hohoho, bloody hell

i think when u take up a job like mine, u suddenly sort of become a mind reader, playing psychotic mind analysing games with ppl whom u used to think had the absolute power and ctrl over u.

maybe it's nt only e kids who're trying to figure out wad e teachers are thinking. we do tt all e time too. & now i suddenly feel like i know what the bloody hell she's thinking.

and i didn't feel the slightest sense of guilt. it wasn't abt winning after all. it was just venting out the irritation and anger of someone always being anal and den getting done with it. it's like e evaporation of alcohol. don't dwell on the things that ppl say when they're hurt. hurhur because half of e time, it's just an ugly truth multiplied and blown up to gigantic proportions. and den after the thunderstorm we'll realise that none of us is perfect and just because we are related by blood means that we're just unfortunate enough to have to tolerate each others' crap. including my own.

u can nvr whine abt equality in treatment. it's just their way of handling things which they deemed is right. u've lived with it for 20 years. take it in ur stride and den let them make all e damn noise they want. if it makes them feel better or that they're in ctrl. go ahead.

we're all stupid. wanting so much of the other person but expecting none of ourselves.

sad but funny huh

*and then knowing that now've supposedly figured out her anal character, u have every more reason to tolerate her don't u? zzzzzz. confucious is crap but i live by it anyway.

~~

why shld u respect someone who is so irritatingly flawed and anal when e only reason u can think of when u're so damn angry with her is just that she takes care of u. den at e back of ur head u'll be screaming 'SO FUCkING WAD'?

so what if the 9 months that she had u was difficult and tiring and what have u? BIG DEAL

so what if she nurtured u and pampered u with all the shit loads of shit.

she's hypocritical, she doesn't deserve respect, she's just screaming and shouting like her butt's on fire when she sees something not done her way. she just doesn't practice wad she teaches us.

den at the end of it all when u feel like ludging ur backpack and move back to the hostel, or just fling a bowl of shit at her mouth, u'll realise that we're equally flawed as humans. that she had every reason to be angry at us as we have any reason to be angry with her for being so intolerant.

so blow up, shed a few tears, think of how u can avoid such a conflict with her the nxt time and den move on. no guilt, no sweat. yeah merry christmas