Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Rain, Rain Go Away

by Robertson Kway

Rain’s concert sales were dampened by actual rain, says Sistic, and some Singaporeans are also considering suing the Korean superstar.

According to the ticket agent, only 7000 or so tickets were sold out of the Singapore Indoor Stadium’s capacity of 13000 seats.

“That’s like just over half, so not very good,” said Sistic spokesman Boey Tee Kit. “We didn’t understand why, since Rain is such a big star, and Singaporeans just lurve Korean shit at the moment.”

Investigations revealed that the recent bout of inclement weather had plenty to do with it.

“Na beh,” said Bukit Gorblok resident Loh Hor Leow, “Everyday also rain, and you want me to pay $200 to watch some more rain?”

When informed that the ‘Rain’ in question was a Korean singer, Mr. Loh remained unconvinced. “Who cares whether Korean rain or Singapore rain or got Koreans singing in the rain or donno what futt!”

“Yah lor,” agreed K-pop enthusiast Ting Han Ren, 15. “Normally Rain gets me all wet, but after the past few weeks of flooding and shit, I thought, screw him. I mean, the other kind of screw, lah, not the kind of screw I normally think about… uh, neh’mine.”

Some Singaporeans are also thinking of suing the soulful singer from Seoul.

“Bastard,” said Thomson Road plant nursery owner Boh Lui Liao. “My entire business, including my car and vans, were lost due to Rain. So now that he’s in the country, I’m going to get my lawyer to faster sue him down to his last plate of kim chi!”

Sistic says, however, that things could have been worse for Rain. “His name could have been ‘Flood’, for instance,” said Mr. Boey. “Now that would have made people even more too lan.”

taken from

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