paranoia

u're gonna fall u're gonna fall u're gonna fall u're gonna regret this u're gonna regret this u're gonna regret this u're gonna regret this u're gonna regret this

maybe the reason y i wanted hall wasn't e distance

but i just wanted out

because ur temper turned me into a twisted soul
n all those burden u unload on me just triggered off the paranoia

i just want to breathe

thank u for the memories

thank u
for trusting that this trip could work out
for being so thoughtful when i'm down
for trying to throw me off a bridge n then showing me mercy
for the times u didn't flare up at me &; for the times u did
for trusting that i could cook for e both of us & swallowing down those that werent edible
for rushing all the way back just to grab my camera to take pictures of the kangaroo in our backyard
for bringing us ard n letting me stay in ur room
for being so forgiving
for letting me rest when i was weary

thank u for letting me know that i am/was loved.

thank u for the memories

WWOOF in Riddles Creek + Stayover in Sunbury + Tasmania
31stmay-20thjune
rc,kn,sm

extreme emotions such as anger n depression clouds judgement
it impairs u
to e point where u can't think.
but e worse thing is

u leave no room for negotiation.

u just need to trust me more.

i was busy fending off an over zealous victim of a apparent "failed relationship"
followed by a confession of sorts which i wasnt really prepared to hear
and we ended it off with a concerned friend getting agitated because we didn't see where each other was coming from

guess it hasnt been going well.

and yes when u're intentions are misunderstood there can only be alot frustration pent up inside because u start to wonder what u've done or said wrong to cause all this agitation and negativity.

i might be tat upset cus my pride was bruised. that u didn't believe me to be capable enough to look at this issue and deali with it in an appropraite manner.

i might be feeling down because i wish there was a way i could tell u that despite me sounding overly irrational and taking more chances with the unknown then i should have, that i did do my research, that i did think of what are the possibilities. i won't just jump into a fire without a fire-proof vest or not knowing how to get out of the fire alive or should i get burnt what are the other alternatives i can take to escape. so u don't have to worry because i don't want u to and i want u to trust that i can take care of myself.

u just need to trust me more.

from me to HBT

my heart is always 2 hours ahead of where i currently am

n it is tiring?


n maybe it's nt because i don't know
it's cus i dun wanna start a rship at all
i dont trust feelings
i dont trust love
they are intangible
they are not real

to u, u & u

when we no longer can bear our hearts n fears to each other
that's when the love stops and the doubt grows.
tt's when one becomes increasingly more paranoid than the other.
but i guess it's alright.

we were born alone in this world anyway.

the oxygen thief

i can't rmb e exact lines u said.
but it suddenly occurred to me that instead of letting u in on my life
i might be burdening u with my troubles instead.

maybe none of us can accept melo-drama imperfections
even that of close friends
in fact i wonder most of e time if we were where we used to be
it's like for her, our time stopped after the day she pushed me into a corner
for us, our time stopped along e banks we sat at
where u talk abt how disconnected u are from e ppl who were close to u
i guess time sort of stopped there for me
while u moved on.

i dun blame u i guess.
i wasnt e perfect one too.
n i wonder y u keep pushing me back to her
when we're already so far apart

i'm happy for the way we were
n e way u will be

i'm srry for disappointing u
u still are awesome
goodbye

i'm moving. find me here

this is random
but it was 3 days ago i think.
when i felt a need for change

so i'll be moving here: http://yangsimin.wordpress.com/

somethings triggered it. but i guess it's always better for everyone? X)

SMILE.

I think it scared her...

 

"I think she was afraid to love sometimes. I think it scared her. She was the type to like things that are concrete, like the ocean. Something you could point to and know what it was. I think that's why she always struggled with God. And I think that's why she also struggled with love. She couldn't touch it. She couldn't hold on to it and make sure it never changed."

"Sometimes it's those things you can't touch that you need to hold on to the most."

last.summer.two.years.back.into.the.future

maybe i am u
n u are me
n i give u more pain
then joy.
n maybe tt's why
u had to take a step back
from me

i fell

u haf to understand
i come from a family of highly emotional n irrational creatures

n over e course of living this damned life
i haf fallen more than once to feelings i can't control
n i end up bloodied, n scaring those closest to me away.

i can't trust feelings.
it's brought me to the depths of hell n left me scars
i don't wanna live thru this ever again.

@ friend sng

n for that once when i said i love you, i meant it :)

hear ye hear ye for this is my voice

An atheist loves his fellow man instead of god. An atheist believes that heaven is something for which we should work now – here on earth for all men together to enjoy.

An atheist believes that he can get no help through prayer but that he must find in himself the inner conviction and strength to meet life, to grapple with it, to subdue it, and enjoy it.

An atheist believes that only in a knowledge of himself and a knowledge of his fellow man can he find the understanding that will help to a life of fulfillment.

He seeks to know himself and his fellow man rather than to know a god. An atheist believes that a hospital should be built instead of a church. An atheist believes that a deed must be done instead of a prayer said. An atheist strives for involvement in life and not escape into death. He wants disease conquered, poverty vanquished, war eliminated. He wants man to understand and love man.

He wants an ethical way of life. He believes that we cannot rely on a god or channel action into prayer nor hope for an end of troubles in a hereafter.

He believes that we are our brother's keepers and are keepers of our own lives; that we are responsible persons and the job is here and the time is now.

AA

head over heart

and it is only in times like this

am i glad for the constant reminders

together with my pride n ego

to keep me head above my heart

n to let those sweet nothings

ring empty

in memory of those who passed before us…

it is scary because i think most of our pain are from our own imagination & fears. and in our minds these sufferings seem to occupy the whole world. but in reality, its really no big deal.

and that’s why it’s so scary.

how our mind can condition us to believe that the pain is so much bigger that there is no room for hope and ultimately we drive ourselves to either physical or spiritual death.

~~

i nvr deleted that msg.

it serves as a constant reminder of how easy it is for anyone to fall into that bottomless pit hole, never to see light again.

Lamentation

“I see, but I cannot show;
I feel, but cannot express.
Words come, but will not go.
I fly only in darkness,
Alone;
A creature of the night,
A child of confusion
Without direction.”
- Anon.

RIP

Did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded And that heaven is overrated

ciao

The word "ciao'"' (Italian pronunciation: [ˈtʃaːo], English: /ˈtʃaʊ/) is an informal Italian verbal salutation or greeting, meaning either "hello", "goodbye"

The word derives from the Venetian phrase sciào vostro (in Italian schiavo vostro) or s-ciào su literally meaning "I am your slave". This greeting is analogous to the Latin Servus which is still used in a large section of Central/Eastern Europe. The expression was not a literal statement of fact, of course, but rather a perfunctory promise of good will among friends (along the lines "if you ever need my help, count on me").

wiki

this is what's on my mind

twice i spiraled out of control because of u

tt's how bad i am at managing myself

i'll pull u down.

together we'll drown.

i wish u hadn't said a word

i wish u hadn't intervened

but then again.

maybe it was better tt i knew.

but things were already in perspective,

or was it?

n it will end. somehow.

1314 is for e dellusional

i think i haf commitment issues.

i'm good at getting myself to believe that there's nothing there.

at all.

n the stars were pretty tonight =)

to live

To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering.