Monday, February 05, 2007

nt related. wadever

yes i know, pict is nt related to e content. who cares.

it's really saddening to be reminded time & again tt i'm really a ppl person. tt i'm nt a social butterfly or that i have very weird emotional needs.

having to put urself into e shoes of everyone in class, to know everyone's needs & personalities by the back of ur hand, to fulfil their emotional needs & @ e same time to inculcate their passion in learning, nt forgetting that i'm also responsible for teaching them e foundations to eng and maths.

so i'm paid $65 a day to multi-task, to solve disputes b/w kids of nt "fren"ing in other and e list goes on. once in a while, i'll become paranoid & start wonderin if this is e right place for me, if i'm teaching e correct thing, if they actually understand what is coming out of my mouth.

when u have no guidance at all, when u feel so lost as to what step u shld take nxt, i realised tt my personality is never suited to e "world out there". having high expectations means tt i'll be constantly, if nt, always disappointed with myself for being unable to conduct a proper lesson which kids can enjoy knowing full well that i have no prior training, & have totally no idea what e kids know or don't know.

i need to be reminded time & again tt i have to be humble, tt i have to seek for guidance no matter how tiring it is, tt i have lower my expectations, tt i'm nt really as capable as what i tot myself out to be.

all i need, is to give myself more chances to explore, to learn & to fall.

~~~~~

no, i don't understand why u have to whine abt things tt u will come to know abt sooner or later. it's nt a matter of confidence, it's a matter or hiding ur deepest fears & pretending that they are just nt there. so shut up & stop analysing my character ms tcy, u are such a m****** f*****.

3 comments:

echizen said...

Gosh, brings me back to that primary school days. And actually, kindergarten days too. This guy actually complained to the teacher in front of the whole class that I didn't want to friend him. *roll eyes* But hmmm, it's hilarious when you think about it. xD

And yeah, don't worry, I'm having a mid-teen crisis too. You're not the only one! Hang in there! :D

echizen said...

When it's all too much to bear, go whine at Yul. :D *glances at her YOMI desktop wallpaper*

(I shall stop spamming your comments page now)

chee said...

ms tcy?
anyway, hang on there, i'm sure things will work out..they're kids afterall