of lonliness and being alone

it's been a while photoshop.

n it brings back so many memories.
impeding threats of lawsuits of defamation
police reports and what nots
i'm still terrible at it.


“…there are two types of people in the world: those who prefer to be sad among others, and those who prefer to be sad alone.”

we were talking abt dreams yest
it was good how love cld provide some with such a strong pillar of support
it's amazing how love cld seemingly let them soar higher in life
but to me it has always and is still been a burden
i think being alone pushes us to do greater things then being in a group
being alone means u're out of ur comfort zone
u can't rely on any one for help
u can only save urself.

yet the only terribly thing abt being alone
is that when u fall
u fall alot harder
and u bleed alot more

yes the afternoon heat is really driving me crazy

dreams

my best and worst dreams are abt flying

not in the plane.

it’s peter pan style really. retarded

there’s so much freedom.

and then suddenly u’ll realise tt u’re lost,

and someone will be after u

n

u

keep

trying

to

get

away.

u can’t stop because u’re dead meat once u do

i just never had e guts to stop flyin

to see what i was getting away from.

要诚，要忠，要有耐心

这样子过着甜如蜜的生活
有时候似乎让我觉得其他的人不重要了。
但也因为这样子要时时提醒自己
这些所谓“其他的人”可是你在最低落的时候给予你希望。

就因为人会变，
并不代表我对他们的态度就因而改变
对人要诚，要忠，要有耐心。
才能算是称职的朋友。
 谨记

irreplacable

the day u become irreplacable

is the day i fall in love with u

告白

 心の弱い者が更に弱い者を傷つける、傷つけられた者は耐えるか、死を選ぶしかないのか？いや、君達が生きているのはそんな狭い世界じゃないんだ、今いる場所が苦しいのなら、別の場所に避難してもいいんじゃないか。


ここからあなたの後世の第一歩が始まるんです

that moving imagery

tt's all she had
that face that moved, and the voice that spoke

she sensed no warmth and felt no breath

so once that moving imagery stops

she wakes up

and

spends hours trying to convince herself

why she should not fall ( )

the weight of the heart

love becomes a burden
when u assume that u know what is best for the other

 

A conversation begins
with a lie. And each

speaker of the so-called common language feels
the ice-floe split, the drift apart

as if powerless, as if up against
a force of nature

The scream
of an illegitimate voice

It has ceased to hear itself, therefore
it asks itself

How do I exist?

This was the silence I wanted to break in you
I had questions but you would not answer

– Adrienne Rich

n learning stops n starts again

i could haf sworn i hated teaching.

until i forced myself to sit down and write lesson plans n think of activities
my mind becomes a virtual classroom with all these brats filled inside.
n i keep thinking of ways to keep them interested in the class
to keep the show going so that they'll want to learn.
i want them to be happy when they're learning.
i want them to see how knowledge can be applied to real life.

today was really bad though. by my standards. a bad bad lesson.
a lot of things werent really my fault. like 3 teachers coming in back to back to get students out of my class.
but the things i could have foreseen, i did not. soooo i have to work sooo much harder.

i do miss teaching.
i
suppose.
lol

Not all those who wander are lost.

一个人在路上久了，感情也会变得脆弱。

当遇到超级极限的事情， 在无法承受的时刻，马上就会崩溃。

而我，早已忘了自己跨了多少次？

然而，跌过，哭过，最终还是带着伤痕走了过来。

当经历多了，自然极限也就变得更广了，

最终：“不死就好”便成了我的座右铭。

~ 黄爱琳 《再苦也要去旅行》

 

 If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light. Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness and fears." - Cesare Pavese

“Traveling is a brutality. It forces you to trust strangers and to lose sight of all that familiar comfort of home and friends. You are constantly off balance. Nothing is yours except the essential things – air, sleep, dreams, the sea, the sky – all things tending towards the eternal or what we imagine of it.” – Cesare Pavese

“All travel has its advantages. If the passenger visits better countries, he may learn to improve his own. And if fortune carries him to worse, he may learn to enjoy it.” – Samuel Johnson

“Once you have traveled, the voyage never ends, but is played out over and over again in the quiestest chambers. The mind can never break off from the journey.” – Pat Conroy

“What you’ve done becomes the judge of what you’re going to do – especially in other people’s minds. When you’re traveling, you are what you are right there and then. People don’t have your past to hold against you. No yesterdays on the road.” – William Least Heat Moon

“I soon realized that no journey carries one far unless, as it extends into the world around us, it goes an equal distance into the world within.” – Lillian Smith

“Adventure is a path. Real adventure – self-determined, self-motivated, often risky – forces you to have firsthand encounters with the world. The world the way it is, not the way you imagine it. Your body will collide with the earth and you will bear witness. In this way you will be compelled to grapple with the limitless kindness and bottomless cruelty of humankind – and perhaps realize that you yourself are capable of both. This will change you. Nothing will ever again be black-and-white.” – Mark Jenkins

But I would walk 500 miles And I would walk 500 more

i am given the whole world to work on
and the freedom to do what i want
i'm not prepared to give up my world to you

u once promised me that u'll be there

u'll sit next quietly nxt to me when i cry

wad's lacking

was the courage to approach u when i wanted to cry

tempting

i sat there n rambled on

n listened to words not of my own

i tried

i lied

i cried

they said u can't tempt fate.

i'd rather not tempt love

no one understands me

they bemoaned

but then again.i never sought to be understood.

i live in my own ironies.