void

u noe they always have these villains in e movie, chiding e protagonist for being too sentimental or emotional. e sad thing is tt e gd will always triumph over evil in e end so tt all e gd ppl live happily ever after. somehow i pity e villains more. protagonists have such a gd life. they, or in many cases, we know that they'll always survive. somehow..

y be emotional & dreamy abt a rosy future? it's a whole lot of bullshit. like my mum always tells us of her stupid naive dreams of living in a big hse during her retirement years. i hate it when gives me all this whole lot of bullshit abt her retirement in condos, big houses & travelling overseas to european ctries. she says tt i'm too sensitive to all these when i tell her tt she's giving me stress & she shld just snap out of this kind of stupid daydream. which is also why i really hate naive ppl who have complete disregard for reality, ppl who r filthy rich & take it for granted.

it's like when i don't work, i'll have these panic attacks of nt having enough money for my future, or e fact tt i'm nt earning money because i'm sick makes me so fuckingly stressed up tt i hate being brought up this way with these kind of fucked up mentality. i'm really nt tt poor. i'm nt tt in need of money either. i don't want to b a fucking miser. i don't want to feel stressed up over every cent i spent. i dont' want to feel guilty if i spend more than i shld. i don't know... i guess deep down, really really deep down inside me, i'm just secretly hoping tt i can make her dreams become reality.

guess it's just a materialistic wish huh...

detachment...

i believe tt's e only way to survive "successfully"

just detach. & nthing will be there.

fuck it all.