i'm going to hell

i think i'm either a atheist, satan, or a buddhist. wadever shit it is. i dun really care anymore.

it just pisses me off that sometimes, i still live in fear or letting ppl know my beliefs because i know how unaccepting ppl can be towards others who reject miracles as proof of existence for the man up there. and it irks me more to know that my mum, thanks to her siblings aka my aunty & uncles, who are pious to the point of just blind followers, ok that's not a fair judgment, they are pious to the point of irritating just sriously brain washed my mother, whom i've come to realise will believe every dumb thing that works when i fucking tell u it's pure coincidence.

up to this point, my maternal family has spend thousands on my grandmother's funeral, and what not. & my parents had to quarrel because my dad refused to pay his respects to the Buddhist monks cus he tot they were blood/money sucking assholes who didn't deserve his respect. HURHUR. i mean wadever. i just tot it was ridiculous that a chair placed on top of three tables stacked on top of each other can only be sat on by a person with HIGH order of religious cultivation. so this monk will go up there & chant & supposedly some high ranking deity will posses him and give him powers. i mean WTF, he's just got gd balance wad. i tell u if it wasn't for my mother i would have climbed up there & sat on it myself. then everyone will say i'm the reincarnation of BUDDHA. HAHAHA. POWDERFUL RITE.

& yes i'm fucking stressed in e first wk of sch. i'm screwed. LOL. only for now.