insomnia

i can't slp

i can't slp

my heart & my head is not telling me what i need to know.

the end always marks a new beginning.

i want to move on.

yet i'm the only obstacle to my progress.

am i being selfish?

or is it all done in the name of self preservation?

why can't i slp....

------------------
i am no saint.

as much as she's an emotional leech

i might just be another emotional leech to someone else too.

i wish i was a better friend.

hate post. hahaha

i think

e more i try not to hate someone

the more i'll hate.

the things that make u, u.

it's like u're trying to own my fucking life.

why do u care who i mix ard with?

why do u care

fuck u

get e fuck out of my life.

judge

don't judge me

tt's e first thing he said to us when he first met us

now this phrase is getting popular with us too.

but dont we judge all e time?

it's like asking humans not to breathe.

no matter how hard we try not to, we always form conclusions, we always have first impressions, if those are not judgements, what are those?

i guess ultimately

it's how we live with ourselves...

i guess...

Lonely She

Lonely She

Lonely, she climbs a mountain:
At the top, in mirror blue air,
Her cloud-white breath disappears—
She is nothing and does not care.

The neighboring mountains shrug,
Old men playing solitaire;
On her bare peak a single shrub
Shrivels in the sun’s cold glare.

The view of empyrean expands
Below the same sky everywhere:
She is nothing and nobody—
A spirit freed that does not care.

Like her trailing breath, she drifts
Far from the joys of despair
Until, too late, she thins
And disappears up there.

~Lionel Willis

也只是空谈

一句一伤 无话可讲
你坐看缘分了断
当意念已转 再多遗憾
也只是空谈

一句一伤 无话可讲
我起身安静拈香
我停止想像 你的模样
闭上眼倔强

也许我和你的不同，就是我懂得控制，而你不懂。我学会了独自流泪，而你不会。这，就是你我之间的距离吧。

dear faith

i miss u

lol

it's sunday

to u, to us, to all

dear god

i'm tired n weary

yet i'm unable to slp

i'm unable to do anything

yet they keep coming to me, overwhelming me with emotions, making me confused

dear god

i wish for peace in my heart

i pray for gd night's rest

i wish to be free from these ppl.

~~~

maybe i was't meant for these kind of things

e inability for me to accept ppl can just move on, have flings, play with each other emotions like it's some cheap dirt that don't deserve any respect. how is this different from one night stands?

what do u mean by being "professional"

i know i haf no right to judge.

maybe i wasn't meant for this kind of friends

a tale, a tall tale

i am affected

by things that does not concern me

but by people tt are related to me

i dun noe why i'm affected.

it's a weird feeling

maybe these are e things u just can't control

no matter how rationale u try to be

no matter how much u tell urself tt it doesn't make sense

maybe tt's how u feel

maybe i'm starting to understand how u feel

that these things cannot be controlled

the jealousy, e possesiveness, e fear

tt's wad makes us so fragile

tt's wad tt makes all of us so selfish.

Prayer of the Selfish Child

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray thee Lord my soul to keep
And if I day before I wake
I pray thee Lord my toys to break
So none of the other kids can use em
Amen

Shel Silverstein

insomnia

insomnia shld be killed n shot in e head.

fuck it's 6am.

to think i was wondering how on earth can ppl haf insomnia

now i'm wondering how on earth ppl with insomnia get their slp.

~~

my sis said: "u're bothered by ur rmmate"

"yeah i noe. i don't give a damn"

"well, now u're contradicting urself"

maybe it's gd to know her through the eyes of someone else.

someone else less judgemental. someone who didn't noe abt her past.

living together does take it's toil on u. u get worn out. u get jaded. n den u wonder how u cld haf lived with her for 1 year n a half

n now tt u're nt living with her, u wonder how e tot of applying for a single rm cld occur to u

humans are such a pain in arse.

fucked up.

life : flikr defined

life is

learning how to be alone

but at e same time
knowing that there'll be bright splashes of colour which will brighten up ur days

it's abt learning to take chances,
opening doors which might lead to dead ends, or not

it's knowing that u'll be in a dumps,
once in a while

ultimately, it's abt love
loving someone, someone loving u

And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.

at 3am

i came to the sudden realization

that i've become too concerned abt how i look on e outside

that i neglected how i looked from e inside.

why is this balance so difficult to maintain...

~~~
@ age 21,

simin still doesn't know what she wants from life still.

but one thing i know for sure.

i am loved, n loving ppl for now

n for this.

i am happy. e way i am now. for now =)

知足

truth hurts

i wonder if telling my mum abt it was e right thing.

i just dun wan them to look at me different.

i'm nt crazy.

i'm normal.

aren't i?

----

just when u tot it's so simple

everything starts to get complicated again.

life suxs when u're walking in circles.