yes i know, pict is nt related to e content. who cares.
it's really saddening to be reminded time & again tt i'm really a ppl person. tt i'm nt a social butterfly or that i have very weird emotional needs.
having to put urself into e shoes of everyone in class, to know everyone's needs & personalities by the back of ur hand, to fulfil their emotional needs & @ e same time to inculcate their passion in learning, nt forgetting that i'm also responsible for teaching them e foundations to eng and maths.
so i'm paid $65 a day to multi-task, to solve disputes b/w kids of nt "fren"ing in other and e list goes on. once in a while, i'll become paranoid & start wonderin if this is e right place for me, if i'm teaching e correct thing, if they actually understand what is coming out of my mouth.
when u have no guidance at all, when u feel so lost as to what step u shld take nxt, i realised tt my personality is never suited to e "world out there". having high expectations means tt i'll be constantly, if nt, always disappointed with myself for being unable to conduct a proper lesson which kids can enjoy knowing full well that i have no prior training, & have totally no idea what e kids know or don't know.
i need to be reminded time & again tt i have to be humble, tt i have to seek for guidance no matter how tiring it is, tt i have lower my expectations, tt i'm nt really as capable as what i tot myself out to be.
all i need, is to give myself more chances to explore, to learn & to fall.
no, i don't understand why u have to whine abt things tt u will come to know abt sooner or later. it's nt a matter of confidence, it's a matter or hiding ur deepest fears & pretending that they are just nt there. so shut up & stop analysing my character ms tcy, u are such a m****** f*****.