~I would have you smile, not grief for those whose time has come

Im so sorry, 

U said

But of what use

After u have left me bleeding. 

Prodding me again and again

Of how right u were

How unfair i was

How i shouldve planned it better

But thats what people do when they are in pain

Keep planning and fighting to take control of every single thing in their life

Because they have lost so much else in one day

That all they can do is just fight back to control what's life in their lives

But u dont understand

After ive repeatedly told u to stop

U just dont

Until it's too late. 

hello 2 years

hello 2017

it's been 2 years

ive been leaving bits and pieces of myself on fb that i dont really come here anymore.

convenience and instant gratification

u cant really be heard here. but then again why do u want to be heard?

things have changed. we're a lil more used to the fact that u are gone now though mum makes it a point to reopen that wound once in a while.

and then there's this marriage, house, kids and the standard fare that most couples go through. standard
mundane
apparently very necessary

the whole idea of a marriage has been baffling and sometimes i feel that i'm carrying the load of 2 instead of my own burdens.

why do we want to have a house, why do we need to have kids.

why is this world not enough for us that we need a physical anchor and mini versions of ourselves to prove that we are here.

and with all these responsibilities and promises.

where will i be?

where will my place be?


~I would have you smile, not grief for those whose time has come