if u're nt aware, my motto for life is dare to love, dare to hate
i am overwhelmed with hatred & digust due to some incorrgible blind monkeys & assholes who has morals but uses it in the wrong the worst situations & this is made worse by them trying to sound impressive & knowledgeble & fair when in fact, they are worse than what they truly claim to be. upholders of moral rights u can go KISS MY ASS because i HATE U & if i ever am to find out who the hell u are, u are going to pay!
the controversy started because of a msn conversion was posted online w/o the authorisation of the people involved. i admit tt it is a betrayal of trust when one paste conversations online but looking at circle & what he did, i wonder if he deserves this kind of trust & respect.. why shld a hypocrite be respected when he doesn't respect others by relieving himself of a leadership position immediately w/o giving relevant pple involved any notice. who does he think he is to have such authority? did he even respect the president? NO! he treated this CCA as a refuge where he supposedly could show off his talent (& in my opinion, he had none whatsoever) & bring greater heights to RP. however, his "noble" aspirations where nt fulfilled when he was not appointed e president, now he quits saying tt he had sooooooo many other commitements till he will just die under the wrkload & he is MR ALL SO BUSY YAR RITE tt he is tooooooooo busy to even tell others ppl before hand of his resignation tt he has to do it on a last min basis. did hitler teach u tt blitzking attack?
if these shit heads wanna aruge with me, i'm fine with it. call me biased but anyone who goes against my friend because of a stupid reason & a insignificant shapeless shape is definitely out of his mind & i will definitely stand up for my friend. if u call tt biased, then i'd say tt biaseness in judegment because of a friend is definitely worth it because friendships mean more to me than anything else.
~I would have you smile, not grief for those whose time has come
this entry ends abruptly... cldn't be bothered to continue since the anger isn't there anymore....
oh well... byebye
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Saturday, June 18, 2005
Atheist Quotes
i think there's smthing wrong with my com... i wrote quite alot of stuff but it sort of disappeared when i tried to highlight it... the recover post doesn't help...
so here i am... an atheist.. or maybe that's what i think i am for the time being. beats being a free thinker cus i think it makes me feel apathetic..
me & weilian talked bout religion... more specifically christianity & i started thinking bout religion & how it has affected e ppl ard me.. & am surprised & still puzzeled @ the profound effects it has on us... the support it gives, how it can juz save ppl frm depression...
maybe it's just an alternative to being alone... for me i think it's smthing that i hold on to when i feel lost... everyone has their own judgement bout relgion, their own skeptism, own fears & believes. but i guess e most impt tt matters is whether one is truly happy in what ever u do. no fear, no doubt.. so the most similar term i found for this judgement - atheist...
my general distaste for christians come frm e fact tt christians promote their faith... i once condemned a diarist for leaving a note in my opendiary saying god loves me. so what if he does or doesn't? towards religion my feeling is tt of apathetic youths towards politics. i didn't regret what i said to her, & i nvr will... though i've found an explanation for my doubts, my attitude towards any religion doesn't change. i dun trust it & i dun believe in it.
* an appeal to all christians who read this, pls do nt be offended by the content below, thanks*
What Is an agnostic?
http://humanum.arts.cuhk.edu.hk/humftp/E-text/Russell/agnostic.htm
An agnostic thinks it impossible 2 knw e truth in matters such as God & e future life with which Christianity & other religions r concerned. Or, if nt impossible, @ least impossible @ e present time.
Atheist
http://www.brainydictionary.com/words/at/atheist133233.html
One who disbelieves or denies e existence of a God, or supreme intelligent Being.
A godless person.
Frisbeetarianism, n.:The belief that when you die, your soul goes upon e roof & gets stuck.
God is real, unless declared integer.
"The only difference between God & Adolf Hitler is tt God is more proficient at genocide."
Humanity's first sin was faith; the first virtue was doubt.
