laws of attractionHAHA

喜欢钻牛角尖，无法原谅自己，感觉错了一次，就好像没有弥补的机会，所以特别自责，也变得很厌倦社会。与其说厌倦，不如说我害怕，所以逃避。因为我背着很多包袱，而且是多余的负担。

还是不相信神明，鬼魔妖怪的存在，但特别相信命运，缘分和时机。

i think i'm seeing things, even though i dun believe them, i keep thinking that i've been seeing them, which is pretty ironic and full of crap. grandma still visits me.. HAHA.

i'm thankful, for the things they do, the little things like giving u words of encouragement out of the blue, telling u weird stuff like laws of attraction when u're cycling 40 plus km, worn out but amused with all e singing, screaming & insanity.

i'm grateful for e little things they give to me, words that sort out my shitty thinking. and i dun expect them to be there all e time because they've already given me more than enough.

yet i dun trust them, cus they exist on superficiality, on convenice, on value of worth.
they'll leave. they'll just leave when what it has been built upon crumbles, memories can't save them, even e best ones...

i've changed, i realised...

because i feel there's no need for me to put in more than what is my share in grp works because no one else bothers, and e acknowledgement doesn't get u anywhere. because u give it ur all but it's considered dumb becuase others are just not giving that much. because there is a market rate and we shld follow it.

there's no need for responsibility, there's no need for punctuality.
just sorries, sorries and more apologies

fine if they accept, or just get another friend who'll tolerate ur nonsense.

it's 4am.

i've lost my marbles. i'm a bimbo. HAHA

Therefore I say unto you, what things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them." ( Mark xi. 24. )

Yet once you have taken a decision, then rely on God. God loves those who are reliant” (Al-'lmran:159)