~I would have you smile, not grief for those whose time has come

It's been years
Since i stopped thinking
N stopped improving myself
Ppl always say during weddings tt he/she has made me  better person
I find it very hard to imagine tt
Apparently my mind goes thru a 2 step process
Trigger happens n i am troubled.
I act up but i do nt confide in anyone
I eventually burst the dam n someone drowns.

N because u have been the closest so far. Uve drowned
Time n again.
Maybe i do know what is goin on
But i just dont give a fuck
I cld give alot of reasons or excuses.
But none of them shows signs of me tryin actively to change myself

U want me to b honest with u.
I find tt extremely difficult to do

But how does writing here make me different frm ur 17year old best friend.
I m bitter abt alot of things now
E fact tt i have to drive u ard
E fact tt u blew up on me once at e stupid place cus of car keys n ure lecturing me abt giving support
E fact tt ur sis tried to counsel me abt money spending matters.
E fact tt u always complain abt ur family n how they shld be spinsters while i cant.
Or maybe all these are irrational reasons
Fueled by stubborness n ego

Wld they even be relevant. If we have broken up

iwrotethisforu

it's funny how someone closest to you can say the most hurtful and childish things

like oh i unfollowed ur fb cus u were posting lame stuff.

yup tt's stupid, but i prolly dint need to know that becuase it hurts?

u know u sometimes need to keep ur mouth shut n think before you speak

we go around seeking for approval even from, especially from the people closest to us.

don't tell me you don't do that too.

so stop acting like u're so damn smart n that u're better than everyone else

but i guess u prolly wldn't see it anyway.