Friday, March 25, 2005

bleed to death

mood: morbid
msn nick: i hate myself,for not being there to help u when u needed comfort the most

i'm close to dying of boredom. nothing sucks more than nyjc's orientation, be it one or two.
reasons as to why it sucks.
1. they organise an event that tests our iq level & assume that everyone's intelligence is comparable with that of a primary sch kid
2. some faction elders are so childish, that explains for the childishness of the skits & cheers (i wonder if they have a childhood)
3. the cheers are done @ the speed of that of a baby crawling, as a result, we either lose the tempo half way, do not even get spurred to continue cheering, or fall asleep half way. many, i observed, are just contented to let ogls finish the stupid job of making noises.
4. i am in the same grp as the SQUARE! can u believe it, this honour is bestowed upon me of which i cannot reject as it is too great and honour to reject. he carries his freaking laptop around as this is some big corporate which cannot live without him. the fact is, we'll all lead a happier life without him ard.
5. the circle is the ogl?! great, having the square ard is already a blessing in disguise, now we have a circle walking around in his duman pe shorts leading our new j1 students. do nyjc lack caring and responsible students so much that we have to put a circle in this task?! is such a magnificant sight, to see half of the cohort openly walk out of the school gates halfway through teh orientation , that one feels so compelled by common sense and any form of human reasoning that u just have to continue to uphold their cause and walk out of the sch gate as well.
i guess this 6 reasons are enough to support my stand... even my classmate who is an ogl was damn disappointed when he sees ppl walking out of this thing... who can blame him but i guess when he really stands in our shoes, he'll know why nyjc o1 & o2 sucks the life out of us.
so now, sch sucks, life @ home sucks as well.. dun noe why. i mean just like u don't need a reason to love somebody, u don't need a reason to say why it sucks as well. just that alot of thing we take in life for granted, sometimes, we neglect the things closest to us as well. and when communicationg breaks down, all others fall apart as well, even strongest bonds like family ties..
then when u suddenly feel like nthing is left in this world for u to live on, u think of death, death as a release, death as a way to see who really cared abt ur existance. what is death? a question i constantly ask, cause sometimes death seems like the only way, but other times, it seemed more like a sin.. or maybe because my stand in life in strong, i don't have a aim, just do well do well in everything that i do.. how do i define everything? anything that comes my way...
maybe that's how i'll live for the rest of my life? aimless, lifeless, a body w/o soul?...

~I would have you smile, not grief for those whose time has come

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