maybe i'm just thinking too much into this whole thing tt i feel jaded & depressed. maybe it's just this simple reasoning tt u rejected it because of ur "promise" to & i happen to get it. maybe what u said is true, tt u had a commitment to keep towards sgh so u cldn't let go. right. so what abt me?
e fact remains, we went together, i got in, u did not. twice i had get a grip of myself to get over this overwhelming guilt coming down hard on me. it's been a few days? it still hurts to think that u're nt here. that somehow or rather i might be taking ur place
i'm tired of questioning myself over & over again if i shld have walked e "morally upright" path & continue my job as a BO astant. i guess in e end, i just gave up & followed what was e correct & realistic way to do things as my parents have strongly advised me.
we will all have to move on. it's only a matter of how much effort u need to just simply put down everything, ur responsibilities, ur promises, ur hopes & walk away frm this guilt. all this guilt.