It seems odd that those who scoff at sun worshippers are apt to worship a vacuum
"People whose history & future were threatened each day by extinction considered tt it was only by divine intervention tt they were able to live @ all. I find it interesting tt e meanest life, e poorest existence, is attributed to God's will, but as human being become more affluent, as their living standard & style begin to ascend e material scale, God descends e scale of respectability @ a commensurate speed."[Maya Angelou, "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings", p. 101]
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day;Give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish
God: The Immutable Chameleon; whenever e need is felt by one of his followers, He obligingly recreates himself to suit e occasion
more quotes frm http://www.animalliberationfront.com/Philosophy/Religion/Atheist%20Quotes.htm
Quotes of Reason -- in favor of atheism
http://www.update.uu.se/~fbendz/atheism/ath_qots.htm
"My spell-checker lacks the wrd 'creationism' in its dictionary, so each time tt word is encountered, an alternative pops up @ e bottom of my screen, 'cretinism'" E.T. Babinski
"An Atheist believes tt a hospital shld be built instead of a church. An Atheist believes tt deed must b done instead of a prayer said. An Atheist strives for involvement in life & nt escape into death. He wants disease conquered, poverty vanished, war eliminated." Madalyn Murray O'Hair
so here i am... an atheist.. or maybe that's what i think i am for the time being. beats being a free thinker cus i think it makes me feel apathetic..
me & weilian talked bout religion... more specifically christianity & i started thinking bout religion & how it has affected e ppl ard me.. & am surprised & still puzzeled @ the profound effects it has on us... the support it gives, how it can juz save ppl frm depression...
maybe it's just an alternative to being alone... for me i think it's smthing that i hold on to when i feel lost... everyone has their own judgement bout relgion, their own skeptism, own fears & believes. but i guess e most impt tt matters is whether one is truly happy in what ever u do. no fear, no doubt.. so the most similar term i found for this judgement - atheist...
my general distaste for christians come frm e fact tt christians promote their faith... i once condemned a diarist for leaving a note in my opendiary saying god loves me. so what if he does or doesn't? towards religion my feeling is tt of apathetic youths towards politics. i didn't regret what i said to her, & i nvr will... though i've found an explanation for my doubts, my attitude towards any religion doesn't change. i dun trust it & i dun believe in it.
* an appeal to all christians who read this, pls do nt be offended by the content below, thanks*
What Is an agnostic?
http://humanum.arts.cuhk.edu.hk/humftp/E-text/Russell/agnostic.htm
An agnostic thinks it impossible 2 knw e truth in matters such as God & e future life with which Christianity & other religions r concerned. Or, if nt impossible, @ least impossible @ e present time.
Atheist
http://www.brainydictionary.com/words/at/atheist133233.html
One who disbelieves or denies e existence of a God, or supreme intelligent Being.
A godless person.
Atheist and Agnostic Quotes
quotes frm http://www.math.unl.edu/~augustyn/godisdead.html
"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours." - - Stephen Roberts
"Two hands working can do more than a thousand clasped in prayer." - - anonymousFrisbeetarianism, n.:The belief that when you die, your soul goes upon e roof & gets stuck.
God is real, unless declared integer.
"The only difference between God & Adolf Hitler is tt God is more proficient at genocide."
Humanity's first sin was faith; the first virtue was doubt.
It seems odd that those who scoff at sun worshippers are apt to worship a vacuum
"People whose history & future were threatened each day by extinction considered tt it was only by divine intervention tt they were able to live @ all. I find it interesting tt e meanest life, e poorest existence, is attributed to God's will, but as human being become more affluent, as their living standard & style begin to ascend e material scale, God descends e scale of respectability @ a commensurate speed."[Maya Angelou, "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings", p. 101]
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day;Give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish
God: The Immutable Chameleon; whenever e need is felt by one of his followers, He obligingly recreates himself to suit e occasion
more quotes frm http://www.animalliberationfront.com/Philosophy/Religion/Atheist%20Quotes.htm
Quotes of Reason -- in favor of atheism
http://www.update.uu.se/~fbendz/atheism/ath_qots.htm
"My spell-checker lacks the wrd 'creationism' in its dictionary, so each time tt word is encountered, an alternative pops up @ e bottom of my screen, 'cretinism'" E.T. Babinski
"An Atheist believes tt a hospital shld be built instead of a church. An Atheist believes tt deed must b done instead of a prayer said. An Atheist strives for involvement in life & nt escape into death. He wants disease conquered, poverty vanished, war eliminated." Madalyn Murray O'Hair
All4Christ--Kiss my ass
gt this frm open diary entry... haha... she has a personality!
