sometimes when my mind goes blank and i've nthing else to think of, i'll naturally have a flashback of that day. e day when i cldn't rmb anything else xcept for my friend hugging me and den mumbling something into my ear over and over again while i just stood there, numbed.
i've always wondered how much i've moved on from there. technically speaking, as a student, u cld say tt i've nt progressed much. whereas ppl have moved on to a new semester with new books and lects and stuff, i'm pretty much stuck at e jc mentality, studying my $20 eng guide book & hoping i am still qualified to be a student.
but in a emotional sense, how much have i moved on? am i still who i am 1 year ago? where i felt life was pretty much down e drain since my future was screwed. even noe every once in a while, i wld ask myself if i'm suffering frm e repercussions of my cursed A lvl results. or if i'm more disadvantaged then my fellow peers. how do u actually define move on? when u stop thinking abt it? or when it doesn't hurt anymore?
and the most amusing thing is that during this period of time, i downloaded e whole 2 series of DEAD LIKE ME and watched it over again, which helped me become more positive. e many different quotes which actually made sense to me when i felt down & out. e many things which made sense in this sucky world.... like what some ppl say, in life, u just never know.
- Rube: You like spaghetti, George? I like spaghetti. I like board games. I like grabbing a trifecta with that long shot on top... that ozone smell you get from air purifiers... and I like knowing the space between my ears is immeasurable... Mahler's first, Bernstein conducting. You've got to think about all the things you like and decide whether they're worth sticking around for. And if they are, you'll find a way to do this.
- George: And what if I don’t?
- Rube: Then you go away, and you don't get to like anything anymore.
George:That night, a man was killed by a speeding car and I was there to take his soul. The street on which he died turned into a flowing river of light, and he hesitated at its banks. I told him to take a deep breath as if its the last one you will ever take, because sometimes in life, or in death I guess, you just never know.