search wiki, & u'll know that this is one of the values held above all else in confucian belief.
i don't know y, but after losing both my grandma's within a short span of a year, i realised that there's no specific time in which u have to express love to ur parents.
because as we grow up & have different commitments, it's difficult for us to spend more time with them. "i'd visit u over e wkends, ma" my mum would always say to my grandma, but things would crop up, like my bro wld screw up his test & she would have to spend e wkends tryin drill that dumb block of wood with more assessment bks while my grandma would wait anxiously for my mum and us to go and visit her.
we stopped going down to my grandma every wkend after my dad had to work on sundays. we grew older to care too much abt them as well. my dad wld try to drop by once in a while, buy her fav food, & then look very dejected as she whimpers or blabbers non stop or just stare into space while we talk to her. "if fengyu stops his damn tuition, den we would have money to afford a maid for ah mah wad" i grumbled.
between spending money on buying us things that we want & meeting our needs such as toys, computers & tuition or paying for a maid for my grandma or just visiting her over e wkends, how are my parents to split their love among their parents & their own child?
den when both my grandmas died, my dad spent a few thousand on a paper house, while ironically lecturing us about how these funeral directors like to prey on their guilt. "don't waste this kind of money on me okay?" he said as we stared at that big paper bungalow in awe. my mum wld start to blame herself for not being there at the last moment because she was working.
i think they tried. but when life's realities come in & u join e damn rat race, it's so difficult to spend time with them when they most need u because u have kids to look after, or u just need a break from life/work.
if anything, it's e things that my frens do that really impress me alot. like how my fren would try to give money to her mum cus her mum spends money like water and tries to pawn jewelery thinking she can get them back later. like spending time watching movies with her mum, or changing dates for outings cus she has to go out with her mum.
somehow i always thought that i can only be filial after i have a job, after i have e money to support them, or by showering them with gifts, i would by definition have "fufilled my duty as a daughter". but then again, maybe after i DO get a job and have e damn money to shower them with gifts, who knows by then wad other commitments wld i have.
by then, wld it be too late?