http://www.opendiary.com/entryview.asp?authorcode=D284056&entry=10045
All4Christ--Kiss my ass 4/13/2004
Yeah I named her/him personally. I know this makes me seem upset and gives her advertisement but the holy rolling bitch left a note in my diary saying "Jesus loves you!" Knowing damn well I am an Atheist, I suppose that is why she did it. I am guessing she is a girl.-Sigh- When will her people get it? I don't want to be Christian. I base all my beliefs on science and truth and IMO (in my opinion) truth is what exist and is what can be seen or felt like science or love these things are real because you can prove them or feel them or see them but God and Jesus can not be proven. Don't give me that "They are in the bible!" bull crap, because are we really sure the bible is a fact? Because if the bible is fact then how come it wasn't in refrence at the library or at barnes and nobles no it was in FICTION at both places. If it is fact it would be under REFRENCE. All4Christ gett of my ass okay. This is not your diary this is my diary. This is not Jesus's life this my life. If I chose to not believe guess what? That is how it goes. I chose to belive that I controll my life and what happens to me. I believe that once we die we are dead . I don't believe in fate. I believe that I will do what happens and that fate is a falsehood. The bible is anti-feminist and I do not chose to live by anything that is anti-feminist. Anti Feminent Quotes:
Genesis
2:22
Woman created from Adam's rib
3:16
Woman cursed: maternity a sin, marriage a bondage
19:1-8
Rape virgins instead of male angels
Exodus
20:17
Insulting Tenth Commandment, considering a wife to be property
21:7-11
Unfair rules for female servants, may be sex slaves
22:18
"Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live"
38:8
Women may not enter tabernacle they must support
Leviticus
12:1-14
Women who have sons are unclean 7 days
12:4-7
Women who have daughters are unclean 14 days
15:19-23
Menstrual periods are unclean
19:20-22
If master has sex with engaged woman, she shall be scourged
Numbers
1:2
Poll of people only includes men
5:13-31
Barbaric adulteress test
31:16-35
"Virgins" listed as war booty
Deuteronomy
21:11-14
Rape manual
22:5
Abomination for women to wear men's garments, vice-versa
22:13-21
Barbaric virgin test
22:23-24
Woman raped in city, she & her rapist both stoned to death
22:28-29
Woman must marry her rapist
24:1
Men can divorce woman for "uncleanness," not vice-versa
25:11-12
If woman touches foe's penis, her hand shall be cut off
Judges
11:30-40
Jephthah's nameless daughter sacrificed
19:22-29
Concubine sacrificed to rapist crowd to save man
I Kings
11:1-4
King Solomon had 700 wives & 300 concubines
Organized religion always has been and remains the greatest enemy of women's rights. In the Christian-dominated Western world, two bible verses in particular sum up the position of women:
"I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee."--Genesis 3:16
By this third chapter of Genesis, woman lost her rights, her standing--even her identity, and motherhood became a God-inflicted curse degrading her status in the world.
In the New Testament, the bible decrees:
"Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression."--1 Tim. 2:11-14
One bible verse alone, "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live" (Exodus 22:18) is responsible for the death of tens of thousands, if not millions, of women. Do women and those who care about them need further evidence of the great harm of Christianity, predicated as it has been on these and similar teachings about women?
Church writer Tertullian said "each of you women is an Eve . . . You are the gate of Hell, you are the temptress of the forbidden tree; you are the first deserter of the divine law."
Faith, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel. -- Ambroise Bierce
The First Amendment To The U.S. Constitution:
"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof . . ."
