Sunday, March 13, 2005


mood: lost
msn nick: 也许我太多管闲事了…小百合..SaYurI~élraina Esteltaura

so this becomes my first entry dairy not made in opendiary... a feeling of home away from home..
this week hasn't been so good... it seemed like a year during the period when these happens. first was how i spoilt my costume... i was there trying to find a way to pay ms tan back while mum was trying to push this thing away by making it sound as if it is teacher who is at fault. dry wash u dumbass.. now i feel guilty too.. i guess i really do have to catch up alot on responsibility. reflect reflect...
den my friend self mutilates herself... haix... i know my condition may not b as bad as hers in e past but i suddenly realized how my friends felt @ tt time when they were tryin to help me but i stubbornly thought that no one was there for me, no one understands, why should i even disturb them...
so much to write... but my eyelids are slamming shut... if everything was so not real.. euthopia. pursue happiness... pursue.. how do u define happiness? by monetary, relationships or by interest...? what do we choose when all of them mean so much to me? does this policy even useful? interest does not mean u'll fill ur stomach..relationships are always so fragile and susceptible to the microscopic changes in life? a little stress here & there plus the need to please ppl constantly might juz be the fine concortion of a cocktail that results in even family members losing faith in one another..

take care... my dearest...

~I would have you smile, not grief for those whose time has come

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