Sunday, June 08, 2008



i have every reason to continue writing here, and i have every reason not to. i don't know why ppl get so much pleasure from harassing ppl even though this blog was never meant to be private since the "common" argument is that a blog is never a private diary. post it up here and u shld also be ready to face criticisms. wadever

it's a constant question i ask myself everyday. how much have i learnt from past mistakes? how can i be better? yet i've always been at a lost to questions from students like, y shld i change? y shld i be a better person when i'm fine being who i am now?

because we all want to be loved? because we all want someone to care? because by not following the social norm, we risk being an outcast and thus being out of touch with others. we'll be alone. we are scared of being alone. because no matter how much of a misfit we are in the social norm, we will always try to find other misfits to gel with.

i want to change because i'm in pain. i want to change because i can't let go. i want to change because i know i can be better.

and then i sit there and wonder if everyone goes thru the same phase as i am. i am already 20 & yet i have problems with emotional management. i am 20 and yet i still don't know who i really am after 20 yrs. i am 20. i am 20.


qt said...

there are ppl who are 40, 60, 80, and they dunno who they are.
u are estelwen.
and we know wad estelwen means.

echizen said...

i think you should remember that 20 is still a young age. :) it's merely 1 year older than a teen! ease up on yourself :)

Cute cute huihui you love said...

maybe you can say
"oh sweetie, y don't u wanna be a better person when you know you are capable of bigger things?"

I really hope my students will change to become better for their own good and self esteem.

We can only influence them, not change them. It doesn't matter what other ppl think ba, most imprt is love ourselves. yeah =x my psycho skills rock ma.. i psychoed u to buy dress!

preach preach preach *yada yada*

huihui said...

anyway, WAHLAU EH. I din finish reading entry then i post comment leh.

ANyway hor, WAHLAU EH, u -only- 20 loh. I am 21 but i STILL have emo problems... though I am psychoing myself so much as u already know. hahahahhahaa. "OM" "OM" "OM"

Change la. Let go hor, very easy. I call u tmr or someting and tell u what i've read =X I have TONS of self help books blahblahblah like i already told u. hAHAHA

let go of pain. pain sucks.

chee said...

Some people lived n died without knowing that they don't know who they really are.

So hey! at least you tried?

cb said...

wahhhh seee so many people love and support you!!