Direct quotes from FFRF.ORGThis is not my only reason for believing against the mythology of any religion. I have stopped believing for the longest time. No one can convert me. Not the bible not my parents or family not some holy roller that post crappy notes in my diary. My family for most parts have beliefs about God and Jesus but they don't attend church. I don't have any beliefs and I don't wish for people to leave crappy ass notes in my diary about how Jesus loves me. I really don't give a crap, because I can prove the bible wrong using a few scientific methods. We have evolved sense Jesus was alive. If he ever was, and we know how the earth really works and does things. I hate to say this but what happens when we all die and there is no heaven or hell or nothing in between just death? Because as far as I see it that is all that there is. God has never proven to be real in all my life of all my prayers of all my research God hasn't been there then and I don't expect him to be there when I die. AND BTW why is God a he? HMmm? Well all I have to say is I am atheist and proud if you mamby pansy Christian babies can't stay out of my diary and out of my notes then you can get fucked. Which will leave you feeling guilty because you believe in sin. I don't need to feel guilty ever ever ever ever ever ever Because I can do what I want when I want and not feel like some one is watching over me. If I weren't on my rag I could walk around my bedroom nude! If I lived in my own place I could walk around there nude and never feel guilty. All you christians have guilts and sins and things you can and can not do, the bible is a big guilt trip and a big book of rules. Fuck it being one with God isn't as free as it seems. What is free is being free of religion. I controll me. No attachments or strings just plain old me. Yes I live by laws and rules but not ones that a fictional guy tells me to live by.Thanks for trying to save be but no thanks. I don't need your prayer or your guilt trips because I don't want them and I don't need them "answered" The day I believe in God is the day PIGS FLY!
-Rhea~
~Guilt Free~~
http://www.opendiary.com/entryview.asp?authorcode=D284056&entry=10045
All4Christ--Kiss my ass 4/13/2004
Yeah I named her/him personally. I know this makes me seem upset and gives her advertisement but the holy rolling bitch left a note in my diary saying "Jesus loves you!" Knowing damn well I am an Atheist, I suppose that is why she did it. I am guessing she is a girl.-Sigh- When will her people get it? I don't want to be Christian. I base all my beliefs on science and truth and IMO (in my opinion) truth is what exist and is what can be seen or felt like science or love these things are real because you can prove them or feel them or see them but God and Jesus can not be proven. Don't give me that "They are in the bible!" bull crap, because are we really sure the bible is a fact? Because if the bible is fact then how come it wasn't in refrence at the library or at barnes and nobles no it was in FICTION at both places. If it is fact it would be under REFRENCE. All4Christ gett of my ass okay. This is not your diary this is my diary. This is not Jesus's life this my life. If I chose to not believe guess what? That is how it goes. I chose to belive that I controll my life and what happens to me. I believe that once we die we are dead . I don't believe in fate. I believe that I will do what happens and that fate is a falsehood. The bible is anti-feminist and I do not chose to live by anything that is anti-feminist. Anti Feminent Quotes:
Genesis
2:22
Woman created from Adam's rib
3:16
Woman cursed: maternity a sin, marriage a bondage
19:1-8
Rape virgins instead of male angels
Exodus
20:17
Insulting Tenth Commandment, considering a wife to be property
21:7-11
Unfair rules for female servants, may be sex slaves
22:18
"Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live"
38:8
Women may not enter tabernacle they must support
Leviticus
12:1-14
Women who have sons are unclean 7 days
12:4-7
Women who have daughters are unclean 14 days
15:19-23
Menstrual periods are unclean
19:20-22
If master has sex with engaged woman, she shall be scourged
Numbers
1:2
Poll of people only includes men
5:13-31
Barbaric adulteress test
31:16-35
"Virgins" listed as war booty
Deuteronomy
21:11-14
Rape manual
22:5
Abomination for women to wear men's garments, vice-versa
22:13-21
Barbaric virgin test
22:23-24
Woman raped in city, she & her rapist both stoned to death
22:28-29
Woman must marry her rapist
24:1
Men can divorce woman for "uncleanness," not vice-versa
25:11-12
If woman touches foe's penis, her hand shall be cut off
Judges
11:30-40
Jephthah's nameless daughter sacrificed
19:22-29
Concubine sacrificed to rapist crowd to save man
I Kings
11:1-4
King Solomon had 700 wives & 300 concubines
Organized religion always has been and remains the greatest enemy of women's rights. In the Christian-dominated Western world, two bible verses in particular sum up the position of women:
"I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee."--Genesis 3:16
By this third chapter of Genesis, woman lost her rights, her standing--even her identity, and motherhood became a God-inflicted curse degrading her status in the world.
