nadir

nadir, is the word of the day

nadir sounds like nair... i'm racist.

and i'm nt funny. i can't be funny when i'm stressed. i try but i still can't laugh.

laugh u bastard, laugh.

and really, shut up cus i'm trying so hard to make u understand wad i'm teaching but u dun care if u know or not. u just want to get it over quickly and done with. and i shall be stubborn and tell u this will not do. i will start nagging like a 40 year old hag, i don't care if the whole damn class hates me. i just want u to listen. not zone out!

u know it's so depressing when they just don't listen. because in some sense, ur lesson has failed technically speaking. at least for P2s, i know what the hell is going on. for P4s i'm as lost as u all are.

and den when i walk past other classes everyday, i see students busy, while the teacher is teaching, cutting little bits of paper, drawing rubbish or staring into space only to be suddenly aware that i'm staring at them outside the window with a little grin on my mouth. because this is what makes them students, and this is what makes them so irritating too.

and den at the end of it all, the only thing i can comfort myself is that i'm trying, i tried and i will continue to try without fail to make sure u learn.

nadir... is still the word of the day.