anything.. i need a statistical report, like how well i'm doing in school, how am i faring at home and stuff... geuss i feel so lost in terms of spiritual guidance that i need numerical statis as a guidance... it's pathetic to see my mentality and judgement being eroded to this stage... it's pathetic...

~I would have you smile, not grief for those whose time has come