In the New Testament, the bible decrees:
"Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression."--1 Tim. 2:11-14
One bible verse alone, "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live" (Exodus 22:18) is responsible for the death of tens of thousands, if not millions, of women. Do women and those who care about them need further evidence of the great harm of Christianity, predicated as it has been on these and similar teachings about women?
Church writer Tertullian said "each of you women is an Eve . . . You are the gate of Hell, you are the temptress of the forbidden tree; you are the first deserter of the divine law."
Faith, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel. -- Ambroise Bierce
The First Amendment To The U.S. Constitution:
"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof . . ."
Direct quotes from FFRF.ORGThis is not my only reason for believing against the mythology of any religion. I have stopped believing for the longest time. No one can convert me. Not the bible not my parents or family not some holy roller that post crappy notes in my diary. My family for most parts have beliefs about God and Jesus but they don't attend church. I don't have any beliefs and I don't wish for people to leave crappy ass notes in my diary about how Jesus loves me. I really don't give a crap, because I can prove the bible wrong using a few scientific methods. We have evolved sense Jesus was alive. If he ever was, and we know how the earth really works and does things. I hate to say this but what happens when we all die and there is no heaven or hell or nothing in between just death? Because as far as I see it that is all that there is. God has never proven to be real in all my life of all my prayers of all my research God hasn't been there then and I don't expect him to be there when I die. AND BTW why is God a he? HMmm? Well all I have to say is I am atheist and proud if you mamby pansy Christian babies can't stay out of my diary and out of my notes then you can get fucked. Which will leave you feeling guilty because you believe in sin. I don't need to feel guilty ever ever ever ever ever ever Because I can do what I want when I want and not feel like some one is watching over me. If I weren't on my rag I could walk around my bedroom nude! If I lived in my own place I could walk around there nude and never feel guilty. All you christians have guilts and sins and things you can and can not do, the bible is a big guilt trip and a big book of rules. Fuck it being one with God isn't as free as it seems. What is free is being free of religion. I controll me. No attachments or strings just plain old me. Yes I live by laws and rules but not ones that a fictional guy tells me to live by.Thanks for trying to save be but no thanks. I don't need your prayer or your guilt trips because I don't want them and I don't need them "answered" The day I believe in God is the day PIGS FLY!
