the future.... all so full of shit

why did u become a teacher??

because i had no where else to go....

lol, so cute la, that's e future generation of our educators,me included, they will be educating ur sons & daughters aka brats. but there's really nthing wrong with our kids today. i dun hate them. i only hate the soceity that breeds them. we're all coming out wrong. wrong values, wrong morals, wrong ideals, wrong wrong wrong...

honestly, it'd really be interesting to note what's the turnover rate of teachers as compared to other professions. because i don't know...

my blog's becoming very superficial!!! cus i'm becoming shallow like the toilet bowl. it rhymes!

i should start ogling at cute japanese boys again! hahaha. now i love oguri shun! HEEEEE

Pain Siah

Illness is the doctor to whom we pay most heed; to kindness, to knowledge, we make promise only; pain we obey.

Marcel Proust (1871–1922), French writer

morally upright piece of shit

i guess being morally right means so much to me that even the slightest hint that i'm being disloyal, being inconsiderate, being irresponsible, being selfish just touches a raw nerve and i'll be very upset @ e asshole who dare accuses me of that w/o any valid reason

but maybe i am not as morally upright as i've thought myself to be. since i've been flamed before for being a jerk to someone who didn't have e balls to admit who he/she is, and the recent project thing which just screwed me up with another guy, i don't know. or maybe it's karma since kahhui is a peranakan whom i just absolutely abhore so his good brother who looks like a paranakan decided to give me a taste of my own medicine by being a complete ass. i just know i try not to be an asshole.

i try...



“Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we personally dislike.”
Oscar Wilde



“The most important human endeavor is the striving for morality in our actions. Our inner balance and even our very existence depend on it. Only morality in our actions can give beauty and dignity to life.”
Albert Einstein

i am gay XD

it's very ironic, that teachers themselves are pretty scared of exams considering how much time we'll be spending on preparing for the examination when we teach in the future. pre and post exam times are hell when u have to set paper, analysis of papers, get pupils to stand up if they have Q1 wrong, Q2 wrong so on so forth. and den u write those comments where u're supposed to phrase things positively because kids these days cannot take a little bit of criticism or they'll melt and die and be forever traumatised. toufu-es

and me and my roommate have come to a conclusion that we should start saving up NOW. since u know that the global economic gloom is just looming close with banks closing down and then ppl queueing up outside banks due to the pranoia and den the cycle of banks not having enuff money den close down den more paranoia.
so save NOW, when economic depression strikes, cost of living drops, by den we'll have saved up enuff money to eat Jack's Place beef steak everyday! isn't tt cool? BEEF STEAK EVERYDAY!!! SIRLOIN! TENDERLOIN WADEVER LOIN. my econs is screwed but i figure this will definitely work to our advantage. HEEEEEE. slaps myself

and i've been VERY high when driving the car recently. but it gets kinda of hilarious when i get nervous cus my legs will pretty much step on everything there's for me to step so i'll accelerate if i'm supposed to stop or i'll stop if i'm supposed to accelerate. i believe that one day my instructor will just be so pissed with me or we'll just both die in a car accident. HURHUR. ok i'm nt THAT lousy but i've sworn to myself that i rather buy a car and eat shit slp in a car den buy a flat. i love cars, hate HDBs. so buy me a car on my birthday! okay okay okay? okay u've read this line so u've promised! HOHOHOHO.

~~~~

recently, religion's startin to bug me again. like when i'm filling up forms. because under religion, i can't reallhy put free-thinker cus i'm not and it's not really a damn religion too. and atheism is not really orthodoxed because it's like the ultimate where u just basically condemn everything. there's just so much negativity linked to athetism and i'm just worried tt ppl will bug me and try to change this piece of atheist asshole so that they can save another person condemned to hell. if i'm really going to hell, it isn't bothering me now anyway, it's more of the present where ppl give u the wide eye look and ask u what u think abt how the earth was created. at least my roommate got if from another christian. gahhh. shld have told her not to spread ard. but i wish they could at least change it to the category to beliefs rather than religion. it's too restricted...

on the topic abt filling upforms, i wonder how homosexuals feel if they're filling it up. and honestly, if parents say that all i want for u is happiness, but if ur happiness is in someone/something that is not the norm, why are they so unwilling to accept that? because females are made for males and vice versa? because u can't have a child with ur other half so it's not normal? if ur happiness is truly found in someone of the same sex, den what is wrong? i tot all this while, while we're so engrossed in the rat race, we're also seeking for happiness, someone to share weal and woe?

llife's so damn lame when u have no answers to questions, and no right or wrong.

let me sort things out

i dun noe why i'm depressed by what he said...

but i guess he made sense in one way or another.

but it's not like i've not wanted to come for meetings, nor that i'm slacking and refusing to do what the grp has told me to do.

sure i cld have conributed more if i knew wad e shit theories were abt.

and den when i try to give suggestions u said it was wrong. so it made me more confused then ever.

but i know i wldn't say this to anyone in e grp,

cus i just have to shoulder all the blame

or maybe i was really whining at that time... so let's just take it that everything was my own fault. that i shouldn't have said i don't know so openly, that when u only gave me 5 mins to think up of some crap i should have been born smarter and should have known what to say.

and den at the end of the whole damn issue i feel so depressed, even more lost then ever, and hating u to the core for being so impatient with ppl who are slow to understand what u really wanted.

i'm upset at a piece of crap. very upset.

this spam mail made my day

i had a bda day today

but this spam mail just made my day....


Dear {my hotmail add}
Want to be ready for sex in a few minutes?
Then Viagra Soft Tabs is your choice!

so short, so direct yet so lame. HURHUR

Define teacher

teacher
–noun a person who teaches or instructs, esp. as a profession; instructor.

that's it? a person who instructs?

my philosophical reflections class has been forcing me to rethink alot about my definitions of why i chose this career in the face place.

1. i did it for money and self survival.
i'm not THAT altruistic to go around claiming that kids are my first priority. when prices are shooting up, u'd realise that ur passion for kids cannot be converted into money, thus passion cannot feed ur empty stomach, what more maintain a family/lifestyle.

2. i flunked my As. sad but true, my results cannot get me anywhere. i love teaching, but i would have love to gone out to see the world. if i was rich, i would have gone out to get a private degree in history/psychology/chinese before entering NIE. NIE is a really really small world and the teaching community is not as united as we thought.

3. yeah, i did it for e kids, because i love to see smiles on kids faces. because i'm narcissitic and love ppl to call me miss yeo ten thousand times a day, even when they wanna go to the toilet. the sound of my sweet name is honey to my ears. HURHUR.

to put it simply, i'm scared of teaching still because i know that what i really need to tide me through the tough times when i enter a school to teach is not theory but experience. i'm afraid my lesson won't be fun. i'm afraid i'd conform to the traditional methods where i'll just dump them with tons of exam papers.

we all talk about freedom to teach e kids, but how many of us are really ready? or are we too busy joining in the rat race, trying to clamour on top of each other to get the boss's attention so that we can hopefully rise up the salary scale.

why are we suppose to accept the world we live in as it is? because this is globalization? because this is the century of materialism? if u can't beat it, join it? what kind of freakin logic is tt?
den be urself day now can be translated into going ard naked and it can be justified as a artistic talent? and when did gay and lesbianism come into this whole equation of being urself?


my previous contract school has been a scene of chaos, with daggers flying all over e place, and my ex colleagues are just trying their best to dodge all e crap that's flying around. i bet u'll be laughing when u picture pileloads of shit flying around work cubicles. HAHA. the joysss of office life.