u know what.... five months into this and i still feel very lost. and i've been getting into alot of trouble with the kids and the higher ups recently...
i cannot find anyone to talk to in sch. and all this is like my fault. or maybe it is my fault. even till now i know there are things that i must do but i have no idea what or things are just being thrown at me and i have to know how to do it immediately. no one is telling me where or when i have to do them, except for my another contract teacher who is kind enuff to tell me if i've remembered to do this or that of which 9 out of the 10 things i don't know.
i'm losing my motivation to work and i just wish for this to end. i wonder how my colleague felt the other time. and i know that i'm not the only one with this classroom management problem crap as well.
and i know the easiest way out of this shit is just to quit and then find another job or just another uni to study.
why have i held on until now? why can't i just let go?
what am i holding on for?
why can't i just die...