-Rhea~
~Guilt Free~~
Friday, June 17, 2005
刘培草－背后有光
刘培草－背后有光
● 刘培草
朋友在电话上告诉我，身边许多人近来都或轻或重患上了忧郁症。
放下电话，一泓平静心水有了些波动。我没有问她是谁得了忧郁症，因为不想刺探别人的隐私。有信义的朋友不会轻易向人透露自己关爱者的心事，哪怕她和你有多深的交情。道义上她必须保护另一个全盘信赖她的朋友，这朋友正深受忧郁症困扰，却愿意对她推心置腹。
我心绪淡淡受触动，不能帮上什么，只有在心里默默祝福那些或许认识或许不认识的人，早日走出忧郁症的阴影，重拾信心，再见生命的亮光。
其实，我的朋友或许忘了，就在两三年前，我也曾对他说过同样的话：身边许多人近来都接二连三得了忧郁症。
我们的角色互换，但无论如何，我和他是属于较幸运的——患忧郁症的不是我们自己。不管是已经过去的或目前仍在发生的，我们比较幸运，是因为我们有余力，去帮助那些深陷忧郁囹圄的人；是因为我们有余情让自己放轻松，当一双耐心地聆听倾诉的耳朵；是因为我们心坎里腾得出一片空间，乐意去载负别人难以承受的重。
患忧郁症不是什么羞耻的事，现代都市生活竞争压力越来越大，任何性格再坚强、意志再坚定的人，都有可能在不自觉或不能自己中得了忧郁症。过去有段日子，亲友中就有平日性情极为开朗乐观的人，遭忧郁症来袭，而且缠绵良久才康复。
他们总是精神涣散、焦虑心悸、食欲不振、睡不安宁，或万念俱灰，对平日喜爱的事物完全失去兴趣，或对自己完全丧失信心，夸大一切问题的艰难与严重性。他们或沉默不语，或一再重复琐碎与唠叨，左不是右不行，对别人的劝解与开导总是听不进耳。
他们最需要的其实就是身边人耐力持久的体恤与关怀，而最重要的他们必须“认症”——坦白承认自己得了忧郁症，同时与心理医生合作，听从指示定时服药，十之八九的忧郁症患者都有痊愈的一天。
人生有时很吊诡，可曾想过：生命中有阴影，是因为有光源？当生活面向幽暗的时候，往往是因为自己的身体把背后亮光遮挡了。既然光在背后，只有你轻轻转动身躯，必然就见到灿亮的光华，不是吗？
这个比喻是外甥君伟最近告诉我的，很受用。是的，光就在那里，只要你愿意换个角度去看人生。
~I would have you smile, not grief for those whose time has come
● 刘培草
朋友在电话上告诉我，身边许多人近来都或轻或重患上了忧郁症。
放下电话，一泓平静心水有了些波动。我没有问她是谁得了忧郁症，因为不想刺探别人的隐私。有信义的朋友不会轻易向人透露自己关爱者的心事，哪怕她和你有多深的交情。道义上她必须保护另一个全盘信赖她的朋友，这朋友正深受忧郁症困扰，却愿意对她推心置腹。
我心绪淡淡受触动，不能帮上什么，只有在心里默默祝福那些或许认识或许不认识的人，早日走出忧郁症的阴影，重拾信心，再见生命的亮光。
其实，我的朋友或许忘了，就在两三年前，我也曾对他说过同样的话：身边许多人近来都接二连三得了忧郁症。
我们的角色互换，但无论如何，我和他是属于较幸运的——患忧郁症的不是我们自己。不管是已经过去的或目前仍在发生的，我们比较幸运，是因为我们有余力，去帮助那些深陷忧郁囹圄的人；是因为我们有余情让自己放轻松，当一双耐心地聆听倾诉的耳朵；是因为我们心坎里腾得出一片空间，乐意去载负别人难以承受的重。
患忧郁症不是什么羞耻的事，现代都市生活竞争压力越来越大，任何性格再坚强、意志再坚定的人，都有可能在不自觉或不能自己中得了忧郁症。过去有段日子，亲友中就有平日性情极为开朗乐观的人，遭忧郁症来袭，而且缠绵良久才康复。
他们总是精神涣散、焦虑心悸、食欲不振、睡不安宁，或万念俱灰，对平日喜爱的事物完全失去兴趣，或对自己完全丧失信心，夸大一切问题的艰难与严重性。他们或沉默不语，或一再重复琐碎与唠叨，左不是右不行，对别人的劝解与开导总是听不进耳。
他们最需要的其实就是身边人耐力持久的体恤与关怀，而最重要的他们必须“认症”——坦白承认自己得了忧郁症，同时与心理医生合作，听从指示定时服药，十之八九的忧郁症患者都有痊愈的一天。
人生有时很吊诡，可曾想过：生命中有阴影，是因为有光源？当生活面向幽暗的时候，往往是因为自己的身体把背后亮光遮挡了。既然光在背后，只有你轻轻转动身躯，必然就见到灿亮的光华，不是吗？
这个比喻是外甥君伟最近告诉我的，很受用。是的，光就在那里，只要你愿意换个角度去看人生。
~I would have you smile, not grief for those whose time has come
Thursday, June 16, 2005
blank
exams coming, so every other little things have been pushed to the back of my mind, blood gore life... oh well
chanced upon other's blog. noticed people write interesting entries, mostly lame, mostly reflecting their character their style.
wad's my style... haha.. i wonder.. cynical perhaps? or maybe pessimistic viewpts on life life & more stupid things on life...
8pm , did nthing cept for reading blogs & trying to find out when was the period of the Great Fear... the internet is addcitive...the temptations are there, lurking in the dark...
what do i have to reflect about life now...
with tang guo qiang as yong zhen once said, smthing like this, why do we pray to god / buddah / allah / fate? these come frm within us, our desires, our dream, hopes, fear, so we pray to let all these inner desires have a reposal. so there is a god inside everyone of us?
