i'm srry for being an asshole

i think i've been pretty anal recently, to the point of extremely irritating and stupid and squarish.

today i was just being a total BEE-ITCH to my class cus e principal and v p was just 2 classes away from mine and i really didn't want them to "visit" me when it wasn't my lesson observation yet.

and i think my IQ has been bordering on the range of stupidity and idiocy. choose either one, there's nt much difference. u can talk to me and den u'll realise that my reaction time is not as fast as i like it to be. or maybe, i've been that slow since the beginning of time. just that now it's much more damn obvious.

i don't like the way i am now. my personality seems to be taking a 100 % change from good to worse.

maybe it's because of the students, but maybe it's just because i'm just wallowing in self pity which makes me pretty much screwed up in the head. my sense of judgment is pretty much kuku now.

i'm srry for being an asshole. i'll change. i promise.

hello world! happy v day!

i don't know why i'm so not looking forward to sch. the crazy mood swings & e kids all over e place with e principal & v-p walking ard. i think they hates me... cus i was late for a meeting once and i was sketching the picture of my mobile phone during e meeting.

C'MON, I WAS BORED!!!! and i was listening!!! i think... wad da hell.

and there was once when i tot my class wasn't noisy at all when e vp walked in and scolded my class. ARHHHHHHHH. she apologised to me which made me even more stressed. bleahx.

and my students dunno what fuck means. because frm their hp dictionary which sucks, it explains it as a word people scold when they're angry. so i guess they assumed it was harmless. so they messaged me this, good bye miss yeo, wtf. and i went o.o

they are so lame, they make me angry, they have a weird sense of humour by throwing stones @ me & telling me i need to have a bf but they're e bunch i look forward to seeing everyday. really. somehow they just became a reason why i go to sch. or else i wld have given up.

damn, e tourism market looks very "lucrative" recently. maybe i shld consider joining. BWAHAHA

i hate ppl like u.

i'm tired....

get the hint?

so just shut up and go away. i hate ppl like u.

signs

i find myself loving to do these things again such as...

staring blankly into space before snapping back into reality

standing in front of the window and zoning out into the darkness

thinking about people whom i didn't think about for over a year

"traumatized" by events and people around me. things that i wish so hard for it not to happened has happened.

going to slightly more extreme mood swings

hating myself alot recently

thinking abt death & wanting people to regret what they've done to me

i find myself...

thinking alot.


~~~~

e only thing i've been looking forward to is to borrow that damn cd from e library. HAH!

i'm scared because i know it's nt PMS but i really hope i'll be ok. i really hope...