~I would have you smile, not grief for those whose time has come
chanced upon other's blog. noticed people write interesting entries, mostly lame, mostly reflecting their character their style.
wad's my style... haha.. i wonder.. cynical perhaps? or maybe pessimistic viewpts on life life & more stupid things on life...
8pm , did nthing cept for reading blogs & trying to find out when was the period of the Great Fear... the internet is addcitive...the temptations are there, lurking in the dark...
what do i have to reflect about life now...
that i believe that i can do great things but the problem is i have yet to know what is my true potential... so do many others of my age... what i need to do now is while studying to is find the true me.. meanwhile, hope remains...
i have a great need to find a religion. maybe cus i feel lost many times when it comes tp decision making. maybe someone like God will help me make a decision.. but with my scarcsm towards religion remains, i feel that if i do have a religion, i'll spend most of my time condeming it then let it be my spiritual guidance... i trust myself more...
~I would have you smile, not grief for those whose time has come
Sunday, June 12, 2005
心有灵犀
落花问 卷风帘
我的影子没有家
太阳红 树摇动
流浪何时能停泊
黑色忧郁 红色的痛
逃不出你的眼眸
蓝色的心 心中话语
翻不出你的手掌
心心有灵犀你的心
心有灵犀我的心
承诺太重 重的让我走不动
心有灵犀一念心
心有灵犀不必猜猜的太多
怀疑撞毁了相信
值得吗？
~I would have you smile, not grief for those whose time has come
我的影子没有家
太阳红 树摇动
流浪何时能停泊
黑色忧郁 红色的痛
逃不出你的眼眸
蓝色的心 心中话语
翻不出你的手掌
心心有灵犀你的心
心有灵犀我的心
承诺太重 重的让我走不动
心有灵犀一念心
心有灵犀不必猜猜的太多
怀疑撞毁了相信
值得吗？
~I would have you smile, not grief for those whose time has come
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
my life is...
my life is....
sad, pathetic, confusing, assholic,crappy, madness, schizophrenic, disgusting......
i've been of a very crazy mood recently, constant blaming of self doesn't help... one side of me tells me to face problems maturely, one side of me just tells me to face the problem straight on... i'm constanly debating with myself when i face an issue... i feel so tired...
frustration, anger, blame, guilt, confusion.... i'm plauged by all these junk now... it's making me sick..... i wish to go into hibernation....
and it all started with a game....
i wish to die....
~I would have you smile, not grief for those whose time has come
sad, pathetic, confusing, assholic,crappy, madness, schizophrenic, disgusting......
i've been of a very crazy mood recently, constant blaming of self doesn't help... one side of me tells me to face problems maturely, one side of me just tells me to face the problem straight on... i'm constanly debating with myself when i face an issue... i feel so tired...
frustration, anger, blame, guilt, confusion.... i'm plauged by all these junk now... it's making me sick..... i wish to go into hibernation....
and it all started with a game....
i wish to die....
~I would have you smile, not grief for those whose time has come
Saturday, June 04, 2005
if only u knew..
if only u knew this feelings u had were nt juz exclusive to u alone, would u have behaved differently?
if only u knew how much ppl cared, would u have loved urself more?
if only u knew how much pain u're causing others right now by ur remarks, would u have learnt to appreciate those around u more?
if only u knew how childish ur actions had been, would u haf learnt to think for others instead of urself always
if only u knew.... if only u knew... would i have been penning this down now?
guess this sounds stupid... someone did something foolish today and was warded in ICU.... it could have been u... i used to live in fear everyday... but nt anymore.... if there is a god... then i let he or she decide the life u want for urself... i can't live everyday worrying abt what decisions u make.... what i can do now... is just simply to give u my support and hopefully u will not regret it...
i used to think i was alone... nt anymore... i used to think i was the only one lost.... but now i know.... everyone is lost at some point of time... it is whether u seek to find what u truly believe in, or to just sit and wait...
i've to admit that even now...i still feel VERY lost.. but i just hope with all this silliness going around me, i do nt get influenced and do crazy stuff that will utimately prove myself to be a total disappointment... a failure...
what juz said keeps spinning in my mind... she said i didn't look sad.... i didn't look like a pessimist... it proved something that i have been spectaculating abt since i entered nanyang to be true.... i am nt myself... and have nt been myself for a long time... either let it be a permanant change or just a transition where i'll b a better person...
to all guys whom u think i have insulted u... i do nt insult, and i do nt mean it... i just tend to be sarcastic.... i shall change it den since i haf been out of touch with guys for 4 years...
~eternity
~I would have you smile, not grief for those whose time has come
if only u knew how much ppl cared, would u have loved urself more?
if only u knew how much pain u're causing others right now by ur remarks, would u have learnt to appreciate those around u more?
if only u knew how childish ur actions had been, would u haf learnt to think for others instead of urself always
if only u knew.... if only u knew... would i have been penning this down now?
guess this sounds stupid... someone did something foolish today and was warded in ICU.... it could have been u... i used to live in fear everyday... but nt anymore.... if there is a god... then i let he or she decide the life u want for urself... i can't live everyday worrying abt what decisions u make.... what i can do now... is just simply to give u my support and hopefully u will not regret it...
i used to think i was alone... nt anymore... i used to think i was the only one lost.... but now i know.... everyone is lost at some point of time... it is whether u seek to find what u truly believe in, or to just sit and wait...
i've to admit that even now...i still feel VERY lost.. but i just hope with all this silliness going around me, i do nt get influenced and do crazy stuff that will utimately prove myself to be a total disappointment... a failure...
what juz said keeps spinning in my mind... she said i didn't look sad.... i didn't look like a pessimist... it proved something that i have been spectaculating abt since i entered nanyang to be true.... i am nt myself... and have nt been myself for a long time... either let it be a permanant change or just a transition where i'll b a better person...
to all guys whom u think i have insulted u... i do nt insult, and i do nt mean it... i just tend to be sarcastic.... i shall change it den since i haf been out of touch with guys for 4 years...
~eternity
~I would have you smile, not grief for those whose time has come
Friday, June 03, 2005
传灯
传灯
每一条河是一则神话；
从遥远的青山流向大海。
每一盏灯是一脉香火；
把漫长的黑夜渐渐点亮。
为了大地和草原，太阳和月亮；
为了生命和血缘，生命和血缘。
每一条河是一则神话；
每一盏灯是一脉香火。
每一条河都要流下去；
每一盏灯都要燃烧自己。
~I would have you smile, not grief for those whose time has come
每一条河是一则神话；
从遥远的青山流向大海。
每一盏灯是一脉香火；
把漫长的黑夜渐渐点亮。
为了大地和草原，太阳和月亮；
为了生命和血缘，生命和血缘。
每一条河是一则神话；
每一盏灯是一脉香火。
每一条河都要流下去；
每一盏灯都要燃烧自己。
~I would have you smile, not grief for those whose time has come
sundial dreams part I
current status...: acting blur... nt myself
sundial dreams... i wish i could juz continue dreaming...
back frm lep camp, tired and lost... revision yet to be done.... stuff yet to be learnt and prepared bfore lectures... great...
had great fun... cept for lectures... blar blar blar... she is boring... she made me sleep... or maybe it's the afternoon heat and made me so drownsy... grp members were great though didn't manage to rmb their names cept for 2 ppl... ziyun and weiquan... and den there is my new "gor" plus renewing ties with old classmates frm backrow such as hl milk and getting to understand some ppl better such as tf and myg... oh well
this song playing reminds me of baiyungang again... oh well... too tired to think... test tml
ciao~
~I would have you smile, not grief for those whose time has come
sundial dreams... i wish i could juz continue dreaming...
back frm lep camp, tired and lost... revision yet to be done.... stuff yet to be learnt and prepared bfore lectures... great...
had great fun... cept for lectures... blar blar blar... she is boring... she made me sleep... or maybe it's the afternoon heat and made me so drownsy... grp members were great though didn't manage to rmb their names cept for 2 ppl... ziyun and weiquan... and den there is my new "gor" plus renewing ties with old classmates frm backrow such as hl milk and getting to understand some ppl better such as tf and myg... oh well
this song playing reminds me of baiyungang again... oh well... too tired to think... test tml
ciao~
~I would have you smile, not grief for those whose time has come
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